depressed/dissatisfied...unsure of what to do.

[tiredandsad]

i'm not sure where to begin really...pretty much, i'm extremely shy and introverted, and i find that both of these character traits inhibit my general happiness and social life. i go to college pretty far away from home and i really have not found it that much easier to meet people (also because i haven't really found anyone i "click" with...at this rate, i'm not sure i ever will). last year (also my first year at school) was fun at times, but it was so vapid, i can't even begin to describe how much i regret some of the things i did. also, i wouldn't really say that i have any "true" friends here, which is really depressing. i do hang out with people some of the time, but i don't usually have someone to go eat with, talk to, etc. it honestly makes me want to cry just thinking about how bad things are. this past summer i can honestly say that i was generally satisfied with life...i was running every day, taking classes for credit, hanging out with friends, and working. now i'm back at school and it's a huge crash of emotions...i'm so dissatisfied with my life here. i feel like i should transfer but knowing me, i probably would have the same rotten luck with making friends there as well. another option would be staying here and just moving off campus, which would be completely and totally cutting myself off socially since the people i do hang out with would probably not want to put in the effort to keep in contact. i need some advice :z

[Cadence308]

I read your post and could relate so I had to respond. When I went away to a university that was out of state and 3 hours away from home and where I knew no one, it was really hard. I can honestly say that I didn't make a really good friend until I had been there for 2 years. Sure, I met people and hung out like you described, but nobody I really clicked with.

It was my 2nd summer at this university and I was taking summer classes and met someone in one of my major classes that summer and her and I just really clicked. We even had the same major and interests. We have been friends for 6 years now. She is still one of my closest friends.

My first year at this university, it was really hard and I had been thinking about changing schools, but I stuck it out. After my second year, things just started feeling more normal for me and where I was living seemed like home. Transferring to another school was out of the question at that point.

Now that I have lived in a few different places and been moving around a lot the last 2 years, I realize that things were hard for me when I first moved and started at university. That's just how it is. It's going to be hard anywhere that's new and different and where you are lonely. The first year is the hardest and some people are better at adapting to change than others. It takes me about 2 years to feel comfortable and part of that is because I am an introvert and it's hard for me to make really good friends.

I guarantee you, if you get out there, try to make friends in your classes, try to form study groups, get involved with groups on campus that share some of your interests, you will meet friends and things will just start to click for you. I promise you that if you transfer to another university that is far from home, where you know no one, have no friends, don't know your way around, you are going to face the same issues that you have already been facing, just in a different place.

If you have any questions or need to chat, feel free to PM me. Oh, yeah, after I got over the newness of being at university, I ended up finishing 2 degrees there and lived there for 7 years. After being in a few other places, I am getting ready to move back there because that's where my friends are and where I consider home to be. I'm homesick all over again! :P