When is it official?

Car Chick · 11-06-2009, 04:06 PM

Finally! It's happened! I am going on a date with the man I have been in love with forever!

I don't have a lot of dating expierience though, so I was wondering. When do you become official boyfriend and girlfriend? How do you know when you are? How do you bring up whether your are going steady or seeing others? When do you say I love you?

He's got a lot more expierence dating than I do, and I just don't even know where to begin. I am so excited, yet so nervous all at the same time.

hockeyboy · 11-06-2009, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Car Chick

Finally! It's happened! I am going on a date with the man I have been in love with forever!

I don't have a lot of dating expierience though, so I was wondering. When do you become official boyfriend and girlfriend? How do you know when you are? How do you bring up whether your are going steady or seeing others? When do you say I love you?

He's got a lot more expierence dating than I do, and I just don't even know where to begin. I am so excited, yet so nervous all at the same time.

These are not things you even need to think about or worry about before a first date.

Especially when to say "I love you"

aneffigy123 · 11-06-2009, 04:12 PM

Congrats! But, as hockeyboy says, slow down. One date does not mean you will ever be exclusive, or boyfriend/girlfriend, or love each other, certainly.

I think the answers to your questions vary from person to person and couple to couple. Generally, you become "official" when you discuss it. Some couples discuss it after a few days, some after several months. Typically I feel comfortable bringing it up after about a month or six weeks of dating. I knew we were boyfriend/girlfriend because during that discussion, that's what we decided upon. I think the going steady versus seeing other people thing is also a part of this same conversation.

I love you is another one that really varies depending on the couple. I prefer to wait until I absolutely, 100% know and am ready to scream it from the rooftops, which may take several months. People who say it after a month or two make me very nervous and anxious.

Car Chick · 11-06-2009, 04:15 PM

Good advice. He's already talked about us getting married. That's one reason why I am so confused. We are a little unusual. We've already kissed. But then we decided to wait on the relationship because we weren't sure about it. I love him, but I was worried about my family because I didn't think they would approve of him. But it turns out my mom is ok with it. I haven't talked to my dad about it yet.

aneffigy123 · 11-06-2009, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Car Chick

Good advice. He's already talked about us getting married. That's one reason why I am so confused. We are a little unusual. We've already kissed. But then we decided to wait on the relationship because we weren't sure about it. I love him, but I was worried about my family because I didn't think they would approve of him. But it turns out my mom is ok with it. I haven't talked to my dad about it yet.

Well, it seems that my advice isn't really valid anymore then. How long have you known each other? How often have you seen each other? You've already kissed, but never been on a date, but yet he wants to marry you?!

Scorpion Fury · 11-06-2009, 04:26 PM

and he's 44??

aneffigy123 · 11-06-2009, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorpion Fury

and he's 44??

Oh my.. I didn't read her other threads. Interesting.

gsxr104 · 11-06-2009, 04:50 PM

This guy is old enough to be your father..... RED FLAG !!!

HeartGoesOn · 11-06-2009, 04:52 PM

Any guy that talks about getting married before even going on the first date with me, would certainly make a red flag pop up.

Batya33 · 11-06-2009, 04:59 PM

Yes, I agree. If he's already talked about marriage I think you need to ask him whether his intention is to be exclusive from the beginning given his intention to marry you in the future. If he says he doesn't want to be exclusive then I wouldn't take the marriage talk seriously.

11-06-2009, 04:06 PM	#1
Car Chick Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 327	When is it official? Finally! It's happened! I am going on a date with the man I have been in love with forever! I don't have a lot of dating expierience though, so I was wondering. When do you become official boyfriend and girlfriend? How do you know when you are? How do you bring up whether your are going steady or seeing others? When do you say I love you? He's got a lot more expierence dating than I do, and I just don't even know where to begin. I am so excited, yet so nervous all at the same time.

11-06-2009, 04:12 PM	#3
aneffigy123 Online Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Chicago Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 519	Congrats! But, as hockeyboy says, slow down. One date does not mean you will ever be exclusive, or boyfriend/girlfriend, or love each other, certainly. I think the answers to your questions vary from person to person and couple to couple. Generally, you become "official" when you discuss it. Some couples discuss it after a few days, some after several months. Typically I feel comfortable bringing it up after about a month or six weeks of dating. I knew we were boyfriend/girlfriend because during that discussion, that's what we decided upon. I think the going steady versus seeing other people thing is also a part of this same conversation. I love you is another one that really varies depending on the couple. I prefer to wait until I absolutely, 100% know and am ready to scream it from the rooftops, which may take several months. People who say it after a month or two make me very nervous and anxious. __________________ "Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." Rainer Maria Rilke

11-06-2009, 04:26 PM	#6
Scorpion Fury Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The states Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 4,525	and he's 44?? __________________ Your attitude determines your altitude.

11-06-2009, 04:52 PM	#9
HeartGoesOn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Massachusetts Gender: Female Posts: 2,659	Any guy that talks about getting married before even going on the first date with me, would certainly make a red flag pop up. __________________ ~ Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance... I hope you dance. ~

11-06-2009, 04:15 PM	#4
Car Chick Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 327	Good advice. He's already talked about us getting married. That's one reason why I am so confused. We are a little unusual. We've already kissed. But then we decided to wait on the relationship because we weren't sure about it. I love him, but I was worried about my family because I didn't think they would approve of him. But it turns out my mom is ok with it. I haven't talked to my dad about it yet.

11-06-2009, 04:50 PM	#8
gsxr104 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Texas Gender: Male Posts: 650	This guy is old enough to be your father..... RED FLAG !!!

11-06-2009, 04:59 PM	#10
Batya33 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,062	Yes, I agree. If he's already talked about marriage I think you need to ask him whether his intention is to be exclusive from the beginning given his intention to marry you in the future. If he says he doesn't want to be exclusive then I wouldn't take the marriage talk seriously.