Religion strikes again!

Idelion · 04-12-2005, 11:05 PM

I guess this has been discussed many times here, but I needed to get other peoples opinion. First of all, I'm 20 years old, and I'm fine with my spirituality, I've been through some trouble with it, but if I hadn't gone through all that I wouldn't be where I am right now. I believe in God completely, I respect every religion, I believe that if a person finds spiritual peace in any way, then it's fine. 'Cause everyone is different. Well, the girl I was with is a Christian, but when I met her she still went to church, but not a lot because of some trouble in the church caused by some people. From the start, way before we were together, I told her what I believed in, and how. She said it was fine, and I was fine with her believes and the way she believed them. So we started going out, and it was amazing! Every mistake I made in past relationships helped me a lot, since I wasn't doing any of them. We didn't argue or anything, never, it really was that good, in almost every phone conversation we laughed. And when we saw each other we forgot about everything else, and just had fun. So she started to got church again like she used to way before she met me. And I was fine with it, if that's something that made her happy, then I would support her. Then two days after she started going, she came back from church at night and called me, but she was weird, she sound so weird. Talking different, I noticed it right away, but I kept it to myself because I thought that maybe I was exagerating. But then I asked was wrong, and she slowly started crying, and well, after some more crying and asking she told me that she couldn't be with me because I prevent her from realizing her dreams and that I don't share her thoughts on going to church (which I was willing to go with her) in a regular manner. Well, I just couldn't believe it! She told me that I was the best boy that ever treated her, and she knew that the only thing I wanted to have with her was a happy life and make her happy in the process, simple. But apparently that wasn't enough, oh no! So two day after that we discussed why, and me upset because this simply isn't fair, we talked really direct and threw everything in the table, and after some talking and crying we started to talk like we were gf and bf again, she said that her desicion wasn't final, and of course that gave me hope, and she said that she was coming to a town near mine for a religious concert with a girlfriend of hers. So ok, everything was ok. Then that day came, I she said that she would be calling me when she left for the concert. I waited and waited, but she never called, so I called her, and she was already getting ready for the concert, and I calmly asked why didn't she call me, she said she was sorry. I said don't worry about it, I just wanted to see you so we could talk in person. Inmediately she took it the wrong way and said that she didn't come here to talk about what happened, I said that I wasn't gonna talk about again, but then she started having doubts about seeing me and finally said no. I was like, what?! But how did you thought I was gonna react when I saw you? She said that sad, and I asked then why did you tell me about you coming here and wanting to see me? She said she didn't know, and that seeing would made her feel weird. I could be it! So the next day I thought that maybe I wasn't giving her the space she wanted so I called her and told her, she said ok. So right now, 3 days after I called her about giving her space, I'm still waiting for her call, depressed. This was the best relationship I ever had! My family and her family were really supportive. Just in case, she is 19.

What should I do, should I wait or is it hopeless?
Any opinions on my situation, please, they will be very welcomed!

mwint21 · 04-13-2005, 05:33 AM

Gday mate. I had something similar, just that the relationship wasn't going as well as ur has/d. In my case she expected more from me and i was giving her love, a sense of belonging, we went out at least twice a week but she wasn't satisfied apparently. In the end i was sick of her bickering and i broke it up. If she is as good as u say she is then wait. Call her if u think its right. She probably needs some time to think things thru. If ur waiting for more than a week call her up and ask her out or something. resolve it over dinner or something. if u still think that she is acting strange or dishonest to you gently back away from her. See less of each other until she makes up her mind. Well theres my advice. Choose whether or not u want to follow it.

Good luck m8.

Idelion · 04-13-2005, 08:56 AM

Thanks for the advice! That's exactly what I'm doing, waiting, giving her time, because the relationship we had is really worth fighting for. But while I'm waiting I still think about her, all the time! I think how is she doing at the moment, what is she doing, is she thinking about me? Stuff like that. I talked to her over msn two nights ago, she seemed fine, but that gave an impression that she's forgotten about me, that she forgot that I'm still waiting for her. I don't know, maybe I'm just exagerating, I hope. My friends really give a lot of support in this, they still can't believe this happened, because they too saw that it was a strong relationship. Anyway, I won't jump into conclusions or anything, just wait, I always pray to God that she's alright and that I only wanted/want the best for her (although he knows that). I just can't believe how religion can destroy something so beautiful, really, it divides anyone (my opinion), God does not want that, plain and simple, He knows my intentions are good. Thanks again, had to spill my guts.

