What would you all do???

littleone22 · 08-01-2005, 11:33 AM

You guys have all given me some great advice.

I had just posted in relationships under, "Update, Not Good."
Basically, my verbally abusive boyfriend has now cheated on me. I found a condom wrapper by his bed, then a receipt for drinks that I obviously didn't accompany him to.

He denied knowing where the condom came from. He swore to me that he hasn't used one in a long time, since he has been with me. He said, "look around, do you see ANY signs another girl has been here." I didn't, but there was still a condom wrapper I hadn't seen before.

He told me the drink receipt finally was when he took his ex out on a Sunday night, after I LEFT HIS HOUSE, but that it was very innocent. They are just "buddies", she is seeing someone else. How convenient, a bar right by his house at 11:30 pm. He is either sleeping with someone else, and taking his ex out too, or, still occasionally sleeping, and taking his ex out to dinner.

Knowing this, is it worth even talking to him again??

We haven't talked since Sund, but I am so angry.

What would you all do?? I have never been cheated on before, and we have been together 2 years.

Should I ignore him and move on??

Ontario · 08-01-2005, 11:43 AM

Question for you. If he's abusive in any way--verbally or otherwise--why are you with him? Obviously, he doesn't respect you if he abuses you, and you really don't have to put up with it if you don't want to.

**BellaDonna** · 08-01-2005, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Should I ignore him and move on??

YES!

I thought you were ready to leave him after he was verbally abusive the last time and yelled and swore at you. Now if you had ANY DOUBT, this last incident should give you the answer.

Run, and and don't look back.

This guy is a jerk in so many ways. He has no respect for you at all. First the abuse, now the cheating.

Kick him to the curb! 2 years is too long- don't waste any more time on him. You deserve so much more.

BellaDonna

shes2smart · 08-01-2005, 11:59 AM

When I found out my ex was cheating on me, I was out the door so fast it was like watching the Road Runner on one of those old cartoons.

If someone will lie about something as big as having sex with someone else behind your back, they'll lie about anything. You cannot trust someone who lies on that scale.

No trust, no relationship.

littleone22 · 08-01-2005, 12:02 PM

I guess I know what I should do.
I wasn't going to talk to him for a while anyways, but I was wondering if cheating is forgiveable.
I guess I shall run like a roadrunner. =)

Thanks so much!

I need my butt kicked I guess.

DN · 08-01-2005, 12:04 PM

He's a cheater and a liar and abusive.

Not only that, he must think your driveway doesn't go all the way to the street if he believes you will fall for his lies - so he's also insulting your intelligence.

Tell him to find someone who will put up with him - because you won't.

hubman01 · 08-01-2005, 12:32 PM

If I were you I would let this fool go. You deserve to be treated better and he does not deserve you. Move on.

littleone22 · 08-01-2005, 01:59 PM

You are all such a great help.

He is making it so easy, because like a typical abuser, he makes it out like I am the one that should chill out, and he needs time from me.

He texts me last night at 12:30 am asking how I was. Didn't answer, and don't plan too.

I have to be strong and not let this creep get to me anymore. Its not even worth the sadness or grief. Im just angry.

saltwatergirl · 08-02-2005, 01:11 AM

You are doing great, kick him to the curb and please dont look back. As a matter of fact kick him across the street, around the corner, and down to the other curb. You REALLY don't believe the condom story, or the receipt story. they are both LIES and you KNOW THAT. Do not try to even attempt to believe a word he says from here on out. He is a liar, he is a cheater, and he's abusive. Consider this a blessing, he has done you a favor because you no longer have to waste another minute of your precious time on this loser.

Remember, he is only lying to himself, not you. He is hurting himself, not you. YOU are worth so much more, he is the idiot, not you.

WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM. DONT QUESTION THEM, DON'T DOUBT THEM. He has shown you who he is. He is a baldface LIAR and he CHEATED on you. Accept what he is and move on. FAST.

Good Riddance. Dont pick up the phone, dont respond to a text. No more wasted energy on this jerk. A new life awaits you, embrace it, and forget the past. Start living again, and in a very short time you will have no anger cause you flat won't care, you will wonder why you ever even stayed with this person. Especially when you meet someone who is soooo much better for you. As a matter of fact I believe that one day you will actually think of his antics and LAUGH at the idiocy that is this person

Salt

Maverick32x · 08-02-2005, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BellaDonna

Quote:

Should I ignore him and move on??

YES!

