Alone Time. How often?

worknesh · 02-01-2005, 03:03 PM

For those of you who have a SO, how often do you or your partner have alone time on the weekend? Do you ever feel slighted or rejected if they want to do something away from you on a Friday or Saturday night?

I know alone time is good. Definitely good. My bf always wants to be with me...or should I say "wanted". He calls today and asks if I mind if he goes to play poker with the guys this Friday. I say that's cool. But inside, I have to admit, it feels like wow, here comes the decline...the loss of interest...slighted.

Day_Walker · 02-01-2005, 03:14 PM

This doesnt necessarly have to be the downward spirial that you are thinking. Keep an open mind and see what happens with the situation. This seems to be a common problem you know that alone time is a good thing but you dont KNOW that it is a good thing. At this point I wouldnt overreact.

Luscious · 02-01-2005, 03:16 PM

If it doesn't becomes a habit and he still gives you the attention then you shouldn't worry about it, b/c even though he's in a relationship he can't forget his friends and neither should you. It feels weird b/c yall are always together but I don't think its anything to worry about.

Blue Skittles · 02-01-2005, 04:23 PM

I think alone time is great. I used to date people and spend every waking minute together, and it really takes a lot out of the relationship. I don't think I would ever go back to that again - I would definately take advantage of girls night outs/guys night outs. Go party go have fun - thats what life is all about, ya know? Its not about spending every minute with the same person - that gets boring. Seriously it does - no matter how much u love the person. Ya gotta live life and live it good. In my opinion.

HajiMaji · 02-01-2005, 05:27 PM

This is what i say. Do whatever you need to do to make your personality feel satisfied. There was a time in my last relationship where i felt perfect. I would go to my buddies place working on creative projects, then anotherday go play football with some work friends. Each night though, coming home to my now ex girlfriend was the greatest feeling. It was so nice to be doing everything i wanted. If she wanted to be with me all the time my personal growth and happiness would not have been so large. You gotta do everything you want or youll freak out too much. If being around him is stopping you from hanging out with friends (Something we all need to do) then you gotta handle that.

Vanilla · 02-01-2005, 05:34 PM

I really think it varies. My boyfriend and I had the same circle of friends before we started dating, and we always felt like we wernt like them and kind of wished we wernt there. We didnt know we both felt the same way until we both got together.

Since then the past two years we have been inseperable. We are the best of friends, and lovers as well. We are with eachother everyday, we volunteer together. The only times we're apart is when we go to school and work.

People warned us, you'll get bored, in 6 mos it'll kill the relationship. Its been two years and we wouldnt change a thing of how we've done it. Everyday gets better. Each second gets better. And even though we see eachother EVERYDAY when we're away from eachother we textmessage or email eachother. So really it all depends on the relationship.

I have been in other relationships where there was alone time. It usually ended up being one of us liked alone time too much. Some poeple i know can't be with their partner like I am so much, they get suffocated. It really depends on you. See how you feel.

Remember, just make sure he doesnt put anything or anyone else before you. Make sure it doesnt become a habit, and that he NEVER cancels your plans to go out with the guys. Then that should be a problem. But if he asks in advance and you guys really had no plans, and its once in a while it shouldnt be a problem.

02-01-2005, 03:03 PM	#1
worknesh Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 15	Alone Time. How often? For those of you who have a SO, how often do you or your partner have alone time on the weekend? Do you ever feel slighted or rejected if they want to do something away from you on a Friday or Saturday night? I know alone time is good. Definitely good. My bf always wants to be with me...or should I say "wanted". He calls today and asks if I mind if he goes to play poker with the guys this Friday. I say that's cool. But inside, I have to admit, it feels like wow, here comes the decline...the loss of interest...slighted.

02-01-2005, 03:14 PM	#2
Day_Walker Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 4,884	This doesnt necessarly have to be the downward spirial that you are thinking. Keep an open mind and see what happens with the situation. This seems to be a common problem you know that alone time is a good thing but you dont KNOW that it is a good thing. At this point I wouldnt overreact. __________________ "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

02-01-2005, 03:16 PM	#3
Luscious Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Age: 27 Posts: 134	If it doesn't becomes a habit and he still gives you the attention then you shouldn't worry about it, b/c even though he's in a relationship he can't forget his friends and neither should you. It feels weird b/c yall are always together but I don't think its anything to worry about. __________________ Don't marry the person that you can live with but the one you can't live without.

02-01-2005, 05:34 PM	#6
Vanilla Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: les etats-unis Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 515	I really think it varies. My boyfriend and I had the same circle of friends before we started dating, and we always felt like we wernt like them and kind of wished we wernt there. We didnt know we both felt the same way until we both got together. Since then the past two years we have been inseperable. We are the best of friends, and lovers as well. We are with eachother everyday, we volunteer together. The only times we're apart is when we go to school and work. People warned us, you'll get bored, in 6 mos it'll kill the relationship. Its been two years and we wouldnt change a thing of how we've done it. Everyday gets better. Each second gets better. And even though we see eachother EVERYDAY when we're away from eachother we textmessage or email eachother. So really it all depends on the relationship. I have been in other relationships where there was alone time. It usually ended up being one of us liked alone time too much. Some poeple i know can't be with their partner like I am so much, they get suffocated. It really depends on you. See how you feel. Remember, just make sure he doesnt put anything or anyone else before you. Make sure it doesnt become a habit, and that he NEVER cancels your plans to go out with the guys. Then that should be a problem. But if he asks in advance and you guys really had no plans, and its once in a while it shouldnt be a problem. __________________ Vanilla

02-01-2005, 04:23 PM	#4
Blue Skittles Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Canada Age: 26 Posts: 1,091	I think alone time is great. I used to date people and spend every waking minute together, and it really takes a lot out of the relationship. I don't think I would ever go back to that again - I would definately take advantage of girls night outs/guys night outs. Go party go have fun - thats what life is all about, ya know? Its not about spending every minute with the same person - that gets boring. Seriously it does - no matter how much u love the person. Ya gotta live life and live it good. In my opinion.

02-01-2005, 05:27 PM	#5
HajiMaji Offline Gold Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,081	This is what i say. Do whatever you need to do to make your personality feel satisfied. There was a time in my last relationship where i felt perfect. I would go to my buddies place working on creative projects, then anotherday go play football with some work friends. Each night though, coming home to my now ex girlfriend was the greatest feeling. It was so nice to be doing everything i wanted. If she wanted to be with me all the time my personal growth and happiness would not have been so large. You gotta do everything you want or youll freak out too much. If being around him is stopping you from hanging out with friends (Something we all need to do) then you gotta handle that.