I just can't understand some women.

JonnyG · 03-09-2005, 07:06 PM

Please don't think im putting all girls/women in the same basket.

I apologise, this is really long and I know most people will take one glance at the size and think "no thanks" to reading it, but I would appreciate it. I really want to get some anger out of my system. A girl has never confused me so much.

I have known a girl from msn for over a year. Met just before Christmas 2003. During this time we have chatted all the time to each other. Especially from June onwards. We use webcams so we know what each other look like. She is very pretty. And she has said she thinks im good looking. She is always asking me to use the webcam so im assuming she truly believes this and I have told her enough that I think she is hot.

However, she is Jewish anyway and believes in marrying another Jew, which is fair enough. She is in another country as well, but the whole point of my thread will explain that this is besides the point though.

We probably talked 3-4 times a week on msn from anywhere from a quick 2 mins to 3 hours or so. We have a good laugh most of the time. Its not always great conversations (what can u expect when u talk so often, I can't even think of stuff to tell my dad when he rings me once a week) but the fact is its just nice to see each other. She has told me stuff she says she has never told anyone else (sexually related), not even her closest friends at home.

She even decided to take things one step further in June and got me to phone her. We had a good chat and she was going on about loving my accent. Her's was nice as well, nice French accent. Occasionally we would talk by phone between June to Christmas. She called me more.

It got to November and our conversations got better and better. We had great chats, really had a good laugh. She loves how much I make her laugh. I would sometimes help her with her English homework, or cheer her up if she had had a bad day etc. She started to say things like "You really should know something" and I would reply "I should?" and she said "I really really really like you".

She then went away just after Christmas and before going she was saying that she felt she was becoming obsessed with me. While she was away she would tx me regularly. And when she finally got back home she started to call me quite often as well as her mum had got a sim card that was good for calling people abroad. As always, our conversations were great.

It then got to mid January, my work started making me do some late shifts but during that first week she called a couple of times.

Then it all started to just go downhill. I have no idea why and the frustration of not knowing why is hurting me more than the sadness I feel for hardly seeing her.

She was on msn less than normal the next week, though the 1 time I saw her it was a real great conversation again like nothing was wrong we were both laughing over the webcam having such a good time. And again the conversation ended and she said " I love you". I don't think she meant it as a full on "I love u" but a "u are a great friend" comment.

The next week then past by and again, she just wasen't on msn basically. I tx her but she just didn't bother replying.

My birthday came up and her present never turned up. She phoned me but seemed like she had nothing to say. I said I would see her on msn after. We were on msn chatting and my dad called to say "happy birthday" and all. By the time I got off she was really distracted she seemed (saw on webcam again), she just took a while to respond. I really couldn't think of much to say. She was having a good laugh talking to someone else. I asked her who else she was chatting to? She then said this "cute guy" from her school was on and she was chatting to him. I felt real hurt to be honest. Not only had she not been around the week before my birthday but on my birthday she barely could think of anything to say on the phone and then basically let me do all the typing on msn as she was too distracted by this "cute" guy (She had mentioned this guy before and I said she should go out with him, but she said he was only 14 so too young). I gave up when I felt she just couldn't be bothered to talk to me. She said to me not to go but I said I best go because I had other things to do and she seemed to be having a laugh with this other guy. Unfortuntely, she has already told me she loves jealous guys as it makes her feel special. *sigh*

A couple of days later it was her birthday. I bought her a present she had always wanted, an authentic Von Dutch cap. Not only had it been expensive, it was a lot of hassle to get hold of in the first place and I had to waste my hour lunchbreak sending it off to her. (also had sent a Valentine card with the present)

I phoned her and had a quick 5 mins chatting, * ouch * £1 a min mobile to mobile. It went ok. And a couple of days later she tx me to say thanks for the present and her words were something like "Thank you so so so much. U have no idea how happy I am. Hope to see you before you go. Love u! xxx"

Of course another couple of days go by and she isn't on msn and I send her a tx saying I would miss her during my time away (I was going skiing for a week). A reply never came back. I went for a week, came back and had no missed calls and no txs. I really started to struggle to understand why she was acting like this.

I sent a tx when I got back, but only received a tx 3 days later from her, in which she asked a question so I replied and also asked a question, but again no reply.

Another 5 days or so and I was nearly tearing my hair out. The rare times she was on msn she seemed too busy to talk. I eventually asked her friend on msn what was going on and why she was acting like this? She explained that she didn't know, but told me they were real busy with exams. She also suggested that maybe I was being too nice to her (Yep, the dreaded good guy problem again), but I told her that I was not msning her or txing her any more (well, how could i on msn? she was never on basically) than she had been to me before going all quiet. I also wasen't phoning her like she phoned me. She suggested that I should not worry and that the girl in question (call her "M" from now on) "really likes" me and that I should wait for her to come to me.

