Change my personality??

finittz · 02-15-2005, 09:01 PM

well...im the quiet type of guy...hanging out wit friends, laughing at their jokes and once in a blue moon throwing in mine...
there a couple of girls i talk to if an opportunity comes up..but otherwise i just sit there...while my other friend pokes them, always making jokes about them and bothering them, now to me it would seem like it bothers them, but he still makes them laugh and i get the feeling that even though he acts like a 10yr old kid...girls like it when he bothers them...

so in general do girls like it when they are bothered, poked, tapping them then turning away? Also since im the kind of guy who just sits there, and laughs at jokes they make once in a while...should i change my attitude..start bugging them more and acting a bit more stupid???

FuriousSam · 02-15-2005, 09:09 PM

Don't change yourself if you think that will help you get girls because it won't. Change yourself because you want to change for yourself. And you said that you are a quiet type, so while you are on the street next time say hi to some cute girls. You don't have to say anything, just hi and a smile. Keep doing that and after a while, you will be comfortable talking to people.

You asked if girls likes to be bothered by someone that you think is acting like a 10 year old? Well, put yourself in their shoes. Do you like some girl that comes up to you and pokes fun at you and have fun with you or do you like the one that just sits there and do nothing?

Inconceivable · 02-15-2005, 09:13 PM

Don't change yourself just to get girls. Change yourself because you want to. I used to be just like that, I was quiet and rarely talked. But one day I decided I didn't want to be like that anymore. I wanted more friends and I wanted to let people know what I thought. I changed because I wanted to...That's what you have to ask yourself---Do I want to change for myself or just to get a girl? Because if it's just to get a girl, you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

Good Luck!

justagirl20f · 02-15-2005, 09:14 PM

Ack! No, definitely don't change your approach. TRUST ME, in a few very short years, you're gonna be the one all the girls get intrigued by, and he's gonna be the one they roll their eyes at and laugh at behind his back (as in "can you believe what that loser did to try and pick me up?!")

The problem is, he's learning that girls like to be poked and prodded and teased and maybe at your age now they do. But his approach isn't gonna get him very far with girls in the future, and because of his early learning he is going to find it very difficult to change his approach later on.

For goodness sake, don't become irritating just because it gets their attention. Remember, negative attention is still attention. I guess it depends on what kind of attention you're looking for.

Double J · 02-16-2005, 01:08 AM

I think girls like to be teased once in a while, but not in a childish way. You see, busting on girls (especially the really hot ones) conveys that you could have fun with her and you don't really care what she thinks about you. There's also something about touching (sometimes called kino) that for some reason seems to make a girl more inclined to view you as "more than friend" material. I don't mean touching in a sexually threatening way, but very subtle. Still, nothing attracts girls more than confidence.

fantasia2004 · 02-16-2005, 02:36 AM

change for you no one else and they will come

odysseus77 · 02-17-2005, 08:42 AM

Im not sure I believe in the 10 year old approach...if its flirtatious, and depending on the girl you do it to, then it can be good...its definately better than just sitting there though...Absolutely you should change your personality...romance is a game, and if you ain't playin, you can't win. People who say, you're fine the way you are, just really aint got any better advice...here's mine...if you dont want to meet girls and talk to them, then stay the same and wish that someone will come along...but if you go out and play the game, you will meet lots of girls. I know this first hand. I used to be the very shy guy, I had a girl friend for 2 and a half years, then she tore me in half. I went 6 months of being myself without much luck...then i changed my appearance, and aura about me, and now my only problem is choosing one (which is a big problem though cause none really seem to fit me for a realtionship)....any questions pm me

mehr als Mensch · 04-08-2005, 05:53 AM

Don't go changing who you are because you want something. First of all, you said it yourself, those girls are immature. Changing who you are is just going to attract those same shallow people. If you want girls that you can respect and vice versa, then I suggest that you become who you are. Don't care what other people think about you either. Just be confident, assertive, and comfortable with who you are, and you won't regret it.

fantasia2004 · 04-11-2005, 04:50 PM

you cannot change your personality just some things about you you did not do before anymore.

SkyFire · 04-11-2005, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantasia2004

you cannot change your peronality just some things about you you did not do before anymore.

Wrong. You can change your personality. I went from being a shy and scared of people to being very social.

Change your person into the person you WANT to be.

When in doubt or facing a problem, act what your best self would have done. Would your best self be shy?

There ya go. Shyness can be overcome.

PM me if you need help bro.

02-15-2005, 09:01 PM	#1
finittz Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 20 Posts: 104	Change my personality?? well...im the quiet type of guy...hanging out wit friends, laughing at their jokes and once in a blue moon throwing in mine... there a couple of girls i talk to if an opportunity comes up..but otherwise i just sit there...while my other friend pokes them, always making jokes about them and bothering them, now to me it would seem like it bothers them, but he still makes them laugh and i get the feeling that even though he acts like a 10yr old kid...girls like it when he bothers them... so in general do girls like it when they are bothered, poked, tapping them then turning away? Also since im the kind of guy who just sits there, and laughs at jokes they make once in a while...should i change my attitude..start bugging them more and acting a bit more stupid???