08-01-2005, 11:33 AM	#1
littleone22 Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 104	What would you all do??? You guys have all given me some great advice. I had just posted in relationships under, "Update, Not Good." Basically, my verbally abusive boyfriend has now cheated on me. I found a condom wrapper by his bed, then a receipt for drinks that I obviously didn't accompany him to. He denied knowing where the condom came from. He swore to me that he hasn't used one in a long time, since he has been with me. He said, "look around, do you see ANY signs another girl has been here." I didn't, but there was still a condom wrapper I hadn't seen before. He told me the drink receipt finally was when he took his ex out on a Sunday night, after I LEFT HIS HOUSE, but that it was very innocent. They are just "buddies", she is seeing someone else. How convenient, a bar right by his house at 11:30 pm. He is either sleeping with someone else, and taking his ex out too, or, still occasionally sleeping, and taking his ex out to dinner. Knowing this, is it worth even talking to him again?? We haven't talked since Sund, but I am so angry. What would you all do?? I have never been cheated on before, and we have been together 2 years. Should I ignore him and move on??

08-01-2005, 11:43 AM	#2
Ontario Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Unreal Tournament Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 90	Question for you. If he's abusive in any way--verbally or otherwise--why are you with him? Obviously, he doesn't respect you if he abuses you, and you really don't have to put up with it if you don't want to. __________________ I am a man of action. I sieze this moment. I choose now.

08-01-2005, 11:59 AM	#4
shes2smart Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: same world, different server Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 5,140	When I found out my ex was cheating on me, I was out the door so fast it was like watching the Road Runner on one of those old cartoons. If someone will lie about something as big as having sex with someone else behind your back, they'll lie about anything. You cannot trust someone who lies on that scale. No trust, no relationship. __________________ "But there's no use crying over every mistake You just keep on trying til you run out of cake"

08-01-2005, 12:04 PM	#6
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,439	He's a cheater and a liar and abusive. Not only that, he must think your driveway doesn't go all the way to the street if he believes you will fall for his lies - so he's also insulting your intelligence. Tell him to find someone who will put up with him - because you won't. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

08-01-2005, 12:32 PM	#7
hubman01 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: next to the diaper bin! lol Gender: Male Age: 37 Posts: 1,630	If I were you I would let this fool go. You deserve to be treated better and he does not deserve you. Move on. __________________ Cogito, ergo sum -"I think therefore I am" -René Descartes

08-01-2005, 12:02 PM	#5
littleone22 Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 104	I guess I know what I should do. I wasn't going to talk to him for a while anyways, but I was wondering if cheating is forgiveable. I guess I shall run like a roadrunner. =) Thanks so much! I need my butt kicked I guess.

08-01-2005, 01:59 PM	#8
littleone22 Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 104	You are all such a great help. He is making it so easy, because like a typical abuser, he makes it out like I am the one that should chill out, and he needs time from me. He texts me last night at 12:30 am asking how I was. Didn't answer, and don't plan too. I have to be strong and not let this creep get to me anymore. Its not even worth the sadness or grief. Im just angry.

08-02-2005, 01:11 AM	#9
saltwatergirl Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Age: 41 Posts: 410	You are doing great, kick him to the curb and please dont look back. As a matter of fact kick him across the street, around the corner, and down to the other curb. You REALLY don't believe the condom story, or the receipt story. they are both LIES and you KNOW THAT. Do not try to even attempt to believe a word he says from here on out. He is a liar, he is a cheater, and he's abusive. Consider this a blessing, he has done you a favor because you no longer have to waste another minute of your precious time on this loser. Remember, he is only lying to himself, not you. He is hurting himself, not you. YOU are worth so much more, he is the idiot, not you. WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM. DONT QUESTION THEM, DON'T DOUBT THEM. He has shown you who he is. He is a baldface LIAR and he CHEATED on you. Accept what he is and move on. FAST. Good Riddance. Dont pick up the phone, dont respond to a text. No more wasted energy on this jerk. A new life awaits you, embrace it, and forget the past. Start living again, and in a very short time you will have no anger cause you flat won't care, you will wonder why you ever even stayed with this person. Especially when you meet someone who is soooo much better for you. As a matter of fact I believe that one day you will actually think of his antics and LAUGH at the idiocy that is this person Salt __________________ I used to miss him, but my aim is improving "Salt--YOU ARE AWESOME!"---Keefy1972 "Don't let your life get tangled up with mine, cause I'll just leave you, I can't take no clingin vine"--Mac Davis