The next day I get a tx from M saying how sorry she was, but she had been real busy with work and her msn had been playing up, but said "that is still no excuse I could of tx u". She said not to worry and that she did really miss me and she had not forgotten about me or anything and when she had finished her exams she would be more back to normal. She told me a guy was coming round to fix her msn problems as well the next week. I felt so relieved that she had acknowledged that she had not been fair on me and was genuinely sorry about it. The next night ( a Friday), she said "Hi" on msn and I was meant to be going out, but she said she really wanted to talk, so I of course stuck around a little longer so we could have a chat (I mean, I was desperate to talk really). Another great chat and again after 20 mins of laughing she said "when I get my msn fixed we will chat everyday" and "I love u, maybe too much".

For the next load of days I felt much better. We got to the next week, but I was working lates Monday-Wednesday so didn't see her. It came to Thursday and it was obvious she had msn problems still. She was online but couldn't get an answer out of her. I then went pub and she msned me while out (so, she obviously wanted to talk to me, great), but by the time I got back again she had problems or something because I replied but she didn't. I sent another tx, but again no reply. Tried to get her on Friday as well, but couldn't get a response. Comes to Sunday, she is online and I asked her how her Saturday night was. And she was like "What the ****? Where have you been?" (In a "im missing u type of way, not having a go at me". I explained I tried to get hold of her, but she must have been still suffering problems on msn. She told me she wasen't even online Friday so didn't know why msn said she was, perhaps her sister was on. Her friend confirmed this to me that her computer was a mess. What bugs me is I had sent her a tx yet again that thursday and yet again she didn't reply.

So, its back to the present week. So far Monday to Wednesday have gone by, and she has not been on msn. Her computer is still probably bust, so that's fair enough. Yet again, I tx her asking when it was meant to be fixed today and said at the end of it "….am I not worth the cost of a tx anymore?

", because since mid way through January when things went weird, she has only replied to like 2 out of 8 txs.

I am completely buffled. I am sssooo angry because I am so confused why???? The last 7 weeks I have hardly talked to her. I haven't even seen her wearing my dam present I got her yet because of the problems of not being able to get her on msn and if she has been on msn she has been too busy to chat or been round at her aunts (Friday nights sometimes) where no webcam.

M at the beginning of the year was txing me, phoning me, and telling me she was addicted to me basically. We had such a great laugh during the last year, especially last 6 months and especially the month before she went so quiet on me. She couldn't seem to get enough of me.

Now out of the blue nothing has changed but she has just gone all "I don't care about u anymore" attitude. Please don't read some of my comments and say "heh man, she says how much u mean to her" etc, because I am lucky to see her once a week now where as before I saw her 3-4 times a week on msn. True, im working now so see her less on msn because of some late shifts and also her msn is messed up the last few weeks, but even before it messed up she has been quiet and she does have a mobile to tx/call with. The weird thing though is that when we have talked we have had a good laugh as usual. She wouldn't bother talking to me on msn if she didn't care, but she still does occasionally (and yes, she intiates the conversations as well) and we still have a great time together.

Its now over 5 weeks since my birthday and still never received the present I was supposedly sent. Never sent a valentines card either (not that im expecting this). The least I would of thought she would do if she really did send something is ask me a bit more often if it had arrived yet and sound a bit more angry that it had not. A simple card on my birthday would of meant a lot, but alas, nothing. As for calls, she hasent since my birthday. As for tx's, she just doesn't send any anymore. And barely replies to any I send. Including today's tx asking her if she could answer my previous question about when her msn would be fixed and wasent I worth txing basically anymore?

I honestly would not be surprised if she gets her msn fixed and she starts talking to me like this 7 weeks never happened. Unfortunately im scared it won't happen. I care about her a so much, that's why I am so angry and sad, but I am more angry because of confusion than I am sad now. Its just plain crazy.

Im not even going out with her for crying out loud, so its not like im being too much of a nice guy and so im being dumped, im a dam good friend, that's all. How many people boot their friends out for being overly nice???? Exactly, no one.

Add more insult but im now 23 and shes only 17

. Yes, young I know, but we are only friends, and I do actually prefer older women, but not only is she so pretty but she has a great personailty (obviously up until recently) and accent

so "yes" I do fancy her, but she has known this a good while. Most 17 year old girls would be over the moon to chat to someone my age. At least the girls at my school were.

Unfortunately I am typing this and I don't know what I want to hear, as sad and pathetic as its sounds, a bunch of sympathy right now sounds nice. But im sure most people will read this and because I can't explain the relationship we have properly on this website, people will probably make false opinions as to why and blame me that I have done something wrong. I can't stress enough that I haven't really done anything different apart from make her "so so so happy you have no idea" from buying her a present recently.

