Exactly how sex-driven is the male gender?

northernlights · 08-11-2005, 12:37 PM

Well, as some of you know, most of my friends at my summer program are guys. All right, more like all of them are guys. And by hanging around them, I've probably found out more about the male gender (and what they like to talk about) then I could ever want to know. And it has made me a little disappointed in the male gender.

One thing I don't understand is how much testoterone/sex/girls/all-that-good-stuff controls men. Some of my guy friends who are in long-term, very committed relationships with their girlfriends (who they are currently doing long distance with since our summer program is in Beijing) have hit on women in clubs like crazy. One of them even picked up a girl in a club and had sex with her three times that one night even though he had a girlfriend back in Germany, just because this girl happened to take all her clothes off in front of him.

So my question for all you good men out there...are (straight) men really that driven by sex and pretty women, or is there still hope for us ladies who would love to be in a committed relationship without having to worry that our boyfriends are cheating on us every night we're not with them?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, is it really possible for a guy to be friends with a girl he thinks is attractive and not want something more? Or because of sex-drive, will guys always have this little hope that something might happen with their gal-pal?

djedix · 08-11-2005, 12:50 PM

I'll say 85% of the guys who have an attractive girl as a friend probally one time or another want/wanted something more.

Not all men are driven by sex thou. I was in a relationship for an entire year where we never had sex, but you didnt see me out flirting with every single girl that moved. I didn't really care, she had issues and we were trying to take it slow... Alot of guys have the guts to just ask girls for hookups, i kinda think that's rude... then again if a girl asked me for that right now, i'd probally accept, well because im single...

When were like late teens, early 20s though we tend to go crazy about it, for whatever reason.. Status? i dunno... Yes we like it, but why do we obess so much about it? maybe it's just the animal in us?

RayKay · 08-11-2005, 12:55 PM

Not all men cheat. Not all women DON'T cheat.

Your friends who are in long term-"very" committed relationships honestly are not good examples of "committed" in the least bit.

Yes there are good men out there, many of them. My guess this is mostly your experience due to age, inexperience and whom you hang out with.

And yes, it is possible for that to happen. It all depends on the people, their relationship, their experiences. There is more to being "girlfriend material" than looks, sometimes people realize that no matter how good looking someone is, it takes more than that to be relationship material. That does not mean sex might not be on their mind sometimes, but a good friend respects you are not interested and keeps it in fantasy.

ComputerGuy · 08-11-2005, 12:56 PM

First off, not all guys are sex driven, and that guy that cheated on his g/f just cause some chick took her clothes off in front of him..sorry to say, is scum. I have never, and would never consider doing that...if I have a g/f I make a conscious effort to not even LOOK at other girls. And as far as sex goes, in my opinion, snuggling and cuddling up is far better.

As for friends with girls who are attractive...I had a friend in the place I used to live...we were very close and she was very attractive, however there was nothing more between it...we even joked about it and how wierd it would have been.

Not all guys are like that...but unfortunately a lot are.

Day_Walker · 08-11-2005, 01:13 PM

I think that you have been given a clear picture of how some people act when they are away from their significant other. This is not only limited to men but women do this as well. There are going to be people that arent trustworthy but it is your job to weed them out that way you know that they wont put themselves in situations where cheating can happen. I have known guys and girls with significant others who end up cheating when they go out. I think it all has to do with the person.

It would seem that people can and will act differently when they are away from their significant other but it all depends where you happen to draw the line.

I think at some point we as people are all driven to respond to sexuality in some way, the question is how far does it go?

The point is that certain people will cheat and you cannot stop them from cheating but you can see what kind of person they are and see if they are likely to cheat.

If a guy is attracted to a girl and they are friends most likely he has alterior motives, now she may never know this but what happens to be said between men is a different story.

hubman01 · 08-11-2005, 01:23 PM

I have never cheated on any of my ex-girlfriends. yes I am proud of that because there was more than one time I could have gotten some booty on the side.

I do have to say when I was 13-30 I was in a constant horney state. Cheat NO never but, I almost cracked one time. That is another story.

smallworld · 08-11-2005, 01:40 PM

It all depends on the guy and his values. The situation you're describing is like a disaster waiting to happen: lots of young, hormonally driven guys far from home and commited relationships surrounded by alcohol and easy girls. To be honest, I find it miraculous anyone resists temptation. But I know how you feel. I too was surprised and disappointed when one of my close guy friends went to China to immerse himself in the language and ended up cheating on his fiance. His story made me realize if a great guy like him is capable of cheating, anyone is.

Even so, I refuse to be cynical and condemn the entire male species for the actions of a few. Most of the guys I've been privileged to know are guys with good hearts who not only believe in the concepts of love, honor, and respect, but live by them in their daily interactions with others. Want to meet one of them? Ignore words. Trust actions. Look deeper...

