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Thread: my boyfriend broke up with me has a new girlfriend Help

  1. #1
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    my boyfriend broke up with me has a new girlfriend Help

    [size=18]Im 16 and just broke up with my boyfriend (who is 19) about a month and a half ago. We were together for two years I met him my freshman year and he was a senior. I have been with him for two years and we had alot of problems but we loved each other so much that we always would break up and get back together. I know we fought a lot mostly pity little fights and some huge ones too but I loved him so much and he loved me too so we would never end it for good. He even said how he was going to buy me an engagement ring for my 18th birthday. But he started to like this girl at work a few months ago and we were having some problems as always. Eventually he broke up with me because he was sick of fighting and both of us being upset all the time. I admit it I was upset a lot because I never felt like I could make him happy enough. We were happy when we didnt fight but like I said the fighting was a lot. He says he still loves me but he started dating this girl he liked. Now I dont know if we are going to get back together and im scared that if he is with her too long he'll stop loving me and there will never be a chance for us. His new girlfriend is mean and brags about him in front of me on pourpose and has cheated on every one of her boyfriends. I know because i go to school with her and know a lot of her friends. He does not know anything about her except what she tells him which I happen to know is all lies. but he wont believe me and her ex boyfriend told me how she slept with him while they were dating which was like a week after they first went out. She hangs out with other guys all the time and hold hands with her ex at school but he wont believe it or he will be like "well im not jealous anymore" because he was extremely jealous when we were together. Im so scared he is going to forget about me and end up getting really hurt and that it ruin anything for us because he was already cheated on before and it killed him. He knows I would never cheat on him and he told me that if she hurt him he would know that i would be there and he knows i wouldnt do that. Im torn between waiting for him or moving on even if that means rejecting him later down the road if he asks me back even if i still want him back. I love him more that I have ever loved anyone and I really believe we could be together for the rest of our lives but will I change my mind later down the road. I have never seen anyone but him and cant get myself to stop thinking about anything but him every single day every second.It is tearing me apart. Im so depressed and i just want to feel better. Please if you have any advice for me it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks[/size]

  2. #2
    Bronze Member nikkers04's Avatar
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    The saying is if you love someone you have to let them go. If they come back you know its meant to be. Your only 16...I didn't have my first real boyfriend until after I graduated. You have alot to learn. You guys have been together for a while....So since he doensn't want to be with you right now...the best thing would be move on...show him you can do it with out him ...how do you know he is the one....Try dating other people...if you start to fall for someoen else you know that your love for your guy was only an illusion. Keep in touch talk as friends at least you can still have him in your life as something. Stop wasting all your energy on him...thats where I messed up....Do something great for you...spend more time working out or studying for good grades...learn a new hobbie go for a make over....Do something for you and forget about him for a while.....he will realize he messed up....That doens't mean he will come back...but if he does it will be a surprise for you.

  3. #3
    Gold Member kuhl282000's Avatar
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    Hello

    Sorry for your loss. You must feel really hurt and I really understand. It will pass in time and you will heal even though it does not seem so at present. Stay busy , and then get even busier just to keep your thoughts elsewhere at least for now. You can't control people and you can't make someone love you no matter how hard you try. Stay out of the information loop for now, things happening you really don't need to know about or want to know about. You are very sensitive right now, protect your broken heart until it heals.

    Be strong, come here to vent.......

    These are for you to watch over you till your strong again


    Kuhl

    :P

    Be grateful for what you had together, because the personal memories are sometimes all we are left with. Life goes on, and so will you.

  4. #4
    Member ttseng01's Avatar
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    I didnt have my first bf until I was 15. We were together for almost 2 years but he broke up w/ me after his vacation where there were bunch of girls in bikinis. Well.. we had the same relationship as yours where we fight alot but end up being together again cause of how much we love each other. And yeah, we had plans of being together. After awhile, he was tired of the fighting, so he broke up w/ me and moved on. Right now, Im 19, and Ive been w/ my new bf for almost 2 years. I am VERY happy. It took me awhile to realize that I was really deeply in love was because he was my first bf and the first who love me.
    From experience... you should just let him go for now. Yes, its very hard (i know because i was crying for 3 months straight). Try to keep your schedule busy, such as friends and school. This way u wont think about him much. There are a bunch of other girls who will love you the same or love u more. You just have to be patience. Everything happens for a reason. Trust me. )

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  6. #5
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    Im in dire need of some comfort

    I hust got of the phone with him and I told him how his girlfirend was bragging about how they had sex and I thought she was just luing for attention because that is what she does. but he didnt deny it he just said I cant help what she says. we have not been together for a month and a half thay have been together a month and he said he loved me and now he loves her. He said he loved her like a week after. How can he tell me that he loved me and then leave me and be over it so fast. he said he wanted to be with me forever and no it all i cahnged because of a lying cheat. how could he do that so fast? I feel like im going to die. please help me

  7. #6
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Hi - This sounds like a very hard time for you... Listen to what everyone else has to say. Keep busy. Study, go out with friends, rent a movie, walk your dog, anything other than think about him and his new gf. Your first love is very powerful, but trust me, you will learn so much from this experience. You will grow so much. You're going to be ok - just get some new hobbies and spend time with your friends.