A friend suggested it may even be her hormones going mental and so she is acting like this. Perhaps with her msn messing her around so much and how busy she is with work so we haven't spoken properly much that she is forgetting how much of a good time we had. But her exams are over now, and still nothing.

I don't know what to do

. Hopefully her msn will be fixed soon and she will be on more regularly. Hopefully tomorrow as im working early on Thursday and Friday I may be able to get hold of her, but im not sure if her msn is fixed. I just want to ask her "WHY!!!!??????", she seems to care but not care at the same time. The only person who can truely answer this though as her I guess.

DN · 03-09-2005, 08:16 PM

I did read the message (phew!!) and I am sorry to have to tell you that one fact near the end jumped out at me - she's 17. There is no way that a 'hot' 17 year old is going to have a serious ldr with someone she met on the internet and who lives in another country. This is an excitement for her but as soon as something comes up to distract her - she is distracted. If she was really into you, she would not be distracted but want to spend time talking, getting to know you, etc.

I think you would be wise to disengage your emotions from this girl, get over her as soon as you can, and find someone closer to your own age and emotional maturity level.

Sorry to be so negative but

JonnyG · 03-09-2005, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DN

I did read the message (phew!!) and I am sorry to have to tell you that one fact near the end jumped out at me - she's 17. There is no way that a 'hot' 17 year old is going to have a serious ldr with someone she met on the internet and who lives in another country. This is an excitement for her but as soon as something comes up to distract her - she is distracted. If she was really into you, she would not be distracted but want to spend time talking, getting to know you, etc.

I think you would be wise to disengage your emotions from this girl, get over her as soon as you can, and find someone closer to your own age and emotional maturity level.

Sorry to be so negative but

No probs, i appreciate the response, but me and her already know nothing would happen anyway as she is Jewish. Doesnt mean we can't just be friends though, who just find each other a bit attractive. Thats my whole point on this thread, were not going to go out with each other. Were just good friends.

Secondly I find her "hot", doesnt mean every else does as its my opinion. She isn't the most successful girl with guys, so i guess some people disagree with my opinion she is "hot"

, or maybe she acted with them like she is suddenly acting with me

Thirdly, i don't think its great for a 23 and a 17 to get together, but had it been a 18 and 24 year old the attitude would be different. The problem is that 18 makes u sound much older despite the fact the difference is still 6 years. But, i do agree, the difference is a bit large. But again, were not planning to go out with each other, were friends

Funny enough, there is a girl interested in me at the mo, but i don't know what i want right now from a girl, so im on a prosponing period

JonnyG · 03-09-2005, 08:46 PM

Sorry, can i also point out that since i've known her she has had 2 bfs and I have told her to make more efforts with guys that she likes cause she is lonely. So im actively getting her involved with other guys she fancies

and vice versa i tell her about the girls that I like. During the times she is with thes guys, she still chats to me.

Sorry, im just trying to point out, we really are just friends. But friends can still find each other attractive.

Thanks for your reply tho DN, please don't think im having a go at you mate. Feel free to reply.

Raiders#79 · 03-09-2005, 11:01 PM

wow... this is kinda weird... theres a girl in my school that is in that situation... she is the 17 year old and what not... but she isnt jewish lol and seriously if you hadnt said that she was i would think you were the guy she talks to... cuz her msn has been acting up and whatever... very interesting tho... she has an accent and she obviously would have an accent to anyone from a different country... lol... but anyways i just thought it was cool that you were in that situation and i have a REALLY close friend in that same exact situation...

JonnyG · 03-10-2005, 02:23 AM

Quite

Hopefully she is on today when i get back from work and hopefully her msn is fixed so I can try to talk. I would rather she would tell me where to go and why than just stay silent for no reason. Driving me insane at the mo. I do understand why she has been quieter due to her msn being in a mess and her busy with exams and all and me at work all the time, but like she even said herself, the main thing that bugs me is that she doesnt even respond to tx msgs and when the occasional chat has happened it can still be a good laugh and she has even intiated some of them (in fact, I usually wait for her to say "hi" because at the mo i almost feel embarassed trying to say it to her first) which shows that she is still interested in talking, but she just not acting herself these last 7 weeks.

JonnyG · 03-10-2005, 12:46 PM

Well, it aint looking good, i come home today, she is on msn, im trying to talk to her but she isnt replying. I asked her friend if her internet was fixed and she "YES it is".

Great, even her friend is now giving me grief just because im trying to talk to someone i have been friends with for over a year and been an absolute top guy with her and now she treats me like im barely there so I raise concern *sigh* . I barely talk to her friend, am always pleasant to her but i asked if M's internet is fixed twice in the space of a week, in which once she didnt reply and the next time i get the above message. All the more funny that 6 weeks ago she was asking if i could drive so I could go to london and meet them if they went for a day trip there through the euro tunnel. ho ho ho, it just gets better and better.

