I just don't understand why I am the way I am. I have lots of friends and lots of people that want to hang out with me but I avoid most social situations! I instead spend my time home alone and I hate talking on the phone. I hardly ever answer when people call.
I have looked into social phobia and it is not that because I don't have this intense fear of social situations and I don't really have any of the symptoms they list. I just lose interest easily and I hate small talk. I always have to drag myself out and I hardly ever initiate get togethers myself. I guess I am lucky to have the persistant friends I have or I would never go out. I think part of the problem is that I feel like with some of my friends, I am under this unspoken obligation to entertain because I am a funny person by nature but I think this drains me. I think social situations in general drain me. I always want to drive separately even though one of my friends is my roommate, because the thought of being stuck in a social situation without the option of getting away is terrifying to me.
I used to use drinking as a way to deal with social situations but began to suspect I might have a problem with that so I gave it up a year and a half ago. Now it is even harder to deal with social situations, especially if everyone else is drinking.
The strange thing is that I wasn't always like this! Not when I was younger like in elementary school and high school. I talked on the phone all the time and I wanted to be around people! I think I noticed a change about 6 years ago... at least I recall that is when I stopped enjoying talking on the phone. I don't really know when this really anti-social stuff happened but it's been like this for at least 5 years now.
I just feel so alone in this. I don't know anyone else who is like this. I feel like I am probably missing out on a lot of things because of the way I am and I don't like it. What can I do???