Online dating...anyone tried it?

caz83 · 11-06-2009, 04:48 PM

Hi,
So after a bad break up from my longterm boyfriend I have found myself single for the first time in 5 years and ready to start dating again. My job doesnt lend itself to meeting people so I have decided to give online dating a go..but Im a bit nervous. I am fine with the emailing and chatting..but dont know that I would have the courage to meet up with anyone that I meet online. because you hear such horror stories.
I have joined "mysinglefriend.com" (a UK site) where you cant join yourself, you have to get a friend to reccomend you and write a character profile..so that makes me feel a bit better about the people on there, as their friends have put them on the site and have good things to say. But I still dont know if I could go through with meeting anyone for a date. Has anyone else had this problem? or have you met up with someone from online and how did it go??

gsxr104 · 11-06-2009, 04:58 PM

I think you're taking a huge risk by on-line dating. You honestly don't know who you're going to be with. as long as you keep things on-line I guess it's ok, but beware of giving out personal info and who you go meet!

coolgirl · 11-06-2009, 05:02 PM

I had 2 bad experinces from a dating site. After the horrible exerpinces i had I learned not to trust the dating site anymore because you dont know who your dealing with. I would say be carefull with the person you get to talk too. Dont jump into anything fast.

caz83 · 11-06-2009, 05:15 PM

What do you mean by 'bad experiences'? if you dont mind me asking. Yeah, im quite wary about it. Although, my sisters friend met someone through match.com and they now live togther and my good friend met someone on plentyoffish and they are now in a long term relationship. I just dont know, for everyone who says its ok, there are people who also say its not. I think that however long I am talking to someone for online, i would still be wary about meeting. I think the website i have gone on is a bit better in that they have to have a freind sign up for them and write a testimonial...so it makes the people seem a bit more 'normal' I suppose. I dont know

Batya33 · 11-06-2009, 05:19 PM

I met men through on line dating sites and print personal ads - probably about 100 total, e-mailed with hundreds (I was very selective about who I would meet in person). I think it's very unfair to the people who post profiles and spend time deciding whether to meet and a total waste of time to participate in a dating site if you really don't think you'd ever meet someone in person. It's a dating site, not a chatting site. I would have been annoyed if someone wasted my time like that - I was fine if he decided not to meet but if he knew in advance he most probably wouldn't meet anyone in person that would annoy me.

I took safety precautions by screening the person on the phone, doing internet searches where I could to confirm information and meeting in a public place for coffee and not going in their car the first time we met.

Most of the men I met were pleasant and normal. A few of them were not. I thought that was far better odds than meeting someone in a bar.

I think it is far riskier to go home with someone you meet randomly (for example) than to meet a stranger for coffee in a public place.

caz83 · 11-06-2009, 05:21 PM

also...at the moment I am back living with my parents after splitting with my boyfriend (we lived together) I'm 26 so should beable to do what I want..but I know that if I was going out to meet someone that I met online, I wouldnt beablt to tell my mum and dad because they would kill me! and so that makes me think...if I have to lie about it, does that mean I shouldnt be doing it!? like, do I already know its a bad idea?

Batya33 · 11-06-2009, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caz83

also...at the moment I am back living with my parents after splitting with my boyfriend (we lived together) I'm 26 so should beable to do what I want..but I know that if I was going out to meet someone that I met online, I wouldnt beablt to tell my mum and dad because they would kill me! and so that makes me think...if I have to lie about it, does that mean I shouldnt be doing it!? like, do I already know its a bad idea?

I guess it depends on whether your parents have accurate information about what you are doing and with whom. And it's not someone you "met on line" - you are meeting a person you had contact with through an on line site to see if in the future you should go on a real date. Would your parents let you go to a bar or a club at night? If yes, isn't that riskier?

caz83 · 11-06-2009, 05:36 PM

I usdertand your point, but I didnt say that I have already decided that I dont want to meet up with anyone! I do, thats why I am on there! ...but I would be very very nervous about it and so I just want to know if I have anything to worry about or what other peoples experiences are. It would all depend on the person as to whether I decide to meet.
I suppose what you say is right, going to a bar to purposfully meet someone for a drink is no different to going to a bar and having a drink with someone who just happens to be in there. As long as I dont go home with them

glegend · 11-06-2009, 05:48 PM

I've had some mixed feeling with online dating. I've met a few girls. I've messaged a lot of girls and only a few have responded to me.

The worst experience that I've had so far is that one of the girls called me out one day by calling me a stalker, which is ridiculous. Since I had not spoken to her in a few weeks. I did add her on facebook and she did not like that, so she rejected the request. I messaged her one day, she gave me a bs excuse that did not logically make any sense, she made up some excuse that msn wouldn't let her sign in, she then expressed her feelings towards me saying I'm a stalker. I basically told her, "ok I'm sorry for bugging you and trying to be friends, I'm even sorry for talking to you in the first place, I won't message you and I'll even delete my profile from the site because I'm sick and tired of it". That has been the worst experience ever.

There are two girls that I would say are the best. Both like me for me and I really think one of them I have a good chance with. I'm just waiting for her to graduate high school, cause she 17 and in grader 12. So I don;t want to date her until she is at least out of high school. But I am still talking with her. I've met another gril too and I cherrish out friendship.

Overall the online dating thing is just as bad as the real deal.

In the Dark · 11-06-2009, 05:56 PM

WOW!!!
Thats disgusting behaviour. GLegend

Being nice to them and then all of a sudden they decide nah not into him.
I'm going to make lame excuses for why I'm not replying then nail him by callinghim a stalker.
Being called a stalker?!

