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  1. #1
    Member Michelle03's Avatar
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    i had a threesome with my boyfriend and his friend i feel...

    The other nite i was out drinking with my bf and his friends, we got really drunk and he has always joked around about me and him having a threesome with his best friend. Somehow we ended up deciding to do it. My boyfriend really wanted to it was his idea, i wasnt against it, but not all for it. I am experimental though so i figured id try it. So we started having a threesome and we fooled around, then i was having sex with his friend and i could tell it was bothering him even though he told me to do it. So i stopped cuz i was also uncomfortable. So we ended it, and he said everything was fine, it was his idea, hes sorry etc. But i am really worried that it will affect our relationship, which has been amazing so far, we are great together. Any ideas on what i should do, he said it wont affect anything, but im worried, any help would be great, im feeling really bad, ashamed and upset i guess, sorry this is so long....
    He who never loves never finds pain, but he who never loves has never really lived

  2. #2
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    I can see why he would be a little jeolous after seeing you have sex with his best friend.I think that's just a natural feeling.But like you said,it was all his idea.And your relationship shouldn't change b/c of that.Just try to sit down with him and have a nice heart to heart talk about all of this.Let him know that you love him very much and that you don't want anything to change.Hopefully,everything won't and you two will be just fine.
    sexygrl19

  3. #3
    Gold Member Kyoshiro Ogari's Avatar
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    Sorry this happened to you. As cruel as this may come out, he did ask for it. My opinion, threesomes are only good when the three people aren't involved with each other, so that emotions don't come into play afterwards and everyone can just have fun.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    If you are going to have a threesome with a significant other then both parties need to be mature enough to realize the implications of the emotions/feelings/thoughts that are going to occur afterwards. This could cause a problem in your relationship only time will tell. You have learned from this situtaion and now all you have to do is apply what you have learned.
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine

    "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

  5. #5
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    I think he's a dumb-ss for treating you that way, and frankly, he's not that wild about you at the moment because you did it.

    He may retreat into a "nice girls wouldn't" frame of mind (again, he suggested it, he has to live with it).

    Now he's brought onto himself a huge set of doubts, concerns, jealousies, etc., when his best friend is around.

  6. #6
    Member Michelle03's Avatar
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    I talked to him

    Thanks foe the advice guys, i just talked to him and he said he was worried that i would be mad at him and not want to be with him anymore. he said hes sorry for even getting me involved in that and hes not mad at me. I still feel akward but i hope that ereything will be alright. He said he doesnt want anything to change between us either so i hope it wont. But im still worriied that he will think differently of me or something. He said what happened is bothering him a little and he doesnt know why he started it and he should have stopped it. But i told him how i feeel and that i care about him very much and only want to be with him and he told me he feels the same and that everything will be fine. Does it sound like my relationship with him is gonna be alright???? Thanks for all the advice so far!!!!
    He who never loves never finds pain, but he who never loves has never really lived

  7. #7
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    Not to drive it too far home, especially since he asked for it, but chances are that a guy doesn't get the picture of his g/f having sex with his friend out of his mind too easily.

  8. #8
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    I completely agree with Cecelius. In my mind, noone can say they truly loves their significant other yet want to share something so intimate as sex with someone else.
    "Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently."

    Very few people can be totally ruthless. It isn't easy; it takes more strength than you might believe.

  9. #9
    Silver Member arwen's Avatar
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    Then I will have to agree with both Cecelius and Sn0wman. I can understand you feel totally weird about this.

    It makes me wonder why he wanted you to have this menage a trois; I suppose most guys would want such a thing with another girl, not another boy? It makes me think that somehow, your boyfriend was trying to see if this would affect him. As sort of a proof that he has feelings. Which would not be the way I would 'test' that

    Have the two of you talked about things? How did this make you feel about yourself?

    Take care,

    Ilse.
    To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.
    ~~Bertrand Russell~~


    Our little girl will become a big sister in June '12!

  10. #10
    Member Michelle03's Avatar
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    It made me feel not too good about myself. Mostly i did it because he said he really wanted to and i had never tried it before. I have talked to him and he said he feels really bad, he never thought it would bother him much. He said he is not mad at me at all, and doesnt think any differently about me because it was him who pursuaded me to do it. I just feel bad and dont want it to ruin our relationship, which i dont think it will, but i dont want him to think i dont care about him, or that i have feelings for his friend or anything. I have no feelings for his friend, it was purly experimental and that he wanted to do it. He said he just wants to forget about it and we should put it behind us and that he doesnt want me too fel bad because it was his idea. But we both stopped, he couldnt do it and i felt awkward. So does that mean that he does care about me alot and made the mistake of thinking it wouldnt bother him? By what he is saying do u think that things will be alright? He is acting completly normal and everything, i just dont want there to be any awkwardness when we are all togethr or i dont want him too worry about me liking his friend or something? So should i just drop it and let it be behind us and forget about it?
    He who never loves never finds pain, but he who never loves has never really lived

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