    Take care
    There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



  8. #7
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    i really appreciate it

    thanks for writing back to me it really helps me to hear what other people have to say when im really down. I feel like sometimes im ok but then there are times when I just break down. Today at work I talked to his sister and she told me that he said that he wished i could just get over him so I wouldnt have to feeol so bad all the time. that made me cry so bad because i guess it means that after 2 months he is over me and it just makes it so hard for me that he was able to just forget about me because of someone else. He does not realize that she lies to him and that she does not care for him the way she says he is blinded and stupid. I did everything for him and im sure she would not be with him if she knew the things that I knew. i put up with so much bull with him because i love him but im sure that if he told her some things or if she fopund out she would dump him in a heartbeat and then where would he be. he knows how much i love him and i dont think he realizes how much i did for him. she wont be there for him the same way. their relationship is bases on lies from both parts and he is gonna realize when she decides she is getting bored and dumps him that he never should have left me . I think Im torn between letting him go for good or waiting for them to break up and take him back because i know that if she hurts him that he will want me back. he even sai that he was afriad that he may want me back in the future and that i if he does i might actually be over him and not want him back. But I have been thinking maybe I shouldnt even if really do want him back. Should I let him back into my life knowing that he hurt me so bad. I know he loves me but is that enough. is loving someone enough especially when you can still love tham and hurt them at the same time. I keep thinking that im never gonna get through this. but then i think that maybe this time was needed for us to grow individually and that maybe if we both realize what it is without each other that we would get back together and be happier than before. Maybe we could both grow up and we would not fight. we could just be happy all the time as opposed to half of the time. I really love him and im not sure if i should give up or let him make his mistakes and come to realize how much we really do belong together.

  9. #8
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    I'm In The Same Situation

    My BF broke up with me after 5 1/2 years together. We started dating when we were twelve and now we are ninteen. He said he still loves me but that the situation isn't right. He is not leading a very good lifestyle right now and he doesn't want me to be apart of it. We broke up about eleven months ago but we kept sleeping together. Big mistake. He said he couldn't say no to me because he couldn't stand to see my face when he rejected me. Last week he decided that we could no longer do that because he said it was just wrong and he didn't want to lead me on. But he had this girl who he met after we broke up and she confessed her feelings to him and he decided to date her. I feel like I am never going to be happy again.

  10. #9
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    You will be happy again even though it does not seem so now

    I know you will be happy again. It has been almost three months and he says he still wants to be friends but he is a jerk to me everytime we see each other. So now im just like whatever. if he wants to be with me he'll realize it and I cant take him back because now that i have lived without him for a while i am finally able to not think about him every second and i am so much happier than i was when we were together because i dont have to worry about doing something and what he will think about it. I dont have to sit at home everyday waiting for him to come over. I still think about us and it makes me sad but at least i can not be sad all the time and i am sad less because there is no one there to make me feel totally lost if he is upset with me. I dont need him to be happy with me to be happy with myself anymore. Trust me it gets so much better. I love life so much more I have so many wondeful experiences from him and I have learned from so many bad ones. Im older and wiser and much happier. It will take time but you'll get there. It took me three months but i have come so far.

  11. #10
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    hey, I know just what u are going through! my bf and i just broke up after 10 months...but we had done everything together! we went on vacation and also talked about engagement! I go to a boarding school with him! and it just makes things extra hard, when we see each other...its true what the others are saying, WE need to find things that will occupy our time...i found a really sweet guy, that i have started to talk to, its not because i wanna get with some one else, so i can get over my ex, but my friends told me that the reason why im talking to him as much as i do, is because i am missing that attention from a guy that cares for me, and that just what this guy is doing, its like a rebound, just without any making out...
    its really hard to move on from someone that u love so much! we fought ALL the time but also like you, stayed together because we loved each other! he even went into my mail box and printed all the mail out that i had been writing with this guy! drove to my house and called me a nasty girl! he told me that he never wanted anything to do with me again! and that i should never contact him again! well i did! i cant just let him go after loving him so much as i do! but he rejected me hard! cherish the friendship u have with ur ex! I know how hard it must be for u to see that he is with another girl, but could he be using her as a rebound? since u guys still talk together, dose not mean that he does not love you, guys say so much STUPID things, just because they dont want to lose!
    My friends keep telling me that ill get over him, it just needs time, and i just find that so hard right now...but deep inside know it will!
    ur not the only one out in the world that has been through this!
    Take care! and u will recover from this break up!
    Remember dont go back to an ex, ur just gonna get hurt again! even though it might be nice for how long u might date! but one day u guys will see that its not right! and the break up will come again, so y out urself in a situation like that??

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