Honestly, im so sick of girls these days im struggling to hack it. No point been nice anymore. My whole life I just seemed to have witnessed the unbelieveable with girls. The guy at school which all the girls backstabed yet they went out with the guy if he asked. Same happened at my older brothers school. The guys who treated girls real bad but craved for more, I had a few friends like this. My brother's ex who randomly decided one day to give up with him and sleep with like 4 guys in a 2 weeks (inc a guy my bother knew she didnt fancy) and then hoped to get back with him after. These examples to name a few.

I have a girl interested in me now, and I hate to say it, but she is also young (17) not sure when she's 18, but I think soon. I am seriously considering just going out with her and just treating her badly just because it seems the must thing to do. And if she loves it great, and if she doesnt i don't care!!!!

However, just been on the phone to my younger brother and after shouting all my anger to him, he has convinced me to be nice to this girl. Not even sure what i want, I'll probably tell her it is not a good idea to meet because of her age and also because I would like an F-buddy more than a relationship right now I think in my life. So, I don't want to hurt her.

Nice timing there, get to the end of my post and M has left msn. Yes, she could still have issues with it, but who knows. I left her a msg on her mobile (first time I have done this).

As someone so nicely put not long ago in replying to a thread in this forum in realising the world:

"I play golf against a mate who cheats, so i lose"
"I go to an interview and be honest so i dont get the job"
"I treat girls nicely so thats why I don't have a gf"

Honestly, its all starting to make perfect sense

Might as well go the gym now, try to get some aggression out. This world is really looking to become one big joke! I hate myself for not appreciating it enough, but im really struggle to find reasons to appreciate it.

JonnyG · 03-11-2005, 10:27 PM

Well, what i dreaded happened today. sorry, i thought id share it with u.

I sent her an msn msg saying something like "Hi

Im not sure if you are receiving my msgs or not. I have a feeling something is not right but hope u would tell me if something is wrong. Hope you have had a good day"

And she replied something like: "My internet is fixed but I have been busy and my sister is often on it. NO you havent done anything wrong, i just don't have the time or the interest to go on msn"

As i remember correctly, she told me she basically only went on msn because of me, so therefore even though its not directly at me, i feel it might as well have been.

I then absolutely choked and said "ok. Fair enough. Could you please do me a favour though and send me a pciture of you with my present

" (yes, my amazing present which i never saw her wear

)

She then went offline.

Well, thats what u get for over a year of friendship. O and after she tells u for a month b4 hand that your basically the best thing since sliced bread. during the month upto it i've been phoned, txed and msned loads being told "I love u"/ "I really really really like you"/ "When my msn is fixed we will chat everyday. I have missed you" and a long tx apology i wont list saying she was sorry for her lack of effort to talk to me recently and that again she missed me. etc etc. O, and bought her a present she has always wanted and has made her "so so so happy, u have no idea".

Possible reasons:

Her hormones
Her sister wrote it (Can't believe she would of)
Some test to check out my reaction (*sigh*)
She really has lost interest talking to me (God knows why, after all the fun we have had and her recent comments)
She actually really likes me too much and is worried about her feelings and therefore thinks cutting me out will stop the issue (???)

She may well come back and start talking to me again in a week or 2, a month or maybe longer. If she doesn't, instead of trying to get her on msn, i will write a letter explaining all, and hopefully even if she doesnt go back to msn, will reply explaining a bit more why she suddenly went from caring about me so much, to not caring with no real reason.

If I had done this to her up until recently she would of been in tears. The one time before Christmas i was odd with her, she got very upset and told me how much she cared for me and was worried about me.

I don't mind chatting to her less, hell, like i said, when it comes to msn, its her 2/3rds of the time trying to get hold of me. Sometimes im too busy to talk. I can except she is busy adn she can't be on msn as much, but not being able to chat to a friend who has been so good to you for over a year its just plain right c**p.

My brother has told myself to not beat myself up about it. But im finding it hard. I know many people reading this will think "just get over it man", but if u knew just how much we have talked and how much of a good time we have had being friends, u would understand.

Anyway, i'll stop my moaning now, and let the thread die

BCBoy81 · 03-12-2005, 03:49 AM

And it's the women that say men are the ones that play games. HAH!
Been down that same road a million times my friend.... women are trouble plain and simple.

pandorasbox · 03-13-2005, 02:27 AM

When you're desperately missing a girl/ wanting to get with her/ jealous of other guys shes talking too/ anything along these lines, you unconsciously send some signals which immediately finish that attraction girls feel for you. And its like, the more badly you want them back the less the attraction they feel for you. And you end up getting in the just friends category.

