Confused and between minds

EarthAngel21 · 08-05-2005, 03:16 AM

Hey everyone i recently came across this forum and i actually have a problem of my own that i'd very grateful for anyone's advice on. Well here is the deal. I am in a steady relationship with a guy and have been for about 4 to 5 yrs ( He treats me very well and i do feel like i truly love him).BUT I recently met this "other guy" from going out partying with my girlfriends whom i am very attracted to. Just to summarize things, we ended up getting close and we used to talk alot on the phone, he also started to visit me at work like every other day and he just seemed really cool. I know we were getting closer than we should have but for some strange reason i liked it. All in all we ended up getting very imtimate with each other mind you he was also in a steady relationship, but his was only for about a yr or so. After we were intimate a few times i kinda distanced myself from him cus i felt very guilty about what i did, we stopped seeing each other for a couple of months. I also stopped going out without my bf as often so as to avoid seeing him and well just to get closer to my bf again ( I think i needed that ) It sorta worked and did, but now all of a sudden since i went out recently with the girls a few times i am seeing this guy again and kinda want to get imtimate with him again, the thing is he is going overseas to study in like 1 month and i dunno how i'd feel after but i kinda really want to. He has no idea of this though cus i don't let guys know how i really feel about them that easily. Anwyays what i wanna know is if i should take the chance at risking my feelings and emotions and get with him again just this 1 last time or if i should just forget this guy and stick with my man. Please reply to this someone, i am in need of advice, time is ticking away.... thanks!

saltwatergirl · 08-05-2005, 03:40 AM

Apparently you are looking for someone to respond with something like "hey yah go for it, get one last hook-up in before the guy takes off, and do it all behind the back of that boyfriend that you "love" and have been with for 4-5 years"......

There is a word for girls who behave like this. Im sure you're familiar with it.

Salt

lisica · 08-05-2005, 03:42 AM

There is rarely such a thing as "1 last time". If you read some of the stories on this forum, you soon start realizing that. Even while he is overseas, there are possibilities to keep in touch, and he might also come back on vacation and/or permanently.

Also, you could see it as "1 last time with this guy" or "1 last time cheating on your bf". Because if you felt the temptation now with this guy, in the future other men might come along too.

You are not thinking very rationally because you are into this guy. That is why we are here, to help you think more rationally. In any case, it is not a good idea to get intimate with this guy in the next month. You say that "time is ticking away" but I hope for you it goes really fast so you don't get the chance to make any mistakes. I am not judging you at all, I only want to offer some advice.

That you are tempted to be intimate with another man indicates that something is missing in the relationship with your bf. That is the main thing you should be focussing on now. Try to find out what it is, what this other guy can give you that your bf is not giving you. Try to find out if you can solve that problem and decide if you want to stay together with your bf or not. In the mean time, keep away from this other guy at all cost!!

08-05-2005, 03:16 AM	#1
EarthAngel21 Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 22	Confused and between minds Hey everyone i recently came across this forum and i actually have a problem of my own that i'd very grateful for anyone's advice on. Well here is the deal. I am in a steady relationship with a guy and have been for about 4 to 5 yrs ( He treats me very well and i do feel like i truly love him).BUT I recently met this "other guy" from going out partying with my girlfriends whom i am very attracted to. Just to summarize things, we ended up getting close and we used to talk alot on the phone, he also started to visit me at work like every other day and he just seemed really cool. I know we were getting closer than we should have but for some strange reason i liked it. All in all we ended up getting very imtimate with each other mind you he was also in a steady relationship, but his was only for about a yr or so. After we were intimate a few times i kinda distanced myself from him cus i felt very guilty about what i did, we stopped seeing each other for a couple of months. I also stopped going out without my bf as often so as to avoid seeing him and well just to get closer to my bf again ( I think i needed that ) It sorta worked and did, but now all of a sudden since i went out recently with the girls a few times i am seeing this guy again and kinda want to get imtimate with him again, the thing is he is going overseas to study in like 1 month and i dunno how i'd feel after but i kinda really want to. He has no idea of this though cus i don't let guys know how i really feel about them that easily. Anwyays what i wanna know is if i should take the chance at risking my feelings and emotions and get with him again just this 1 last time or if i should just forget this guy and stick with my man. Please reply to this someone, i am in need of advice, time is ticking away.... thanks!

08-05-2005, 03:40 AM	#2
saltwatergirl Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Age: 41 Posts: 410	Apparently you are looking for someone to respond with something like "hey yah go for it, get one last hook-up in before the guy takes off, and do it all behind the back of that boyfriend that you "love" and have been with for 4-5 years"...... There is a word for girls who behave like this. Im sure you're familiar with it. Salt __________________ I used to miss him, but my aim is improving "Salt--YOU ARE AWESOME!"---Keefy1972 "Don't let your life get tangled up with mine, cause I'll just leave you, I can't take no clingin vine"--Mac Davis

08-05-2005, 03:42 AM	#3
lisica Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Europe Age: 33 Posts: 153	There is rarely such a thing as "1 last time". If you read some of the stories on this forum, you soon start realizing that. Even while he is overseas, there are possibilities to keep in touch, and he might also come back on vacation and/or permanently. Also, you could see it as "1 last time with this guy" or "1 last time cheating on your bf". Because if you felt the temptation now with this guy, in the future other men might come along too. You are not thinking very rationally because you are into this guy. That is why we are here, to help you think more rationally. In any case, it is not a good idea to get intimate with this guy in the next month. You say that "time is ticking away" but I hope for you it goes really fast so you don't get the chance to make any mistakes. I am not judging you at all, I only want to offer some advice. That you are tempted to be intimate with another man indicates that something is missing in the relationship with your bf. That is the main thing you should be focussing on now. Try to find out what it is, what this other guy can give you that your bf is not giving you. Try to find out if you can solve that problem and decide if you want to stay together with your bf or not. In the mean time, keep away from this other guy at all cost!!