I am his boss!!

deepseahag · 04-12-2005, 08:23 PM

I am a 39 year old Executive Director and I have began a relationship with my Environmental Services Director who is 37. Our relationship started out as Friendship and has blossomed into something far more now. My company has no policy in place about dating in the workplace, but we would never let anyone else know about this.
Have we just made a really big mistake? We are both mature divorced adults and share the same interests and and aspirations.
Tell me what you think, I wouldn't want either one of our jobs to be in jeopardy.

DN · 04-12-2005, 08:27 PM

If there is no policy against it then you are in the clear as far as that is concerned. But you would be wise to keep the relationship quiet because of charges of favouritism and the like.

It could be most problematical if the relationship goes bad for some reason. You can no doubt work out why that would be.

If the relationship promises to be more permanent maybe the best solution is for one of you to get a job with another company. Easy to say and hard to do, I know, but it would simplify the relationship issues.

RayKay · 04-12-2005, 08:55 PM

If there is no company policy then I don't believe you will need to worry about being reprimanded or anything like that, but basic etiquette would warrant that you do continue to keeo the relationship quiet. This both makes it easier in the workplace in terms of people thinking that he may be favoured for certain things, as well as in the case that perhaps it does not work out, the gossip that can occur. You are both adults so I am sure can figure things out

deepseahag · 04-12-2005, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DN

If there is no policy against it then you are in the clear as far as that is concerned. But you would be wise to keep the relationship quiet because of charges of favouritism and the like.

It could be most problematical if the relationship goes bad for some reason. You can no doubt work out why that would be.

If the relationship promises to be more permanent maybe the best solution is for one of you to get a job with another company. Easy to say and hard to do, I know, but it would simplify the relationship issues.

Sn0man · 04-12-2005, 10:22 PM

You said it yourself: you're both mature adults and share the same interests and aspirations; there is no policy about dating in the workplace.
Doesn't sound to me like theres a problem there. I do have a question though; How closely do the two of you work together? Are you in different departments? If so, that really isn't a problem at all! Best to keep the relationship to yourselves for now...at least until you're sure its a serious and long term relationship. You don't need the work gossip, that's hell! Are you in a position to play favorites? That might pose a bit of a problem. I believe that if you play things as if nothing were going on, treat eachother professionally while at work and romantically on your own time, then you two should be just fine.

Best of luck!

04-12-2005, 08:23 PM	#1
deepseahag Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Age: 44 Posts: 2	I am his boss!! I am a 39 year old Executive Director and I have began a relationship with my Environmental Services Director who is 37. Our relationship started out as Friendship and has blossomed into something far more now. My company has no policy in place about dating in the workplace, but we would never let anyone else know about this. Have we just made a really big mistake? We are both mature divorced adults and share the same interests and and aspirations. Tell me what you think, I wouldn't want either one of our jobs to be in jeopardy. __________________ DeepeaHag

04-12-2005, 08:27 PM	#2
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,441	If there is no policy against it then you are in the clear as far as that is concerned. But you would be wise to keep the relationship quiet because of charges of favouritism and the like. It could be most problematical if the relationship goes bad for some reason. You can no doubt work out why that would be. If the relationship promises to be more permanent maybe the best solution is for one of you to get a job with another company. Easy to say and hard to do, I know, but it would simplify the relationship issues. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

04-12-2005, 08:55 PM	#3
RayKay Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Middle of Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 13,270	If there is no company policy then I don't believe you will need to worry about being reprimanded or anything like that, but basic etiquette would warrant that you do continue to keeo the relationship quiet. This both makes it easier in the workplace in terms of people thinking that he may be favoured for certain things, as well as in the case that perhaps it does not work out, the gossip that can occur. You are both adults so I am sure can figure things out __________________ [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]<--- [COLOR=sienna]Carbun the Super-Bunny[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/FONT] [B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#556b2f][/COLOR][/FONT][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=darkolivegreen][B]At the end of the day, how you imprinted on someones life and heart is the only true mark any of us leave on this earth and is what we are most proud of... [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- My Biggest Hero and Mentor: My Mum.[/SIZE][/I] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=orange][B]Il faut d'abord durer [/B][/COLOR][/FONT][I][SIZE=1]- Ernest Hemingway[/SIZE][/I]

04-12-2005, 10:22 PM	#5
Sn0man Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: BC Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 2,163	You said it yourself: you're both mature adults and share the same interests and aspirations; there is no policy about dating in the workplace. Doesn't sound to me like theres a problem there. I do have a question though; How closely do the two of you work together? Are you in different departments? If so, that really isn't a problem at all! Best to keep the relationship to yourselves for now...at least until you're sure its a serious and long term relationship. You don't need the work gossip, that's hell! Are you in a position to play favorites? That might pose a bit of a problem. I believe that if you play things as if nothing were going on, treat eachother professionally while at work and romantically on your own time, then you two should be just fine. Best of luck! __________________ I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It's hitting below the intellect. If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.