Idelion · 04-13-2005, 10:44 AM

Now, is she examining me? You know, by not calling me. And if she is, just what exactly is she looking for? I ask this because I haven't been on that side of a break up, only the dumpee.

someguy69 · 04-19-2005, 01:10 PM

Avoid overly religious people like the plague

04-12-2005, 11:05 PM	#1
Idelion Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 22	Religion strikes again! I guess this has been discussed many times here, but I needed to get other peoples opinion. First of all, I'm 20 years old, and I'm fine with my spirituality, I've been through some trouble with it, but if I hadn't gone through all that I wouldn't be where I am right now. I believe in God completely, I respect every religion, I believe that if a person finds spiritual peace in any way, then it's fine. 'Cause everyone is different. Well, the girl I was with is a Christian, but when I met her she still went to church, but not a lot because of some trouble in the church caused by some people. From the start, way before we were together, I told her what I believed in, and how. She said it was fine, and I was fine with her believes and the way she believed them. So we started going out, and it was amazing! Every mistake I made in past relationships helped me a lot, since I wasn't doing any of them. We didn't argue or anything, never, it really was that good, in almost every phone conversation we laughed. And when we saw each other we forgot about everything else, and just had fun. So she started to got church again like she used to way before she met me. And I was fine with it, if that's something that made her happy, then I would support her. Then two days after she started going, she came back from church at night and called me, but she was weird, she sound so weird. Talking different, I noticed it right away, but I kept it to myself because I thought that maybe I was exagerating. But then I asked was wrong, and she slowly started crying, and well, after some more crying and asking she told me that she couldn't be with me because I prevent her from realizing her dreams and that I don't share her thoughts on going to church (which I was willing to go with her) in a regular manner. Well, I just couldn't believe it! She told me that I was the best boy that ever treated her, and she knew that the only thing I wanted to have with her was a happy life and make her happy in the process, simple. But apparently that wasn't enough, oh no! So two day after that we discussed why, and me upset because this simply isn't fair, we talked really direct and threw everything in the table, and after some talking and crying we started to talk like we were gf and bf again, she said that her desicion wasn't final, and of course that gave me hope, and she said that she was coming to a town near mine for a religious concert with a girlfriend of hers. So ok, everything was ok. Then that day came, I she said that she would be calling me when she left for the concert. I waited and waited, but she never called, so I called her, and she was already getting ready for the concert, and I calmly asked why didn't she call me, she said she was sorry. I said don't worry about it, I just wanted to see you so we could talk in person. Inmediately she took it the wrong way and said that she didn't come here to talk about what happened, I said that I wasn't gonna talk about again, but then she started having doubts about seeing me and finally said no. I was like, what?! But how did you thought I was gonna react when I saw you? She said that sad, and I asked then why did you tell me about you coming here and wanting to see me? She said she didn't know, and that seeing would made her feel weird. I could be it! So the next day I thought that maybe I wasn't giving her the space she wanted so I called her and told her, she said ok. So right now, 3 days after I called her about giving her space, I'm still waiting for her call, depressed. This was the best relationship I ever had! My family and her family were really supportive. Just in case, she is 19. What should I do, should I wait or is it hopeless? Any opinions on my situation, please, they will be very welcomed!

04-13-2005, 05:33 AM	#2
mwint21 Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Age: 19 Posts: 4	Gday mate. I had something similar, just that the relationship wasn't going as well as ur has/d. In my case she expected more from me and i was giving her love, a sense of belonging, we went out at least twice a week but she wasn't satisfied apparently. In the end i was sick of her bickering and i broke it up. If she is as good as u say she is then wait. Call her if u think its right. She probably needs some time to think things thru. If ur waiting for more than a week call her up and ask her out or something. resolve it over dinner or something. if u still think that she is acting strange or dishonest to you gently back away from her. See less of each other until she makes up her mind. Well theres my advice. Choose whether or not u want to follow it. Good luck m8.

04-13-2005, 08:56 AM	#3
Idelion Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 22	Thanks for the advice! That's exactly what I'm doing, waiting, giving her time, because the relationship we had is really worth fighting for. But while I'm waiting I still think about her, all the time! I think how is she doing at the moment, what is she doing, is she thinking about me? Stuff like that. I talked to her over msn two nights ago, she seemed fine, but that gave an impression that she's forgotten about me, that she forgot that I'm still waiting for her. I don't know, maybe I'm just exagerating, I hope. My friends really give a lot of support in this, they still can't believe this happened, because they too saw that it was a strong relationship. Anyway, I won't jump into conclusions or anything, just wait, I always pray to God that she's alright and that I only wanted/want the best for her (although he knows that). I just can't believe how religion can destroy something so beautiful, really, it divides anyone (my opinion), God does not want that, plain and simple, He knows my intentions are good. Thanks again, had to spill my guts.

04-13-2005, 10:44 AM	#4
Idelion Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 22	Now, is she examining me? You know, by not calling me. And if she is, just what exactly is she looking for? I ask this because I haven't been on that side of a break up, only the dumpee.

04-19-2005, 01:10 PM	#5
someguy69 Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Age: 37 Posts: 271	Avoid overly religious people like the plague