I started crying at a bar when talking about my ex... yet I feel completely over him.

vaporleak · 11-08-2009, 05:58 AM

How embarassing. I feel like the Queen of moving on. He didn't cheat on me, we didn't have a horrible breakup, we just decided to separate. I've literally never looked back, I was excited to date new guys and still am. We dated almost 6 years, and broke up 6ish months ago. My friends asked me about him while sitting at a very busy and rowdy bar tonight, "Hey, how are you doing with the whole **** thing." After only ONE beer, and I'm not a light weight so I wasn't drunk, I started crying when talking about him. I had to go into the bathroom to cool off. I think I said, "I miss how handsome and tall he was.", and that was it, water works. What the hell is wrong with me? I loathe people that dwell on their ex's, please tell me I don't have some kind of repressed issues going on here. Does that sort of thing happen? *sigh*

ter93 · 11-08-2009, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vaporleak

How embarassing. I feel like the Queen of moving on. He didn't cheat on me, we didn't have a horrible breakup, we just decided to separate. I've literally never looked back, I was excited to date new guys and still am. We dated almost 6 years, and broke up 6ish months ago. My friends asked me about him while sitting at a very busy and rowdy bar tonight, "Hey, how are you doing with the whole **** thing." After only ONE beer, and I'm not a light weight so I wasn't drunk, I started crying when talking about him. I had to go into the bathroom to cool off. I think I said, "I miss how handsome and tall he was.", and that was it, water works. What the hell is wrong with me? I loathe people that dwell on their ex's, please tell me I don't have some kind of repressed issues going on here. Does that sort of thing happen? *sigh*

Don't worry, you're fine. If you were with him for 6 years and only broke up recently, you're bound to miss him. It sort of happens

Speranza · 11-08-2009, 07:26 AM

I'm only surprised you're surprised. Why wouldn't you have issues and miss him? If after 6 years you were completely over him and felt no sadness at all, I'd be wondering why. It's okay to miss someone you invested 6 years in! It will pass, just listen to your feelings and do what you need to get through, whether it's dating or being single. Everyone's different.

Why were you embarrassed? How would you feel if you had been there and a friend had done this? Wouldn't you have wanted to be there for her, to listen, to comfort her? Well, try to do that for yourself maybe, and don't listen to anything your inner voice says which has the message 'should' or 'shouldn't' - that's a critical voice and it's not going to be helpful right now.

Just go on being you, and if you need a cry have one, and when it stops, wipe your eyes and carry on... hugs.

dd · 11-08-2009, 07:52 AM

It seems like it was a healthy delayed reaction to your break up. Perhaps you didn't have any feelings when you broke up. Now that everything has subsided your emotions came out. Don't be embarressed.

I was married for six years and ended my marriage. At that time I wasn't really emotional, I was going through the motions of getting divorced having the house sold and going on with my life.

I found out he was dating someone through the grapevine. It turns out that she got pregnant. Of course he didn't know that I knew. One day I was at babies r us buying a gift for a friend. I was curious to see what was on his girlfriend's list. I pulled up the list and saw all these gifts they had requested. At that moment, I started to ball.

We tried to have kids but thank god that we didn't. When I was balling I started having all these thoughts like wow, we were married for a while, how can he go out, meet another girl and get her pregnant. Also thinking, that could have been me, then again, all those times we tried to have kids I didn't get pregnant, it was actually a blessing, but it was my normal reaction and acceptance to my break up with my ex-h.

Does that make sense, I know it's completely different from your story.

11-08-2009, 05:58 AM	#1
vaporleak Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Northeast Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 55	I started crying at a bar when talking about my ex... yet I feel completely over him. How embarassing. I feel like the Queen of moving on. He didn't cheat on me, we didn't have a horrible breakup, we just decided to separate. I've literally never looked back, I was excited to date new guys and still am. We dated almost 6 years, and broke up 6ish months ago. My friends asked me about him while sitting at a very busy and rowdy bar tonight, "Hey, how are you doing with the whole **** thing." After only ONE beer, and I'm not a light weight so I wasn't drunk, I started crying when talking about him. I had to go into the bathroom to cool off. I think I said, "I miss how handsome and tall he was.", and that was it, water works. What the hell is wrong with me? I loathe people that dwell on their ex's, please tell me I don't have some kind of repressed issues going on here. Does that sort of thing happen? sigh __________________ I like pie.

11-08-2009, 07:26 AM	#3
Speranza Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 49 Posts: 722	I'm only surprised you're surprised. Why wouldn't you have issues and miss him? If after 6 years you were completely over him and felt no sadness at all, I'd be wondering why. It's okay to miss someone you invested 6 years in! It will pass, just listen to your feelings and do what you need to get through, whether it's dating or being single. Everyone's different. Why were you embarrassed? How would you feel if you had been there and a friend had done this? Wouldn't you have wanted to be there for her, to listen, to comfort her? Well, try to do that for yourself maybe, and don't listen to anything your inner voice says which has the message 'should' or 'shouldn't' - that's a critical voice and it's not going to be helpful right now. Just go on being you, and if you need a cry have one, and when it stops, wipe your eyes and carry on... hugs. __________________ It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, It is because we do not dare that they are difficult. (Seneca)

11-08-2009, 07:52 AM	#4
dd Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Florida Posts: 145	It seems like it was a healthy delayed reaction to your break up. Perhaps you didn't have any feelings when you broke up. Now that everything has subsided your emotions came out. Don't be embarressed. I was married for six years and ended my marriage. At that time I wasn't really emotional, I was going through the motions of getting divorced having the house sold and going on with my life. I found out he was dating someone through the grapevine. It turns out that she got pregnant. Of course he didn't know that I knew. One day I was at babies r us buying a gift for a friend. I was curious to see what was on his girlfriend's list. I pulled up the list and saw all these gifts they had requested. At that moment, I started to ball. We tried to have kids but thank god that we didn't. When I was balling I started having all these thoughts like wow, we were married for a while, how can he go out, meet another girl and get her pregnant. Also thinking, that could have been me, then again, all those times we tried to have kids I didn't get pregnant, it was actually a blessing, but it was my normal reaction and acceptance to my break up with my ex-h. Does that make sense, I know it's completely different from your story.