Seeking a mental health professional

snowgirl · 06-07-2005, 10:24 AM

Has anyone else had the same experiences I have? I have good health insurance. (It's a PPO). I need desperately the services of a psychiatrist for my husband. I have been trying to find one that will see us since....mid April. Seriously. I CANNOT get one to see us. I would actually like a few to pick from, since it's hard to find one that suits your needs, or so I am told. That is SO not an option for us, it seems.
I have a list to choose from, and have called and left messages, none of them ever call me back, and those that do are not taking new patients.
I am the one here that is in relatively good mental health, but I am about to lose it here. We need HELP. Why can't I find a doctor that will see my husband? Even a regular therapist. I have tried those, too, with limited success. The only one who would see us is "out of network" and that means it will cost us $500 upfront, (the deductible) plus $90 a session after the deductible is paid off.
This is very frustrating!

shes2smart · 06-07-2005, 11:20 AM

Welcome to the wonderful world of managed health care.

When you're making an initial appointment with a mental health professional, it's not uncommon to have a month-long wait. You can always take the appointment that's a month out and let the receptionist know you'd like a call if someone cancels before then. If you want to be a real pain in the butt (squeaky wheel gets the grease, after all) you can follow up with a call every week to see if there's been a cancellation. Now, once you start seeing someone, there's usually not a loooong wait for 2nd, 3rd and subsequent appointments.

I don't know why it's like this. I just know this is what I've always run into.

Something else you might want to try is talking to your primary care doc and asking for a referral. Your doc's golfing buddy/neighbor/relative might be a shrink....you never know. Most of all you have to stick with it, be stubborn as a mule, and don't sit around waiting for a call back. If it's an emergency (he's a threat to himself or others) you can probably get some emergency services through your local suicide prevention/crisis intervention line. Check your phone book for info.

I'm a little curious, though...if the counselor is for your husband, why are you making the appointment?

snowgirl · 06-07-2005, 11:37 AM

Thanks for the reply.
I am making the appointment because he would not do it on his own. I will not make him go, but recognize that he needs help. He would certainly not have the emotional energy to track down a doctor like this.
He obviously is depressed and has never been to a mental health professional because nobody ever helped him out with it. He is also afraid, he has sort of a phobia about them. He would never go if I wasn't there to hold his hand. Like I said, *I* am about to give up, it's been so difficult to get someone to return my calls.

shes2smart · 06-07-2005, 11:52 AM

I don't know how successful your efforts are going to be...and I'm not talking about getting an appointment...I'm talking about the process of going into therapy.

Maybe I'm reading too much into your brief description, but it sounds like this is your idea of what he needs to do and not so much his idea. If that's the case, I don't know that therapy is going to be that successful. It takes a reasonably motivated client because the client really does most of the work. The counselor (no matter what their degree status) is more or less just a guide. Therapy can be downright difficult, particularly when you're looking at stuff you don't want to look at.

Are you primarily looking for a psychiatrist from the aspect of being able to prescribe meds? If that's the case, maybe he'd be more comfortable going to his primary care doc initially. Your primary care doc can prescribe anti-depressants/anti-anxiety drugs, and also reccomend a counselor. (plus PPO's like it when you go through the primary doc first anyway) A combination of meds PLUS counseling is much more effective, but if he's not willing to put forth the effort to make counseling beneficial, being on meds is better than nothing, I guess.

snowgirl · 06-07-2005, 12:08 PM

It's complicated, as you may have gathered.

He has been on meds before, I made an appt for him to go to our primary care physician and he gave them to him. He was on them for about 6 months. They were apparently not appropriate for him, so I am guessing he needs to try something else. Or perhaps therapy will be enough. I don't think so though. He is intermittently suicidal, it has everything to do with his job and his past career choices. He definitely needs help. If I tell a doctor that he has been suicidal, they tell me to take him to a hospital ER. He is terrified of this, he is afraid they will hold him against his (and my) will. According to what I have read, it is possible in this state. I don't want to do that to him. It would not help and would only make him much worse.

He knows he needs therapy and will go willingly if "I make it easy for him".

shes2smart · 06-07-2005, 12:30 PM

You're in a tough situation. It's amazing how much work can mess up our heads. Last year, I left a job I'd been in for 20 years because the company that took over in 2000 tried to work me to death. I had a major meltdown in late 2003, was put on meds, went back to a counselor I'd seen before. Spring of 2004, I took another job 150 miles away, found another counselor here and saw her for another 6 months -- all because of work BS. The rest of my life outside of work was/is perfectly fine.

I didn't start feeling really good and "normal" again til last February sometime, so I think I've got some idea of what he's experiencing.

If you live in a larger city and his issues are all job/career related, you might want to try someone who does career coaching as opposed to straight mental-health therapy. The counselor I saw here is a licensed therapist, but she's primarily a career coach. I wound up at her office because I was considering a career change. Only down side of that is the career coaching sessions were not covered by insurance.

Good luck and hang in there.

