Accommodating men + women = ...Nothing?

CG · 03-28-2005, 10:07 AM

I think this formula is very much true, women cannot stand
accommodating men in the very first stages of dating.
For example: if he eagerly agrees to see the movie she wants,
if he eagerly agrees to change, i.e accomodate his schedule to please her etc.

Women, why do you dislike accomodating men (in the begining of dating)? It seems to me that it is a good feature, he want to be please you, but it evokes some totally different women's reaction...rejection.
Why is that?

Ydas · 03-28-2005, 10:25 AM

women want a man to come in and slap them around and tell them where they're going!

stargazer25 · 03-28-2005, 11:34 AM

I wouldn't have a problem with it. HOWEVER, I have been called "accomidating"...not quite to the extent that you site....and they run for the hills. Guess we all want people to be somewhat of a challange.

DN · 03-28-2005, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CG

I think this formula is very much true, women cannot stand
accommodating men in the very first stages of dating.
For example: if he eagerly agrees to see the movie she wants,
if he eagerly agrees to change, i.e accomodate his schedule to please her etc.

Women, why do you dislike accomodating men (in the begining of dating)? It seems to me that it is a good feature, he want to be please you, but it evokes some totally different women's reaction...rejection.
Why is that?

I think it is not wise to categorise a whole gender into any specific form of behaviour. The theory breaks down in practice, because we are all individuals with different background, upbringing, wants, desires and motivations.

caramellabacix · 03-28-2005, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ydas

women want a man to come in and slap them around and tell them where they're going!

lmao for some reason i found that so funny.

i've never had a problem with "accommodating" a guy so i'm not really sure how to answer this. if you mean girls are indecisive, well we just are i guess lol.

SparklingKaren · 03-28-2005, 01:33 PM

its because women have an evolutionary instinct to be attracted to the men who can take care of them and their children. Instinctively, they are drawn toward men who take charge of situations.

Also, it may appear desperate if he's too willing to please. Its good to be polite, nice and not be a jerk, but if you appear to cater to her every whim, it could seem just a bit desperate.

sisterlynch · 03-28-2005, 02:03 PM

Maybe you are expecting too much. Dating is supposed to be fun, spontaneous, enjoyable, exciting. That is what women really go for, is romance.

In my Gender differences class a few years ago, a guy was telling us how he was taught to talk to women about buying a car, they were supposed to put on a false idea about what the car will do to them, how they will love cleaning it and making it feel special in their garage, of course I am paraphrasing what he said...

The point is that if this happens to you constantly, then you can't really ask all women to accomodate their ideas and behavior to you.

I think that you are confusing your terms...assimilation is what occurs in the beginning of a relationship, you need to move in on women slowly, so slowly that they don't realize that you are moving in....figuratively so to speak.

Accomodation is after the relationship is going to a while, then you can ask them to pick up your laundry or your child at day care...not in the very beginning, mon dieu, man!

CG · 03-28-2005, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ydas

women want a man to come in and slap them around and tell them where they're going!

It seems you are right. But why it is attractive being unaccomodating for women(at first)? I would not like if she is unaccomodating for example.
But I am a guy.

CG · 03-28-2005, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DN

I think it is not wise to categorise a whole gender into any specific form of behaviour. The theory breaks down in practice

Ok, I'll try to be more specific: relatively young women in the initial stage of dating are usually dislike accomodating men. Later on in a relationshiop it is usuallu gone or almost gone.

CG · 03-28-2005, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingKaren

it may appear desperate if he's too willing to please. Its good to be polite, nice and not be a jerk, but if you appear to cater to her every whim, it could seem just a bit desperate.

I guess you are right, at least I feel so.
I conclude men should be good "players" in terms of dating: they should not show any kind of "being too nice" or show any kind of despearation.
Thanks for the answer, you are good!

03-28-2005, 10:07 AM	#1
CG Offline Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 36	Accommodating men + women = ...Nothing? I think this formula is very much true, women cannot stand accommodating men in the very first stages of dating. For example: if he eagerly agrees to see the movie she wants, if he eagerly agrees to change, i.e accomodate his schedule to please her etc. Women, why do you dislike accomodating men (in the begining of dating)? It seems to me that it is a good feature, he want to be please you, but it evokes some totally different women's reaction...rejection. Why is that?

03-28-2005, 01:33 PM	#6
SparklingKaren Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Chicago, IL Age: 24 Posts: 58	its because women have an evolutionary instinct to be attracted to the men who can take care of them and their children. Instinctively, they are drawn toward men who take charge of situations. Also, it may appear desperate if he's too willing to please. Its good to be polite, nice and not be a jerk, but if you appear to cater to her every whim, it could seem just a bit desperate. __________________ Can't start a fire without a spark

03-28-2005, 02:03 PM	#7
sisterlynch Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: NorCal Posts: 2,187	CG Maybe you are expecting too much. Dating is supposed to be fun, spontaneous, enjoyable, exciting. That is what women really go for, is romance. In my Gender differences class a few years ago, a guy was telling us how he was taught to talk to women about buying a car, they were supposed to put on a false idea about what the car will do to them, how they will love cleaning it and making it feel special in their garage, of course I am paraphrasing what he said... The point is that if this happens to you constantly, then you can't really ask all women to accomodate their ideas and behavior to you. I think that you are confusing your terms...assimilation is what occurs in the beginning of a relationship, you need to move in on women slowly, so slowly that they don't realize that you are moving in....figuratively so to speak. Accomodation is after the relationship is going to a while, then you can ask them to pick up your laundry or your child at day care...not in the very beginning, mon dieu, man! __________________ Prepare for tomorrow, not tomorrow, but today.

03-28-2005, 10:25 AM	#2
Ydas Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 26	women want a man to come in and slap them around and tell them where they're going!

03-28-2005, 11:34 AM	#3
stargazer25 Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Age: 30 Posts: 59	I wouldn't have a problem with it. HOWEVER, I have been called "accomidating"...not quite to the extent that you site....and they run for the hills. Guess we all want people to be somewhat of a challange.