I was with this chick for like 6 months. she was ALL OVER me during this time just the way this chick was with you. All the 6 months i just kept it like I was havin fun with this chick nothin serious, but after that 6 months i was like I love her! So I started being the desperate/needy kinda guy and got really mad when i found she was flirting with this other guy. And that basically killed the attraction. Now I'm over it, and I've made myself a commitment. I'll date at least 3 girls at a time, only see them once, may be twice a week, never call them more than once a week, NEVER LOVE THEM. And the moment things start to get a little bit complicated with a chick i'll say "NEXT" and move on. All of you guys need to make this commitment to yourself. Our happiness is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than any girl of the world.

03-09-2005, 07:06 PM	#1
JonnyG Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: UK Age: 27 Posts: 909	I just can't understand some women. Please don't think im putting all girls/women in the same basket. I apologise, this is really long and I know most people will take one glance at the size and think "no thanks" to reading it, but I would appreciate it. I really want to get some anger out of my system. A girl has never confused me so much. I have known a girl from msn for over a year. Met just before Christmas 2003. During this time we have chatted all the time to each other. Especially from June onwards. We use webcams so we know what each other look like. She is very pretty. And she has said she thinks im good looking. She is always asking me to use the webcam so im assuming she truly believes this and I have told her enough that I think she is hot. However, she is Jewish anyway and believes in marrying another Jew, which is fair enough. She is in another country as well, but the whole point of my thread will explain that this is besides the point though. We probably talked 3-4 times a week on msn from anywhere from a quick 2 mins to 3 hours or so. We have a good laugh most of the time. Its not always great conversations (what can u expect when u talk so often, I can't even think of stuff to tell my dad when he rings me once a week) but the fact is its just nice to see each other. She has told me stuff she says she has never told anyone else (sexually related), not even her closest friends at home. She even decided to take things one step further in June and got me to phone her. We had a good chat and she was going on about loving my accent. Her's was nice as well, nice French accent. Occasionally we would talk by phone between June to Christmas. She called me more. It got to November and our conversations got better and better. We had great chats, really had a good laugh. She loves how much I make her laugh. I would sometimes help her with her English homework, or cheer her up if she had had a bad day etc. She started to say things like "You really should know something" and I would reply "I should?" and she said "I really really really like you". She then went away just after Christmas and before going she was saying that she felt she was becoming obsessed with me. While she was away she would tx me regularly. And when she finally got back home she started to call me quite often as well as her mum had got a sim card that was good for calling people abroad. As always, our conversations were great. It then got to mid January, my work started making me do some late shifts but during that first week she called a couple of times. Then it all started to just go downhill. I have no idea why and the frustration of not knowing why is hurting me more than the sadness I feel for hardly seeing her. She was on msn less than normal the next week, though the 1 time I saw her it was a real great conversation again like nothing was wrong we were both laughing over the webcam having such a good time. And again the conversation ended and she said " I love you". I don't think she meant it as a full on "I love u" but a "u are a great friend" comment. The next week then past by and again, she just wasen't on msn basically. I tx her but she just didn't bother replying. My birthday came up and her present never turned up. She phoned me but seemed like she had nothing to say. I said I would see her on msn after. We were on msn chatting and my dad called to say "happy birthday" and all. By the time I got off she was really distracted she seemed (saw on webcam again), she just took a while to respond. I really couldn't think of much to say. She was having a good laugh talking to someone else. I asked her who else she was chatting to? She then said this "cute guy" from her school was on and she was chatting to him. I felt real hurt to be honest. Not only had she not been around the week before my birthday but on my birthday she barely could think of anything to say on the phone and then basically let me do all the typing on msn as she was too distracted by this "cute" guy (She had mentioned this guy before and I said she should go out with him, but she said he was only 14 so too young). I gave up when I felt she just couldn't be bothered to talk to me. She said to me not to go but I said I best go because I had other things to do and she seemed to be having a laugh with this other guy. Unfortuntely, she has already told me she loves jealous guys as it makes her feel special. sigh A couple of days later it was her birthday. I bought her a present she had always wanted, an authentic Von Dutch cap. Not only had it been expensive, it was a lot of hassle to get hold of in the first place and I had to waste my hour lunchbreak sending it off to her. (also had sent a Valentine card with the present) I phoned her and had a quick 5 mins chatting, * ouch * £1 a min mobile to mobile. It went ok. And a couple of days later she tx me to say thanks for the present and her words were something like "Thank you so so so much. U have no idea how happy I am. Hope to see you before you go. Love u! xxx" Of course another couple of days go by and she isn't on msn and I send her a tx saying I would miss her during my time away (I was going skiing for a week). A reply never came back. I went for a week, came back and had no missed calls and no txs. I really started to struggle to understand why she was acting like this. I sent a tx when I got back, but only received a tx 3 days later from her, in which she asked a question so I replied and also asked a question, but again no reply. Another 5 days or so and I was nearly tearing my hair out. The rare times she was on msn she seemed too busy to talk. I eventually asked her friend on msn what was going on and why she was acting like this? She explained that she didn't know, but told me they were real busy with exams. She also suggested that maybe I was being too nice to her (Yep, the dreaded good guy problem again), but I told her that I was not msning her or txing her any more (well, how could i on