Falucchi · 06-07-2005, 01:41 PM

What kind of meds has he been on?
Paxil-Prozac-wellbutrin- etc?
Did he recently stop "cold turkey" ?

snowgirl · 06-07-2005, 02:27 PM

He was on Wellbutrin XL, 300 mg/day for about 3 months.
He went to 150 mg/day for two weeks before quitting. The last dose he took was about 2 weeks ago.

His mood swings started getting REALLY bad (mostly due to us buying a house and moving) when he had been taking the 300 mg/day. He has had deep mood swings, but nothing like this. He was not suicidal till then. I did not see any change, nor did he, when he cut down and eventually stopped. It seems they have absolutely no effect on him whatsoever.
His job is contributing to things being very bad, as I mentioned before, and he talked of taking Wellbutrin again after he stops working in a couple of weeks and giving it a longer try. (with physician's help, of course). He likes the lack of side effects, but if it doesn't help his depression, he will have to try something else.
He self-medicated with St Johnswort for a few years and said that worked well for him. Then he met me and life got a lot more stressful for him, I guess, and it didn't work anymore. It's hard not to feel guilty about that. I also mentioned that I am selling my house so he can stop working, too. I would not normally have done that.

Falucchi · 06-07-2005, 02:34 PM

People on antidepressants can develop an array of side effects, including anxiety, agitation, panic attacks, insomnia, irritability, hostility, impulsivity, akathisia (severe restlessness), hypomania, and mania that may make them suicidal when the dose either increases or decreases, that is whenever the dose changes.

Honey- these drugs -- and stopping cold turkey-- can make a person go over the bend-- it's very dangerous! That's why I asked if he'd been on/off drugs-- he could be suffering so horribly and not even know why.

shes2smart · 06-07-2005, 02:41 PM

I'm not a big fan of psychotropic meds, however, there are times when they are necessary.

Staring into the abyss at the end of 2003, I could literally feel something "not right" in my brain. I wasn't suicidal, but something was horribly wrong. 8 months on Lexapro (10mg/day) along with counseling to address the underlying problem (all work related) and a doctor supervised taper off got me back on track.

Meds are not the answer, but they can be a useful tool when one has veered off into some scary mental territory. I had a few symptoms while on the Lexapro, but they were a small price to pay for the benefits of being on the meds at that time.

06-07-2005, 10:24 AM	#1
snowgirl Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 249	Seeking a mental health professional Has anyone else had the same experiences I have? I have good health insurance. (It's a PPO). I need desperately the services of a psychiatrist for my husband. I have been trying to find one that will see us since....mid April. Seriously. I CANNOT get one to see us. I would actually like a few to pick from, since it's hard to find one that suits your needs, or so I am told. That is SO not an option for us, it seems. I have a list to choose from, and have called and left messages, none of them ever call me back, and those that do are not taking new patients. I am the one here that is in relatively good mental health, but I am about to lose it here. We need HELP. Why can't I find a doctor that will see my husband? Even a regular therapist. I have tried those, too, with limited success. The only one who would see us is "out of network" and that means it will cost us $500 upfront, (the deductible) plus $90 a session after the deductible is paid off. This is very frustrating!

06-07-2005, 11:20 AM	#2
shes2smart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: same world, different server Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 5,137	Welcome to the wonderful world of managed health care. When you're making an initial appointment with a mental health professional, it's not uncommon to have a month-long wait. You can always take the appointment that's a month out and let the receptionist know you'd like a call if someone cancels before then. If you want to be a real pain in the butt (squeaky wheel gets the grease, after all) you can follow up with a call every week to see if there's been a cancellation. Now, once you start seeing someone, there's usually not a loooong wait for 2nd, 3rd and subsequent appointments. I don't know why it's like this. I just know this is what I've always run into. Something else you might want to try is talking to your primary care doc and asking for a referral. Your doc's golfing buddy/neighbor/relative might be a shrink....you never know. Most of all you have to stick with it, be stubborn as a mule, and don't sit around waiting for a call back. If it's an emergency (he's a threat to himself or others) you can probably get some emergency services through your local suicide prevention/crisis intervention line. Check your phone book for info. I'm a little curious, though...if the counselor is for your husband, why are you making the appointment? __________________ "But there's no use crying over every mistake You just keep on trying til you run out of cake"

06-07-2005, 11:52 AM	#4
shes2smart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: same world, different server Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 5,137	I don't know how successful your efforts are going to be...and I'm not talking about getting an appointment...I'm talking about the process of going into therapy. Maybe I'm reading too much into your brief description, but it sounds like this is your idea of what he needs to do and not so much his idea. If that's the case, I don't know that therapy is going to be that successful. It takes a reasonably motivated client because the client really does most of the work. The counselor (no matter what their degree status) is more or less just a guide. Therapy can be downright difficult, particularly when you're looking at stuff you don't want to look at. Are you primarily looking for a psychiatrist from the aspect of being able to prescribe meds? If that's the case, maybe he'd be more comfortable going to his primary care doc initially. Your primary care doc can prescribe anti-depressants/anti-anxiety drugs, and also reccomend a counselor. (plus PPO's like it when you go through the primary doc first anyway) A combination of meds PLUS counseling is much more effective, but if he's not willing to put forth the effort to make counseling beneficial, being on meds is better than nothing, I guess. __________________ "But there's no use crying over every mistake You just keep on trying til you run out of cake"