I did the online dating thing once but it didn't work out.
I ended up dumping her but i wrote her a long letter as to why, as I had found someone where I was living.
We still kept in touch until she found someone though as I still cared for her.

11-06-2009, 04:48 PM	#1
caz83 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 73	Online dating...anyone tried it? Hi, So after a bad break up from my longterm boyfriend I have found myself single for the first time in 5 years and ready to start dating again. My job doesnt lend itself to meeting people so I have decided to give online dating a go..but Im a bit nervous. I am fine with the emailing and chatting..but dont know that I would have the courage to meet up with anyone that I meet online. because you hear such horror stories. I have joined "mysinglefriend.com" (a UK site) where you cant join yourself, you have to get a friend to reccomend you and write a character profile..so that makes me feel a bit better about the people on there, as their friends have put them on the site and have good things to say. But I still dont know if I could go through with meeting anyone for a date. Has anyone else had this problem? or have you met up with someone from online and how did it go??

11-06-2009, 05:48 PM	#9
glegend Offline Gold Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 2,429	I've had some mixed feeling with online dating. I've met a few girls. I've messaged a lot of girls and only a few have responded to me. The worst experience that I've had so far is that one of the girls called me out one day by calling me a stalker, which is ridiculous. Since I had not spoken to her in a few weeks. I did add her on facebook and she did not like that, so she rejected the request. I messaged her one day, she gave me a bs excuse that did not logically make any sense, she made up some excuse that msn wouldn't let her sign in, she then expressed her feelings towards me saying I'm a stalker. I basically told her, "ok I'm sorry for bugging you and trying to be friends, I'm even sorry for talking to you in the first place, I won't message you and I'll even delete my profile from the site because I'm sick and tired of it". That has been the worst experience ever. There are two girls that I would say are the best. Both like me for me and I really think one of them I have a good chance with. I'm just waiting for her to graduate high school, cause she 17 and in grader 12. So I don;t want to date her until she is at least out of high school. But I am still talking with her. I've met another gril too and I cherrish out friendship. Overall the online dating thing is just as bad as the real deal. __________________ The car doesn't make the driver, the driver makes the car It's not the ride, it's the rider.

11-06-2009, 05:56 PM	#10
In the Dark Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: New Zealand Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 865	WOW!!! Thats disgusting behaviour. GLegend Being nice to them and then all of a sudden they decide nah not into him. I'm going to make lame excuses for why I'm not replying then nail him by callinghim a stalker. Being called a stalker?! I did the online dating thing once but it didn't work out. I ended up dumping her but i wrote her a long letter as to why, as I had found someone where I was living. We still kept in touch until she found someone though as I still cared for her. __________________ Shhhh......

11-06-2009, 04:58 PM	#2
gsxr104 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Texas Gender: Male Posts: 650	I think you're taking a huge risk by on-line dating. You honestly don't know who you're going to be with. as long as you keep things on-line I guess it's ok, but beware of giving out personal info and who you go meet!

11-06-2009, 05:02 PM	#3
coolgirl Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Gender: Female Posts: 271	I had 2 bad experinces from a dating site. After the horrible exerpinces i had I learned not to trust the dating site anymore because you dont know who your dealing with. I would say be carefull with the person you get to talk too. Dont jump into anything fast.

11-06-2009, 05:15 PM	#4
caz83 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 73	What do you mean by 'bad experiences'? if you dont mind me asking. Yeah, im quite wary about it. Although, my sisters friend met someone through match.com and they now live togther and my good friend met someone on plentyoffish and they are now in a long term relationship. I just dont know, for everyone who says its ok, there are people who also say its not. I think that however long I am talking to someone for online, i would still be wary about meeting. I think the website i have gone on is a bit better in that they have to have a freind sign up for them and write a testimonial...so it makes the people seem a bit more 'normal' I suppose. I dont know

11-06-2009, 05:19 PM	#5
Batya33 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,059	I met men through on line dating sites and print personal ads - probably about 100 total, e-mailed with hundreds (I was very selective about who I would meet in person). I think it's very unfair to the people who post profiles and spend time deciding whether to meet and a total waste of time to participate in a dating site if you really don't think you'd ever meet someone in person. It's a dating site, not a chatting site. I would have been annoyed if someone wasted my time like that - I was fine if he decided not to meet but if he knew in advance he most probably wouldn't meet anyone in person that would annoy me. I took safety precautions by screening the person on the phone, doing internet searches where I could to confirm information and meeting in a public place for coffee and not going in their car the first time we met. Most of the men I met were pleasant and normal. A few of them were not. I thought that was far better odds than meeting someone in a bar. I think it is far riskier to go home with someone you meet randomly (for example) than to meet a stranger for coffee in a public place.

11-06-2009, 05:21 PM	#6
caz83 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 73	also...at the moment I am back living with my parents after splitting with my boyfriend (we lived together) I'm 26 so should beable to do what I want..but I know that if I was going out to meet someone that I met online, I wouldnt beablt to tell my mum and dad because they would kill me! and so that makes me think...if I have to lie about it, does that mean I shouldnt be doing it!? like, do I already know its a bad idea?

11-06-2009, 05:36 PM	#8
caz83 Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 73	I usdertand your point, but I didnt say that I have already decided that I dont want to meet up with anyone! I do, thats why I am on there! ...but I would be very very nervous about it and so I just want to know if I have anything to worry about or what other peoples experiences are. It would all depend on the person as to whether I decide to meet. I suppose what you say is right, going to a bar to purposfully meet someone for a drink is no different to going to a bar and having a drink with someone who just happens to be in there. As long as I dont go home with them