msn? she was never on basically) than she had been to me before going all quiet. I also wasen't phoning her like she phoned me. She suggested that I should not worry and that the girl in question (call her "M" from now on) "really likes" me and that I should wait for her to come to me. The next day I get a tx from M saying how sorry she was, but she had been real busy with work and her msn had been playing up, but said "that is still no excuse I could of tx u". She said not to worry and that she did really miss me and she had not forgotten about me or anything and when she had finished her exams she would be more back to normal. She told me a guy was coming round to fix her msn problems as well the next week. I felt so relieved that she had acknowledged that she had not been fair on me and was genuinely sorry about it. The next night ( a Friday), she said "Hi" on msn and I was meant to be going out, but she said she really wanted to talk, so I of course stuck around a little longer so we could have a chat (I mean, I was desperate to talk really). Another great chat and again after 20 mins of laughing she said "when I get my msn fixed we will chat everyday" and "I love u, maybe too much". For the next load of days I felt much better. We got to the next week, but I was working lates Monday-Wednesday so didn't see her. It came to Thursday and it was obvious she had msn problems still. She was online but couldn't get an answer out of her. I then went pub and she msned me while out (so, she obviously wanted to talk to me, great), but by the time I got back again she had problems or something because I replied but she didn't. I sent another tx, but again no reply. Tried to get her on Friday as well, but couldn't get a response. Comes to Sunday, she is online and I asked her how her Saturday night was. And she was like "What the ****? Where have you been?" (In a "im missing u type of way, not having a go at me". I explained I tried to get hold of her, but she must have been still suffering problems on msn. She told me she wasen't even online Friday so didn't know why msn said she was, perhaps her sister was on. Her friend confirmed this to me that her computer was a mess. What bugs me is I had sent her a tx yet again that thursday and yet again she didn't reply. So, its back to the present week. So far Monday to Wednesday have gone by, and she has not been on msn. Her computer is still probably bust, so that's fair enough. Yet again, I tx her asking when it was meant to be fixed today and said at the end of it "….am I not worth the cost of a tx anymore? ", because since mid way through January when things went weird, she has only replied to like 2 out of 8 txs. I am completely buffled. I am sssooo angry because I am so confused why???? The last 7 weeks I have hardly talked to her. I haven't even seen her wearing my dam present I got her yet because of the problems of not being able to get her on msn and if she has been on msn she has been too busy to chat or been round at her aunts (Friday nights sometimes) where no webcam. M at the beginning of the year was txing me, phoning me, and telling me she was addicted to me basically. We had such a great laugh during the last year, especially last 6 months and especially the month before she went so quiet on me. She couldn't seem to get enough of me. Now out of the blue nothing has changed but she has just gone all "I don't care about u anymore" attitude. Please don't read some of my comments and say "heh man, she says how much u mean to her" etc, because I am lucky to see her once a week now where as before I saw her 3-4 times a week on msn. True, im working now so see her less on msn because of some late shifts and also her msn is messed up the last few weeks, but even before it messed up she has been quiet and she does have a mobile to tx/call with. The weird thing though is that when we have talked we have had a good laugh as usual. She wouldn't bother talking to me on msn if she didn't care, but she still does occasionally (and yes, she intiates the conversations as well) and we still have a great time together. Its now over 5 weeks since my birthday and still never received the present I was supposedly sent. Never sent a valentines card either (not that im expecting this). The least I would of thought she would do if she really did send something is ask me a bit more often if it had arrived yet and sound a bit more angry that it had not. A simple card on my birthday would of meant a lot, but alas, nothing. As for calls, she hasent since my birthday. As for tx's, she just doesn't send any anymore. And barely replies to any I send. Including today's tx asking her if she could answer my previous question about when her msn would be fixed and wasent I worth txing basically anymore? I honestly would not be surprised if she gets her msn fixed and she starts talking to me like this 7 weeks never happened. Unfortunately im scared it won't happen. I care about her a so much, that's why I am so angry and sad, but I am more angry because of confusion than I am sad now. Its just plain crazy. Im not even going out with her for crying out loud, so its not like im being too much of a nice guy and so im being dumped, im a dam good friend, that's all. How many people boot their friends out for being overly nice???? Exactly, no one. Add more insult but im now 23 and shes only 17 . Yes, young I know, but we are only friends, and I do actually prefer older women, but not only is she so pretty but she has a great personailty (obviously up until recently) and accent so "yes" I do fancy her, but she has known this a good while. Most 17 year old girls would be over the moon to chat to someone my age. At least the girls at my school were. Unfortunately I am typing this and I don't know what I want to hear, as sad and pathetic as its sounds, a bunch of sympathy right now sounds nice. But im sure most people will read this and because I can't explain the relationship we have properly on this website, people will probably make false opinions as to why and blame me that I have done something wrong. I can't stress enough that I haven't really done anything different apart from make her "so so so happy you have no idea" from buying her a present recently. A friend suggested it may even be her hormones going mental and so she is acting like this. Perhaps with her msn messing her around so much and how busy she is with work so we haven't spoken properly much that she is forgetting how much of a good time we had. But her exams are over now, and still nothing. I don't know what to do . Hopefully her msn will be fixed soon and she will be on more regularly. Hopefully tomorrow as im working early on Thursday and Friday I may be able to get hold of her, but im not sure if her msn is fixed. I just want to ask her "WHY!!!!??????", she seems to care but not care at the same time. The only person who can truely answer this though as her I guess.

