Is this normal?

DaveReInvented · 11-06-2009, 04:33 PM

My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago tomorrow... I'm a 34 y/old man and am still getting overwhelmed with grief from time to time - sobbing.

I think much of the emotion is from stuff never completely dealt with from my divorce - we met prior to the ends of our divorces.

I'm getting on with daily life, but am fixated on her - I miss her dearly and want her back (but not going to crawl or call her). Is it normal that I can't seem to get her out of my mind yet? I'm scared - I want to let her go and get on with life...

Theblueman123 · 11-06-2009, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveReInvented

My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago tomorrow... I'm a 34 y/old man and am still getting overwhelmed with grief from time to time - sobbing.

I think much of the emotion is from stuff never completely dealt with from my divorce - we met prior to the ends of our divorces.

I'm getting on with daily life, but am fixated on her - I miss her dearly and want her back (but not going to crawl or call her). Is it normal that I can't seem to get her out of my mind yet? I'm scared - I want to let her go and get on with life...

Yes it's normal, you're experiencing loss. In time it will resolve itself, but you have to take measure to heal yourself as well. It's you're time now, are you ready?

gsxr104 · 11-06-2009, 04:47 PM

Yes, it is normal and you have to get your mind off of her. I don't know if this was a mutual break up or you or her or what. Whatever the case you two broke up. Let me tell you something. If I can get over it, you certainly can. I was head over heels prime time in love with this girl. She sent me a text one afternoon on her lunch break. No known reason, not a clue. She just did. Talking about a blow.

It hurts, it drives you crazy and you cant sleep eat or even think straight. Again, you just have to get your mind on other things to keep you busy. Then one day at a time it gets easier and easier until you just don't think about her as much.

Who knows, she may come looking you up in a month or two, but you can't sit around counting on it. I wouldn't recommend going out on the town if you're still that hurt because chances are you're going to hurt worse or hurt someone else. Take some time to heal and eventually things will become more and more normal. You'll know when you're ready. Best of luck.

journeynow · 11-06-2009, 04:48 PM

Yes, it seems normal, and it's rough. I'm sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.

DaveReInvented · 11-06-2009, 05:08 PM

Thanks all - It was really kind-of mutual. She said she loves me and I love her... Her post divorce situation is very tough (continued issue with ex-husband). She has her kids constantly, works full-time and is very overwhelmed right now. I know she needs to use the energy she'd spend on us on herself and her kids. It's just hard to accept the circumstance of two people loving each other but not being together... I guess I have to be patient with myself and understand that it isn't easy.

11-06-2009, 04:33 PM	#1
DaveReInvented Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA Gender: Male Posts: 88	Is this normal? My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago tomorrow... I'm a 34 y/old man and am still getting overwhelmed with grief from time to time - sobbing. I think much of the emotion is from stuff never completely dealt with from my divorce - we met prior to the ends of our divorces. I'm getting on with daily life, but am fixated on her - I miss her dearly and want her back (but not going to crawl or call her). Is it normal that I can't seem to get her out of my mind yet? I'm scared - I want to let her go and get on with life...

11-06-2009, 04:47 PM	#3
gsxr104 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Texas Gender: Male Posts: 650	Yes, it is normal and you have to get your mind off of her. I don't know if this was a mutual break up or you or her or what. Whatever the case you two broke up. Let me tell you something. If I can get over it, you certainly can. I was head over heels prime time in love with this girl. She sent me a text one afternoon on her lunch break. No known reason, not a clue. She just did. Talking about a blow. It hurts, it drives you crazy and you cant sleep eat or even think straight. Again, you just have to get your mind on other things to keep you busy. Then one day at a time it gets easier and easier until you just don't think about her as much. Who knows, she may come looking you up in a month or two, but you can't sit around counting on it. I wouldn't recommend going out on the town if you're still that hurt because chances are you're going to hurt worse or hurt someone else. Take some time to heal and eventually things will become more and more normal. You'll know when you're ready. Best of luck.

11-06-2009, 04:48 PM	#4
journeynow Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: in the woods Gender: Female Posts: 458	Yes, it seems normal, and it's rough. I'm sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.

11-06-2009, 05:08 PM	#5
DaveReInvented Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA Gender: Male Posts: 88	Thanks all - It was really kind-of mutual. She said she loves me and I love her... Her post divorce situation is very tough (continued issue with ex-husband). She has her kids constantly, works full-time and is very overwhelmed right now. I know she needs to use the energy she'd spend on us on herself and her kids. It's just hard to accept the circumstance of two people loving each other but not being together... I guess I have to be patient with myself and understand that it isn't easy.