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Thread: My father died

  1. #1
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    My father died

    10 weeks ago i lost my father, my best friend, my life line. I have cryed everyday since, its getting worse, people say my dad is in a better place that he is a peice, i cannot beleive this as he lived his life for his family and how could he be happy away from the people who loved him most. I feel so scared, i feel i cannot live in this life without him and i dont want to. i love my father so much i calnt stand the empty feeling and pain. i dont know what to do.[b]

  2. #2
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    Bernadette,

    I am sorry to hear of your loss. I am going thrugh the same thing right now - my grandmother passed away nearly 11 months ago. She was diagnosed with cancer and within 1 month she was gone.

    It really hit me hard because when she began feeling unwell, i stayed with her for a whole month to help her and to keep her company, she confided in me her thoughts that she had cancer.

    I watched her deteriorate get better and then deteriorate. It was very hard.

    I really understand your pain, but keep talking to your father he is right there with you, what you buried is only his shell - he is right next to you and will never leave you.

    I know he would want you to get on with your life and i know people will have told you taht but take all the time you need. I am definately not done greiving, i can barely listen to her favourite songs without bursting into tears. I doesn't feel like nearly a year already and i still cant beleive i will never speak to her again.

    We have had people say "we all have to go" and things like that and i feel it is insenitive, but deep down i know its true.

    Just keep taking one day a time, keep talking to him and remember you wil meet again.

    If ever you need to talk dont hesitate.

    Keep strong xxx

  3. #3
    Member DiscipleOfChange's Avatar
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    Let me begin by saying that I am sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent is an waful thing which though tragic, happens to us all. While I have not yet felt the pain of losing a parent, I know it is a terrible thing. Depression and the feelings you are going through are quite common amongst individuals suffering the loss of a parent. Often times, people in your sitaution seek psychological help. I honestly don't know what I would do if my father died. He is in good health at 73, but...I can't even think or write about it.... although it may not provide much solace, Shakspeare may have some words to comfort you:

    'Tis sweet and commendable in your nature, Hamlet,
    To give these mourning duties to your father:
    But, you must know, your father lost a father;
    That father lost, lost his, and the survivor bound
    In filial obligation for some term
    To do obsequious sorrow:

    Again, I offer my condolences and suggest that you talk with someone about your feelings, whether it be a friend, a mental health professional or a man of god. It is important not to let these feelings overwhelm you.

    ~Mark

  4. #4
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    I know exactly how you feel. I lost my father when I was 11 years old, and in March my grandmother had a stomach ache and went to the hospital. They sent her home saying she had food poisoning and the next day my mom took her back and the day after that she was gone.

    its really hard but one day it does get better.

    I am a FIRM believer that my father is in a better place. His life was hell with having heart conditions... Im sure he misses us, he never got to see his children grow up, but he is in a better place.

    My grandma loved her family, so sometimes we feel like its torture for her to be without us.. but you know what? I think she is around...

    Your father is watching over you and he loves you. He wouldnt want you to be going through such a bad time. Dont you ever have dreams with him in them? He is with you. It will get better.

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  6. #5
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    I know how you feel. I lost my dad in may of this year. Its still very hard. Time can only help, and just remember that he's with you and can hear you and will always be with you and watching over you. If ya ever wanna talk feel free to pm me.
    Sorry for your lost

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    Bernadette,
    I too lost my father this year. Truthfully I feel him around me more now than when he was alive. I do have times when I miss him terribly though. I also keep his pictures around (really always did because he lived in a different state and I didn't see him often). He was the one person in this world who really loved me and I him.

    I feel like he's still protecting me. The cops were surprised I survived the car accident and said someone is watching out for me (it was probably dad). I also struggled a lot with suicidal thoughts following his death. And when I seriously thought about it I actually felt someone pinch my cheek and then had the thought "Get that thought out of your head!" Yes I've heard his voice in my head a few times, and thought I was flipping out. I will say your dad wants you to live on, find joy in your life, and be happy for him because he is at peace now.

    I do understand the emptiness and pain, it's like a piece of your heart has died with them. I also know that you can still talk to your dad like you did, his spirit is around you. You may not hear him as easily as you once did but you'll get signs that he's around. All you have to do is ask and he'll show you that he's still there if you need him. Perhaps look into a grief group, the local hospitals usually have them for free. It would really help you not feel so alone in this.
    "Reality is what won't go away when you stop believing in it."
    -Phillip K*

    "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
    -Carl Jung

  8. #7
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    Hey Bernadette,

    I lost my mom a month ago. I too feel EXTREMELY lonely and lost. Sort of like I've been stranded in the middle of the ocean with no paddle. I go to events, and do things that I SHOULD be sharing with my mom. But, I can't.

    I, personally, do not know if there is a heaven or not. It's something I have struggled with for a few years now. Too many inconsistancies. So, I'm not going to promise you that he's looking down. We don't know. However, I can promise that he would have wanted you to live your life.

    I can also promise that I am MORE than willing to listen. I knwo that chatting with people online, when I'm really down, helps to let me get my issues out and vent for a bit. So, if you EVER need to chat.. just IM me at AKTREZ@aol.com or AKTREZSWG@yahoo.com

    I'm almost ALWAYS around!!

  9. 09-19-2005, 07:52 PM

  10. #8

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    always and forevr my coach...my best friend

    Um hi my name is re im 14 years old and i lost my dad in january. he was my best friend. he helpd me with evrything and i cud tell him anything. i always feel sad and its been months. my mom doesnt undrstand i dont thnk. so im alone. i always act happy at school so ppl dont thnk i have a problem. he died jst a few months b4 i graduated from 8th grade. he wont b thr wen i get married to wlk me down the isle. he wont b there to cheer me on at my games. i actually quite softbll cuz i thought i did it jst becuz it was sumthing we did together. he was my coach. he wont b thr wen i graduate or to encourge me.... i miss you daddy i luv u.

  11. #9

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    Raining tears in Dublin

    I cam a cross a wonderful song from youtue. listen to the rylic. It is a daddy little song. search "raining tears in dublin" in youtube.

    Lyd

  12. #10
    I am very sorry for your loss i know u probably think of your father everyday and the things that u didnt get the chance to do together. I was 15 when my daddy passed away and i was so broken inside my friends didnt understand me. I could hear a song or something and be reminded of him and start crying i couldnt help it some times i would just break down and i would run to the bathroom to get a hold of myself there wasnt a day that passd hat i didnt thiml of him. Its been over a year now and im much better you can never get over something like this you just have to be strong and get through it. And do believe that ur father is in a better place bcause he is and he still watches over u
    Best of luck to u

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