03-09-2005, 08:16 PM	#2
DN Online Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,437	I did read the message (phew!!) and I am sorry to have to tell you that one fact near the end jumped out at me - she's 17. There is no way that a 'hot' 17 year old is going to have a serious ldr with someone she met on the internet and who lives in another country. This is an excitement for her but as soon as something comes up to distract her - she is distracted. If she was really into you, she would not be distracted but want to spend time talking, getting to know you, etc. I think you would be wise to disengage your emotions from this girl, get over her as soon as you can, and find someone closer to your own age and emotional maturity level. Sorry to be so negative but __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

03-09-2005, 11:01 PM	#5
Raiders#79 Offline Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: California Age: 21 Posts: 63	wow... this is kinda weird... theres a girl in my school that is in that situation... she is the 17 year old and what not... but she isnt jewish lol and seriously if you hadnt said that she was i would think you were the guy she talks to... cuz her msn has been acting up and whatever... very interesting tho... she has an accent and she obviously would have an accent to anyone from a different country... lol... but anyways i just thought it was cool that you were in that situation and i have a REALLY close friend in that same exact situation... __________________ "Success doesn't come just from what God gives you...Success comes from what you do with it"~Me "If you fear failure, you will succeed!"~Me

03-09-2005, 08:46 PM	#4
JonnyG Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: UK Age: 27 Posts: 909	Sorry, can i also point out that since i've known her she has had 2 bfs and I have told her to make more efforts with guys that she likes cause she is lonely. So im actively getting her involved with other guys she fancies and vice versa i tell her about the girls that I like. During the times she is with thes guys, she still chats to me. Sorry, im just trying to point out, we really are just friends. But friends can still find each other attractive. Thanks for your reply tho DN, please don't think im having a go at you mate. Feel free to reply.

03-10-2005, 02:23 AM	#6
JonnyG Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: UK Age: 27 Posts: 909	Quite Hopefully she is on today when i get back from work and hopefully her msn is fixed so I can try to talk. I would rather she would tell me where to go and why than just stay silent for no reason. Driving me insane at the mo. I do understand why she has been quieter due to her msn being in a mess and her busy with exams and all and me at work all the time, but like she even said herself, the main thing that bugs me is that she doesnt even respond to tx msgs and when the occasional chat has happened it can still be a good laugh and she has even intiated some of them (in fact, I usually wait for her to say "hi" because at the mo i almost feel embarassed trying to say it to her first) which shows that she is still interested in talking, but she just not acting herself these last 7 weeks.

03-10-2005, 12:46 PM	#7
JonnyG Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: UK Age: 27 Posts: 909	Well, it aint looking good, i come home today, she is on msn, im trying to talk to her but she isnt replying. I asked her friend if her internet was fixed and she "YES it is". Great, even her friend is now giving me grief just because im trying to talk to someone i have been friends with for over a year and been an absolute top guy with her and now she treats me like im barely there so I raise concern sigh . I barely talk to her friend, am always pleasant to her but i asked if M's internet is fixed twice in the space of a week, in which once she didnt reply and the next time i get the above message. All the more funny that 6 weeks ago she was asking if i could drive so I could go to london and meet them if they went for a day trip there through the euro tunnel. ho ho ho, it just gets better and better. Honestly, im so sick of girls these days im struggling to hack it. No point been nice anymore. My whole life I just seemed to have witnessed the unbelieveable with girls. The guy at school which all the girls backstabed yet they went out with the guy if he asked. Same happened at my older brothers school. The guys who treated girls real bad but craved for more, I had a few friends like this. My brother's ex who randomly decided one day to give up with him and sleep with like 4 guys in a 2 weeks (inc a guy my bother knew she didnt fancy) and then hoped to get back with him after. These examples to name a few. I have a girl interested in me now, and I hate to say it, but she is also young (17) not sure when she's 18, but I think soon. I am seriously considering just going out with her and just treating her badly just because it seems the must thing to do. And if she loves it great, and if she doesnt i don't care!!!! However, just been on the phone to my younger brother and after shouting all my anger to him, he has convinced me to be nice to this girl. Not even sure what i want, I'll probably tell her it is not a good idea to meet because of her age and also because I would like an F-buddy more than a relationship right now I think in my life. So, I don't want to hurt her. Nice timing there, get to the end of my post and M has left msn. Yes, she could still have issues with it, but who knows. I left her a msg on her mobile (first time I have done this). As someone so nicely put not long ago in replying to a thread in this forum in realising the world: "I play golf against a mate who cheats, so i lose" "I go to an interview and be honest so i dont get the job" "I treat girls nicely so thats why I don't have a gf" Honestly, its all starting to make perfect sense Might as well go the gym now, try to get some aggression out. This world is really looking to become one big joke! I hate myself for not appreciating it enough, but im really struggle to find reasons to appreciate it.

