I should have moved on along time ago

lostmyworld · 11-06-2009, 04:38 PM

My ex left me a while ago saying she was loved me and needed space.

I tried to move on but I know I was holding on to her sorting out her stuff and coming back I was completely in love with her.

I gave her that space and tried very hard not to contact her. She eventually text me a couple of months later asking to meet up.
I admit I got my hopes up then a couple of days before she cancelled.

Don't hear from her again for a while until I give in and ask if she still wants to meet. I also ask why she cancelled before. She said she wasn't ready.

Weeks later she texts me 'I'm listening to (my favourite band) thinking of you......'
I respond keeping it cool but as the conversation goes on she makes it clear that she really misses me but only wants to be friends.

It hurts alot. Today after 3 weeks of should I shouldn't I try to be friends I finally give in and ask her if she wants to meet me. It probably wasn't a good idea. I have so much going on in my life with work and family issues I thought I can but try as much as it would be hard I could do with some friends to talk to right now. I know it would be hard but maybe part of me needed to see her to finally move on. We split up via text and I always hoped she would come back but even if she wasn't I needed to see her to hear it.

Anyway she responds - yeah great when were you thinking?. The conversation continues to she doesn't want to meet me unless I am ready.
I say I don't know if I will ever be ready but I want to see her.
Then the line.
I'm sorry I have moved on and am seeing someone else.

Oh my god what a fool have I been hanging on for so long. I was trying to all along I've had 2 sides of me one the she completely messed me around I hate her side and the other she's just confused give her time side.
Not hearing from her I didn't have a clue what I she was thinking.
I just wished she'd broken up with me by saying 'it's over' 'I don't want to be with you'
I feel so stupid now. All those words she did say when we were together and even when 'needing space' seem meaningless. why did I hold on? why did I believe her? Why do I even care 6 months later. This is crazy but right now I think I'm hurting more than ever.

I know she said a few months ago she only wanted to be friends but i still never expected this especially with the 'I'm thinking of you' message. what sort of a person sends that to an ex if they are with someone else?

I responded with all sorts of stuff saying how she's hurt me, up until now any communication I had I tried to keep it cool. I guess I didn't want to push her away but now I don't think I will ever see or hear from her again so I at least want her to know how she's made me feel how screwed over I feel.

I know I'm crazy I should have moved on as well I hate feeling like this. If anyone else is going through this don't hold on.
Maybe in my case NC wasn't the best option. I have been keeping busy but deep down I was holding on. Maybe for my own good after the initial space period I should have asked her straight out how she was feeling rather than being friendly so her messages. Then maybe I would have felt this pain then and moved on by now.

I just feel such a fool and it hurts so much. Please don't tell me to move on I am fully aware that I should have done that months ago.

Right now I feel sick but I guess maybe now I can start moving on and I now know for sure I cannot be friends.

Takotsubo · 11-06-2009, 06:37 PM

Be strong. You can't just move on, it's not so easy. Give yourself time, but at least now you have the answer you need.

The recovery starts now.

lostmyworld · 11-07-2009, 06:37 AM

I just feel such a fool she's been moving on with her life and all the time I've just been thinking of her. I don't know how to get her out of my head.

I should have moved on months ago she doesn't care about me. Even writing those words brings me to tears. I feel so messed up :'(

mi-amor · 11-07-2009, 09:06 AM

lostworld. sorry about what's been going on.

your ex is a pretty mixed up girl. she really has took you for a ride, even if it was unintentional. just the fact that one foolish kiss can bring on such distrust shows she's not on a even level. and now to be dating somone else so quickly? err dahh!

i cant blame you for hanging on as she never gave you closure. and you shouldn't feel a fool because you didn't know the score.

its no use thinking about how you should have been moving on all this time because you didn't know. now you do, so you will start today.

be thankful that its over if you can. she has done you a favour which you will realise big time later on. start working on you. stay off the scene and try to make friends elsewhere.