02-15-2005, 09:09 PM	#2
FuriousSam Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: 862 Age: 28 Posts: 188	Don't change yourself if you think that will help you get girls because it won't. Change yourself because you want to change for yourself. And you said that you are a quiet type, so while you are on the street next time say hi to some cute girls. You don't have to say anything, just hi and a smile. Keep doing that and after a while, you will be comfortable talking to people. You asked if girls likes to be bothered by someone that you think is acting like a 10 year old? Well, put yourself in their shoes. Do you like some girl that comes up to you and pokes fun at you and have fun with you or do you like the one that just sits there and do nothing? __________________ The one who knows that he knows - listen to him; the one who knows that he doesn't know - teach him; the one who doesn't know that he knows - wake him; the one who doesn't know that he doesn't know - leave him alone.

02-15-2005, 09:13 PM	#3
Inconceivable Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 175	Don't change yourself just to get girls. Change yourself because you want to. I used to be just like that, I was quiet and rarely talked. But one day I decided I didn't want to be like that anymore. I wanted more friends and I wanted to let people know what I thought. I changed because I wanted to...That's what you have to ask yourself---Do I want to change for myself or just to get a girl? Because if it's just to get a girl, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Good Luck! __________________ You don't begin to live until you find something worth dying for.

02-16-2005, 01:08 AM	#5
Double J Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 494	I think girls like to be teased once in a while, but not in a childish way. You see, busting on girls (especially the really hot ones) conveys that you could have fun with her and you don't really care what she thinks about you. There's also something about touching (sometimes called kino) that for some reason seems to make a girl more inclined to view you as "more than friend" material. I don't mean touching in a sexually threatening way, but very subtle. Still, nothing attracts girls more than confidence. __________________ - Everything happens for a reason.

02-16-2005, 02:36 AM	#6
fantasia2004 Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: now if I told you then it would not be a secret anymore! Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 1,319	change for you no one else and they will come __________________ That consciousness is everything and that all things begin with a thought. That we are responsible for our own fate, we reap what we sow, we get what we give, we pull in what we put out. I know these things for sure. Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004

02-15-2005, 09:14 PM	#4
justagirl20f Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 198	Ack! No, definitely don't change your approach. TRUST ME, in a few very short years, you're gonna be the one all the girls get intrigued by, and he's gonna be the one they roll their eyes at and laugh at behind his back (as in "can you believe what that loser did to try and pick me up?!") The problem is, he's learning that girls like to be poked and prodded and teased and maybe at your age now they do. But his approach isn't gonna get him very far with girls in the future, and because of his early learning he is going to find it very difficult to change his approach later on. For goodness sake, don't become irritating just because it gets their attention. Remember, negative attention is still attention. I guess it depends on what kind of attention you're looking for.

02-17-2005, 08:42 AM	#7
odysseus77 Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Boston Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 136	Im not sure I believe in the 10 year old approach...if its flirtatious, and depending on the girl you do it to, then it can be good...its definately better than just sitting there though...Absolutely you should change your personality...romance is a game, and if you ain't playin, you can't win. People who say, you're fine the way you are, just really aint got any better advice...here's mine...if you dont want to meet girls and talk to them, then stay the same and wish that someone will come along...but if you go out and play the game, you will meet lots of girls. I know this first hand. I used to be the very shy guy, I had a girl friend for 2 and a half years, then she tore me in half. I went 6 months of being myself without much luck...then i changed my appearance, and aura about me, and now my only problem is choosing one (which is a big problem though cause none really seem to fit me for a realtionship)....any questions pm me __________________ "Si vis pacem, para bellum" ~If you want peace, prepare for war

04-08-2005, 05:53 AM	#8
mehr als Mensch Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Aurora, IL Age: 23 Posts: 13	Don't go changing who you are because you want something. First of all, you said it yourself, those girls are immature. Changing who you are is just going to attract those same shallow people. If you want girls that you can respect and vice versa, then I suggest that you become who you are. Don't care what other people think about you either. Just be confident, assertive, and comfortable with who you are, and you won't regret it. __________________ "Become who you are." Friedrich Nietzsche

04-11-2005, 04:50 PM	#9
fantasia2004 Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: now if I told you then it would not be a secret anymore! Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 1,319	you cannot change your personality just some things about you you did not do before anymore. __________________ That consciousness is everything and that all things begin with a thought. That we are responsible for our own fate, we reap what we sow, we get what we give, we pull in what we put out. I know these things for sure. Madonna, O Magazine, January 2004