06-07-2005, 12:30 PM	#6
shes2smart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: same world, different server Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 5,137	You're in a tough situation. It's amazing how much work can mess up our heads. Last year, I left a job I'd been in for 20 years because the company that took over in 2000 tried to work me to death. I had a major meltdown in late 2003, was put on meds, went back to a counselor I'd seen before. Spring of 2004, I took another job 150 miles away, found another counselor here and saw her for another 6 months -- all because of work BS. The rest of my life outside of work was/is perfectly fine. I didn't start feeling really good and "normal" again til last February sometime, so I think I've got some idea of what he's experiencing. If you live in a larger city and his issues are all job/career related, you might want to try someone who does career coaching as opposed to straight mental-health therapy. The counselor I saw here is a licensed therapist, but she's primarily a career coach. I wound up at her office because I was considering a career change. Only down side of that is the career coaching sessions were not covered by insurance. Good luck and hang in there. __________________ "But there's no use crying over every mistake You just keep on trying til you run out of cake"

06-07-2005, 01:41 PM	#7
Falucchi Offline Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 261	What kind of meds has he been on? Paxil-Prozac-wellbutrin- etc? Did he recently stop "cold turkey" ? __________________ ~Don't give away your Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, these are your unalienable Rights.~

06-07-2005, 11:37 AM	#3
snowgirl Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 249	Thanks for the reply. I am making the appointment because he would not do it on his own. I will not make him go, but recognize that he needs help. He would certainly not have the emotional energy to track down a doctor like this. He obviously is depressed and has never been to a mental health professional because nobody ever helped him out with it. He is also afraid, he has sort of a phobia about them. He would never go if I wasn't there to hold his hand. Like I said, I am about to give up, it's been so difficult to get someone to return my calls.

06-07-2005, 12:08 PM	#5
snowgirl Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 249	It's complicated, as you may have gathered. He has been on meds before, I made an appt for him to go to our primary care physician and he gave them to him. He was on them for about 6 months. They were apparently not appropriate for him, so I am guessing he needs to try something else. Or perhaps therapy will be enough. I don't think so though. He is intermittently suicidal, it has everything to do with his job and his past career choices. He definitely needs help. If I tell a doctor that he has been suicidal, they tell me to take him to a hospital ER. He is terrified of this, he is afraid they will hold him against his (and my) will. According to what I have read, it is possible in this state. I don't want to do that to him. It would not help and would only make him much worse. He knows he needs therapy and will go willingly if "I make it easy for him".

06-07-2005, 02:27 PM	#8
snowgirl Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 249	He was on Wellbutrin XL, 300 mg/day for about 3 months. He went to 150 mg/day for two weeks before quitting. The last dose he took was about 2 weeks ago. His mood swings started getting REALLY bad (mostly due to us buying a house and moving) when he had been taking the 300 mg/day. He has had deep mood swings, but nothing like this. He was not suicidal till then. I did not see any change, nor did he, when he cut down and eventually stopped. It seems they have absolutely no effect on him whatsoever. His job is contributing to things being very bad, as I mentioned before, and he talked of taking Wellbutrin again after he stops working in a couple of weeks and giving it a longer try. (with physician's help, of course). He likes the lack of side effects, but if it doesn't help his depression, he will have to try something else. He self-medicated with St Johnswort for a few years and said that worked well for him. Then he met me and life got a lot more stressful for him, I guess, and it didn't work anymore. It's hard not to feel guilty about that. I also mentioned that I am selling my house so he can stop working, too. I would not normally have done that.

06-07-2005, 02:34 PM	#9
Falucchi Offline Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 261	People on antidepressants can develop an array of side effects, including anxiety, agitation, panic attacks, insomnia, irritability, hostility, impulsivity, akathisia (severe restlessness), hypomania, and mania that may make them suicidal when the dose either increases or decreases, that is whenever the dose changes. Honey- these drugs -- and stopping cold turkey-- can make a person go over the bend-- it's very dangerous! That's why I asked if he'd been on/off drugs-- he could be suffering so horribly and not even know why. __________________ ~Don't give away your Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, these are your unalienable Rights.~

06-07-2005, 02:41 PM	#10
shes2smart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: same world, different server Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 5,137	I'm not a big fan of psychotropic meds, however, there are times when they are necessary. Staring into the abyss at the end of 2003, I could literally feel something "not right" in my brain. I wasn't suicidal, but something was horribly wrong. 8 months on Lexapro (10mg/day) along with counseling to address the underlying problem (all work related) and a doctor supervised taper off got me back on track. Meds are not the answer, but they can be a useful tool when one has veered off into some scary mental territory. I had a few symptoms while on the Lexapro, but they were a small price to pay for the benefits of being on the meds at that time. __________________ "But there's no use crying over every mistake You just keep on trying til you run out of cake"