HPV question

Hey All,

Not sure whats gonna happen but I could use some words of advice.

I've been dating a guy I really like, he's 23. I'm 28. He's not had much sexual experience because of growing up in a strict religious family. He was finally able to breakaway from that. Anyway, we started dating and I had to tell him I have HPV, the std because I care about him and didn't want to be intimate with him without him knowing. He said he didn't care and we had sex, with condom of course. But I told him I want him to do research and stuff. Well he did some research and now is thinknig he doesn't want to have sex and thinking he can't go down on me.

Will I ever be able to have a guy go down on me again? Oh this is so depressing.

I really like this guy but i also don't want him to get HPV, and then its something he has to deal with for the rest of his life, like I unfortunately do.

I need a support group and more knowledge.

Am I doomed to only date guys that have the same std as me from now on?

aaahhh

THanks!!

HPV is VERY common among people who are sexually active. There are many many variations of it. Some forms of it can increase risk of cervical cancer or lead to it without regular pap smears, others can cause genital warts, but most have little or no symptoms. Often depending on strain it is not even something that would affect men (but some would, like the genital warts strains, etc) but he could transfer it to future partners.

I guarantee hundreds of thousands have it without knowing as they have never gotten tested. It is only more so lately people have become more aware of it.

Talk to him about the risks for him concerning HPV (depending on strain the risks vary). If he is still concerned, there are still ways to protect yourself, even with oral (dental dams etc).

Thank you RayKay.

I have the gential warts kind and they are in my vagina and one by my anus. But you bring up a good point, he may have HPV also but he doesn't have genital warts and has only had 2 partners. I'm his first partner that he actually cared about. I have a feeling he wants to end things because of this scenario and it sucks but I do understand.

A dental dam, really? That seems awful, like giving head witha condom on, very little sensation but guess I'll try it before I knock it.

Thanks for your reply.

Thank you RayKay.

I have the gential warts kind and they are in my vagina and one by my anus. But you bring up a good point, he may have HPV also but he doesn't have genital warts and has only had 2 partners. I'm his first partner that he actually cared about. I have a feeling he wants to end things because of this scenario and it sucks but I do understand.

A dental dam, really? That seems awful, like giving head witha condom on, very little sensation but guess I'll try it before I knock it.

Thanks for your reply.

I have never used a dam either, but it is often recommended by doctors to reduce risk of STI's.

And due to the warts, you need to take care to use condoms all the time to prevent infecting someone else.

HPV is extremely common and hopefully you were treated which I am sure you were. Men rarely have any symptoms or any negative effects from it except for the fact that they can spread it to women. As long as you are treating yourself and getting them removed you should be fine, and so should he. There are a ton of websites you can research on it but I wouldn't stress about it to much. Don't worry his pee pee won't fall off if he ends up getting it.

I came accross your post accidentally, searching for something else, and I just had to respond. HPV is not incurable. Dead serious. It's been around forever. It is said to be incurable becasue we cannot yet cure a virus, just like we cannot cure the common cold. The virus stays stricly in the tissues. Which means, as soon as your doc is able to get all the right tissue, and deep enough, it will be gone. Period. In many people it goes away by itself after a time.

I realize this sounds insane becasue the medial community has been telling us lately that it is forvever. It isn't. No more than a wart on someone's hand is forever. It's the same group of viruses that have been around forever. For some reason, since HIV, we are being frightened into thinking it's a permanent infection. It isn't. The medical community has decided to scare us with one more "incurable" disease. That's crap. A lot of doctor's don't even realize it because they don't think or use their own minds. It's really sad. Actually, it infuriates me that they choose to scare us with something that is generally harmless. It was always just warts until they felt this sick need to lable every virus with a 3 letter acronym.

Please, please do some research on your own. If your doctor is telling you that you cannot be cured, find another doctor. It was curable for years. That hasn't changed. Only our views of it have changed. Like I said before, this virus stays strictly in tissue. I doesn't enter the human body like, for example, herpes does. Once all of it has been removed from the tissues, it's gone. Period. Unless you catch it again. Make sure your doctor is treating it thoroughly. Sometimes it does take a while to get it all. Everyone is different. I absolutely seeth with anger when I think how we have turned this virus into something it just isn't and never was.

I have studied infectious disease for years. Please do some of your own research on this. Find a doctor with a mind of his own. A urologist might actually be a good bet. It may invlove refraining from sexual activity for a while until the infection is cleared.

Please learn what you can. Don't confuse the word "incurable" with something that can't be removed. It can. And please don't confuse facts and factoids. Unfortunately, many doctors don't even know the difference.

A lot of doctor's don't even realize it because they don't think or use their own minds.

Wow, I too am very skeptical of doctors, and always do my own research and tell many other people to do their own research. I've seen and heard of so many doctors making mistakes.

THe thing is Doctors are just people, they make many mistakes etc. They don't have the time to really learn all the different diseases etc. in depth.

THey also don't have much time to spend with each individual to really look at all the symptoms and options.

Beeg but you must understand that most people are not as smart as us, they can not so easily do their own research as we can. Most people will only trust what the doctor says and thats it.

Not trying to be arragont here or anything but that is what I determined from trying to help people.

Thanks for your help. I have being doiing research and have decided I'm going get the warts removed. Unfortunalty I'm not refraining from sex with my boyfriend. We always use condoms and my warts are only in my vagina. I think if i get the warts removed I'll feel btter about the whole situation. Am i being selfish to still be having sex with him when i still have the warts? I hope not. He goes back and forth on how he feels about it but usually seems okay with it.

I hope the removal isn't to painful or time consuming. I know I'll have to refrain from penetration sex during that time. thats gonna suck.

So hmm, guess thats all.

Thanks again.

So I'm so upset. I went to the gyno. today and she said due to the fact tht my vagina is on the small side it would be very difficlut to remove them and she was saying I probably shouldn't count on it. I'm so frustrated.

I wonder if there is a more natural way to remove them rather than lasering them off.

gosh life is hard sometimes and right now it is for me. wish i had someone to talk to who had been thru this and had a solution.

stella: start hitting the medical internet forums hard.. particularly forums about these kind of problems. You will probably be surprised with what you find.

Eddie500,

Can you recommend any in particular?

I'm Glad i wasn't younger having to deal wth this but I'm concerned the boy I'm in love with is gonna never wanna have sex or give me head and I will have to end things between us because I want those things.

Thanks

Don't really know off hand but, get google and other decent web searchers.

Just try to find dedicated medical forum somewhat related to that topic.. thereforeeee you can talk with people that know a lot.

But I'm not really sure if you will find anything either.