Alabama · 08-11-2005, 01:47 PM

There are ways to supress a man's biological urges. And that is one reason I am single. I'm a nice guy and don't wish for sex. Yet because of surpressing my male urges, I remain passive. Not all men are driven by sex. Majority of men are, but there are nice guys out there. Just have patience. You'll find a nice guy. It's wierd, because I've heard women don't look for nice guys until their much older. So, all I guess I do is wait. I can do that. Also I have plenty of friends that are girls and I have no feelings, except for friendship, for them what so ever.

ShySoul · 08-12-2005, 12:37 AM

Men are idiots. Well, most men.

But there are many good guys who want a real committed relationship. Guys who would never dream of cheating or hurting someone. Guys who aren't looking for sex or appearance. Some guys are still gentlemen who believe in courting a lady and treating her with respect and class. They are out there, you'll find one.

Most of my friends have always been girls, and I've only had an interest in a select few. So its perfectly possible to keep a friendship with someone of the opposite sex with hormones getting in the way.

Shinobie · 08-12-2005, 09:14 AM

Well i still get those thougts but thats because we're so fricken overloaded with hormones.But ive learned to mostly control them and always tell my friends to shut up when they become perverted.Im the only person out of my friends that thinks this way cept for maybe one.Most men are usually perverted in the mind but iono.Where u have become disappointed with guys your age i have become disaapointed with girls my age.

08-11-2005, 12:37 PM	#1
northernlights Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 24 Posts: 218	Exactly how sex-driven is the male gender? Well, as some of you know, most of my friends at my summer program are guys. All right, more like all of them are guys. And by hanging around them, I've probably found out more about the male gender (and what they like to talk about) then I could ever want to know. And it has made me a little disappointed in the male gender. One thing I don't understand is how much testoterone/sex/girls/all-that-good-stuff controls men. Some of my guy friends who are in long-term, very committed relationships with their girlfriends (who they are currently doing long distance with since our summer program is in Beijing) have hit on women in clubs like crazy. One of them even picked up a girl in a club and had sex with her three times that one night even though he had a girlfriend back in Germany, just because this girl happened to take all her clothes off in front of him. So my question for all you good men out there...are (straight) men really that driven by sex and pretty women, or is there still hope for us ladies who would love to be in a committed relationship without having to worry that our boyfriends are cheating on us every night we're not with them? Oh, and while we're on the subject, is it really possible for a guy to be friends with a girl he thinks is attractive and not want something more? Or because of sex-drive, will guys always have this little hope that something might happen with their gal-pal?

08-11-2005, 12:50 PM	#2
djedix Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: NJ Age: 28 Posts: 342	I'll say 85% of the guys who have an attractive girl as a friend probally one time or another want/wanted something more. Not all men are driven by sex thou. I was in a relationship for an entire year where we never had sex, but you didnt see me out flirting with every single girl that moved. I didn't really care, she had issues and we were trying to take it slow... Alot of guys have the guts to just ask girls for hookups, i kinda think that's rude... then again if a girl asked me for that right now, i'd probally accept, well because im single... When were like late teens, early 20s though we tend to go crazy about it, for whatever reason.. Status? i dunno... Yes we like it, but why do we obess so much about it? maybe it's just the animal in us? __________________ "Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. "

08-11-2005, 12:55 PM	#3
RayKay Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Middle of Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 13,270	Not all men cheat. Not all women DON'T cheat. Your friends who are in long term-"very" committed relationships honestly are not good examples of "committed" in the least bit. Yes there are good men out there, many of them. My guess this is mostly your experience due to age, inexperience and whom you hang out with. And yes, it is possible for that to happen. It all depends on the people, their relationship, their experiences. There is more to being "girlfriend material" than looks, sometimes people realize that no matter how good looking someone is, it takes more than that to be relationship material. That does not mean sex might not be on their mind sometimes, but a good friend respects you are not interested and keeps it in fantasy. __________________ [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]<--- [COLOR=sienna]Carbun the Super-Bunny[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#556b2f][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]At the end of the day, how you imprinted on someones life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth and is what we are most proud of... [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- My Biggest Hero and Mentor: My Mum.[/SIZE][/I] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=orange][B]Il faut d'abord durer [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- Ernest Hemingway[/SIZE][/I]

08-11-2005, 12:56 PM	#4
ComputerGuy Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Geelong, Australia Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,524	First off, not all guys are sex driven, and that guy that cheated on his g/f just cause some chick took her clothes off in front of him..sorry to say, is scum. I have never, and would never consider doing that...if I have a g/f I make a conscious effort to not even LOOK at other girls. And as far as sex goes, in my opinion, snuggling and cuddling up is far better. As for friends with girls who are attractive...I had a friend in the place I used to live...we were very close and she was very attractive, however there was nothing more between it...we even joked about it and how wierd it would have been. Not all guys are like that...but unfortunately a lot are. __________________ Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive??? ('"\(o.O)/"') Free Hugs Campaign - http://youtube.com/watch?v=dkSVWKk1xqE - Do your bit!!!