chin up. x

11-06-2009, 04:38 PM	#1
lostmyworld Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: UK Gender: Female Posts: 54	I should have moved on along time ago My ex left me a while ago saying she was loved me and needed space. I tried to move on but I know I was holding on to her sorting out her stuff and coming back I was completely in love with her. I gave her that space and tried very hard not to contact her. She eventually text me a couple of months later asking to meet up. I admit I got my hopes up then a couple of days before she cancelled. Don't hear from her again for a while until I give in and ask if she still wants to meet. I also ask why she cancelled before. She said she wasn't ready. Weeks later she texts me 'I'm listening to (my favourite band) thinking of you......' I respond keeping it cool but as the conversation goes on she makes it clear that she really misses me but only wants to be friends. It hurts alot. Today after 3 weeks of should I shouldn't I try to be friends I finally give in and ask her if she wants to meet me. It probably wasn't a good idea. I have so much going on in my life with work and family issues I thought I can but try as much as it would be hard I could do with some friends to talk to right now. I know it would be hard but maybe part of me needed to see her to finally move on. We split up via text and I always hoped she would come back but even if she wasn't I needed to see her to hear it. Anyway she responds - yeah great when were you thinking?. The conversation continues to she doesn't want to meet me unless I am ready. I say I don't know if I will ever be ready but I want to see her. Then the line. I'm sorry I have moved on and am seeing someone else. Oh my god what a fool have I been hanging on for so long. I was trying to all along I've had 2 sides of me one the she completely messed me around I hate her side and the other she's just confused give her time side. Not hearing from her I didn't have a clue what I she was thinking. I just wished she'd broken up with me by saying 'it's over' 'I don't want to be with you' I feel so stupid now. All those words she did say when we were together and even when 'needing space' seem meaningless. why did I hold on? why did I believe her? Why do I even care 6 months later. This is crazy but right now I think I'm hurting more than ever. I know she said a few months ago she only wanted to be friends but i still never expected this especially with the 'I'm thinking of you' message. what sort of a person sends that to an ex if they are with someone else? I responded with all sorts of stuff saying how she's hurt me, up until now any communication I had I tried to keep it cool. I guess I didn't want to push her away but now I don't think I will ever see or hear from her again so I at least want her to know how she's made me feel how screwed over I feel. I know I'm crazy I should have moved on as well I hate feeling like this. If anyone else is going through this don't hold on. Maybe in my case NC wasn't the best option. I have been keeping busy but deep down I was holding on. Maybe for my own good after the initial space period I should have asked her straight out how she was feeling rather than being friendly so her messages. Then maybe I would have felt this pain then and moved on by now. I just feel such a fool and it hurts so much. Please don't tell me to move on I am fully aware that I should have done that months ago. Right now I feel sick but I guess maybe now I can start moving on and I now know for sure I cannot be friends.

11-07-2009, 09:06 AM	#4
mi-amor Online Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: north england Gender: Male Age: 42 Posts: 48	lostworld. sorry about what's been going on. your ex is a pretty mixed up girl. she really has took you for a ride, even if it was unintentional. just the fact that one foolish kiss can bring on such distrust shows she's not on a even level. and now to be dating somone else so quickly? err dahh! i cant blame you for hanging on as she never gave you closure. and you shouldn't feel a fool because you didn't know the score. its no use thinking about how you should have been moving on all this time because you didn't know. now you do, so you will start today. be thankful that its over if you can. she has done you a favour which you will realise big time later on. start working on you. stay off the scene and try to make friends elsewhere. chin up. x __________________ just another minor tragedy in which i played a major part

11-06-2009, 06:37 PM	#2
Takotsubo Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SF Gender: Male Posts: 102	Be strong. You can't just move on, it's not so easy. Give yourself time, but at least now you have the answer you need. The recovery starts now.

11-07-2009, 06:37 AM	#3
lostmyworld Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: UK Gender: Female Posts: 54	I just feel such a fool she's been moving on with her life and all the time I've just been thinking of her. I don't know how to get her out of my head. I should have moved on months ago she doesn't care about me. Even writing those words brings me to tears. I feel so messed up :'(