03-11-2005, 10:27 PM	#8
JonnyG Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: UK Age: 27 Posts: 909	Well, what i dreaded happened today. sorry, i thought id share it with u. I sent her an msn msg saying something like "Hi Im not sure if you are receiving my msgs or not. I have a feeling something is not right but hope u would tell me if something is wrong. Hope you have had a good day" And she replied something like: "My internet is fixed but I have been busy and my sister is often on it. NO you havent done anything wrong, i just don't have the time or the interest to go on msn" As i remember correctly, she told me she basically only went on msn because of me, so therefore even though its not directly at me, i feel it might as well have been. I then absolutely choked and said "ok. Fair enough. Could you please do me a favour though and send me a pciture of you with my present " (yes, my amazing present which i never saw her wear ) She then went offline. Well, thats what u get for over a year of friendship. O and after she tells u for a month b4 hand that your basically the best thing since sliced bread. during the month upto it i've been phoned, txed and msned loads being told "I love u"/ "I really really really like you"/ "When my msn is fixed we will chat everyday. I have missed you" and a long tx apology i wont list saying she was sorry for her lack of effort to talk to me recently and that again she missed me. etc etc. O, and bought her a present she has always wanted and has made her "so so so happy, u have no idea". Possible reasons: Her hormones Her sister wrote it (Can't believe she would of) Some test to check out my reaction (sigh) She really has lost interest talking to me (God knows why, after all the fun we have had and her recent comments) She actually really likes me too much and is worried about her feelings and therefore thinks cutting me out will stop the issue (???) She may well come back and start talking to me again in a week or 2, a month or maybe longer. If she doesn't, instead of trying to get her on msn, i will write a letter explaining all, and hopefully even if she doesnt go back to msn, will reply explaining a bit more why she suddenly went from caring about me so much, to not caring with no real reason. If I had done this to her up until recently she would of been in tears. The one time before Christmas i was odd with her, she got very upset and told me how much she cared for me and was worried about me. I don't mind chatting to her less, hell, like i said, when it comes to msn, its her 2/3rds of the time trying to get hold of me. Sometimes im too busy to talk. I can except she is busy adn she can't be on msn as much, but not being able to chat to a friend who has been so good to you for over a year its just plain right c**p. My brother has told myself to not beat myself up about it. But im finding it hard. I know many people reading this will think "just get over it man", but if u knew just how much we have talked and how much of a good time we have had being friends, u would understand. Anyway, i'll stop my moaning now, and let the thread die

03-12-2005, 03:49 AM	#9
BCBoy81 Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Castlegar, BC, Canada Age: 28 Posts: 79	And it's the women that say men are the ones that play games. HAH! Been down that same road a million times my friend.... women are trouble plain and simple.

03-13-2005, 02:27 AM	#10
pandorasbox Offline Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 76	When you're desperately missing a girl/ wanting to get with her/ jealous of other guys shes talking too/ anything along these lines, you unconsciously send some signals which immediately finish that attraction girls feel for you. And its like, the more badly you want them back the less the attraction they feel for you. And you end up getting in the just friends category. I was with this chick for like 6 months. she was ALL OVER me during this time just the way this chick was with you. All the 6 months i just kept it like I was havin fun with this chick nothin serious, but after that 6 months i was like I love her! So I started being the desperate/needy kinda guy and got really mad when i found she was flirting with this other guy. And that basically killed the attraction. Now I'm over it, and I've made myself a commitment. I'll date at least 3 girls at a time, only see them once, may be twice a week, never call them more than once a week, NEVER LOVE THEM. And the moment things start to get a little bit complicated with a chick i'll say "NEXT" and move on. All of you guys need to make this commitment to yourself. Our happiness is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than any girl of the world.