08-11-2005, 01:13 PM	#5
Day_Walker Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 4,881	I think that you have been given a clear picture of how some people act when they are away from their significant other. This is not only limited to men but women do this as well. There are going to be people that arent trustworthy but it is your job to weed them out that way you know that they wont put themselves in situations where cheating can happen. I have known guys and girls with significant others who end up cheating when they go out. I think it all has to do with the person. It would seem that people can and will act differently when they are away from their significant other but it all depends where you happen to draw the line. I think at some point we as people are all driven to respond to sexuality in some way, the question is how far does it go? The point is that certain people will cheat and you cannot stop them from cheating but you can see what kind of person they are and see if they are likely to cheat. If a guy is attracted to a girl and they are friends most likely he has alterior motives, now she may never know this but what happens to be said between men is a different story. __________________ "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

08-11-2005, 01:23 PM	#6
hubman01 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: next to the diaper bin! lol Gender: Male Age: 37 Posts: 1,630	I have never cheated on any of my ex-girlfriends. yes I am proud of that because there was more than one time I could have gotten some booty on the side. I do have to say when I was 13-30 I was in a constant horney state. Cheat NO never but, I almost cracked one time. That is another story. __________________ Cogito, ergo sum -"I think therefore I am" -René Descartes

08-11-2005, 01:40 PM	#7
smallworld Offline Gold Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Orange County, CA Gender: Female Age: 39 Posts: 872	Re: Exactly how sex-driven is the male gender? It all depends on the guy and his values. The situation you're describing is like a disaster waiting to happen: lots of young, hormonally driven guys far from home and commited relationships surrounded by alcohol and easy girls. To be honest, I find it miraculous anyone resists temptation. But I know how you feel. I too was surprised and disappointed when one of my close guy friends went to China to immerse himself in the language and ended up cheating on his fiance. His story made me realize if a great guy like him is capable of cheating, anyone is. Even so, I refuse to be cynical and condemn the entire male species for the actions of a few. Most of the guys I've been privileged to know are guys with good hearts who not only believe in the concepts of love, honor, and respect, but live by them in their daily interactions with others. Want to meet one of them? Ignore words. Trust actions. Look deeper... __________________ "Sigh... I guess you're an adult now and know what you're doing." -- Smallworld's Mom 3.05.06

08-11-2005, 01:47 PM	#8
Alabama Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,407	There are ways to supress a man's biological urges. And that is one reason I am single. I'm a nice guy and don't wish for sex. Yet because of surpressing my male urges, I remain passive. Not all men are driven by sex. Majority of men are, but there are nice guys out there. Just have patience. You'll find a nice guy. It's wierd, because I've heard women don't look for nice guys until their much older. So, all I guess I do is wait. I can do that. Also I have plenty of friends that are girls and I have no feelings, except for friendship, for them what so ever. __________________ Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb. Sir Winston Churchill "If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won before you have started." ~ Marcus Garvey

08-12-2005, 12:37 AM	#9
ShySoul Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Where love guides our hearts and actions Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 6,135	Men are idiots. Well, most men. But there are many good guys who want a real committed relationship. Guys who would never dream of cheating or hurting someone. Guys who aren't looking for sex or appearance. Some guys are still gentlemen who believe in courting a lady and treating her with respect and class. They are out there, you'll find one. Most of my friends have always been girls, and I've only had an interest in a select few. So its perfectly possible to keep a friendship with someone of the opposite sex with hormones getting in the way. __________________ The ShySoul has recently been on a mission to share a banner of love, respect, compassion, honesty, and selfish giving with one another. If you believe in these things as well, please make them a part of your everyday lives. Quality is what counts in the end. The soul never dies. We all have a strength within us that no force can deny. Speak up for what is right and never let anyone silence you. Feel free to introduce yourself. http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=134460

08-12-2005, 09:14 AM	#10
Shinobie Offline Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: US Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 893	Well i still get those thougts but thats because we're so fricken overloaded with hormones.But ive learned to mostly control them and always tell my friends to shut up when they become perverted.Im the only person out of my friends that thinks this way cept for maybe one.Most men are usually perverted in the mind but iono.Where u have become disappointed with guys your age i have become disaapointed with girls my age. __________________ :/