He called me fat

misstania33 · 11-08-2009, 04:55 AM

Hi,im new to this site and note sure how this is done but i'll try.Ive recently had a baby in Feb 2009 and during the pregnancy i lost quite a bit of weight that kept dropping off after my baby boy was born.i lost 27 kilos during pregancy and after the birth.i went from a size 18(australian sizes)down to a 12-14.I had the baby on the 5th feb and left hospital on the 7th.I come home to a proud new dad and loving boyfriend but we argued later that night about things which got very bad and he called me "nothing but a fat <removed by mod> 3 times over.It hurt me so much and he says now he didnt mean it but im finding it hard to get over.its hard to show your body and have sex with someone you know obviously doesnt like your body after saying those things to you.my question is he says im wrong because im finding it hard to forget.am i wrong?would everyone else feel secure with someone who called them that?especially after having a baby

ter93 · 11-08-2009, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misstania33

Hi,im new to this site and note sure how this is done but i'll try.Ive recently had a baby in Feb 2009 and during the pregnancy i lost quite a bit of weight that kept dropping off after my baby boy was born.i lost 27 kilos during pregancy and after the birth.i went from a size 18(australian sizes)down to a 12-14.I had the baby on the 5th feb and left hospital on the 7th.I come home to a proud new dad and loving boyfriend but we argued later that night about things which got very bad and he called me "nothing but a fat b$@tch 3 times over.It hurt me so much and he says now he didnt mean it but im finding it hard to get over.its hard to show your body and have sex with someone you know obviously doesnt like your body after saying those things to you.my question is he says im wrong because im finding it hard to forget.am i wrong?would everyone else feel secure with someone who called them that?especially after having a baby

Don't worry. He only said that because he was angry with you, he didn't mean it. I say things that I don't mean all the time in fights.

He still likes your body.
BTW he probably just called you a fat * * * * * because he couldn't think of anything else.

freedom_writer · 11-08-2009, 06:46 AM

It would hurt beign called that by someone who is suposed to love you, but i'd say he said it in the heat of the moment and its the first thing that came to his mind. unfortunatly a lot of people, when they see a woman who's pregnant, they think she's fat. She isn't, she has aother person in side of her! I know some men who are like this. They are just kind of obvlious.

While it would hurt, i would try and let it go. Did it happen in feb of this year and you've been hanging on to it ever since? How is your relationship with him now? Have you or do you have sexx since having your baby?

Jelina · 11-08-2009, 07:30 AM

Don't worry? I would worry. You just carried his kid for 9 months and he calls you a fat b*tch? Does he call you names like this every time you argue with him. Do you call him names? What is he 5? He can't control what comes out of his mouth?

amipushy · 11-08-2009, 07:50 AM

Are you wrong? I don't think its about forgetting, its about forgiving.

You have to ask yourself whether you would want something you said once upon a time in anger to be used against you over and over again? Or would you want to be forgiven and put the whole thing behind you?

Obviously if he is a repeat offender in doing this then the whole situation needs looking at more deeply but as a one off thing and said in anger I think you should try to get over it.

Sure it will take time to rebuild what was damaged (the trust, your self-esteem and body confidence, etc) but if you keep bringing this up it damage your 'family'... Don't do that.

DeviousDevil · 11-08-2009, 12:57 PM

You argued about things...did you say anything that would have provoked him?

Not justifying it, but if you touch a nerve with him, it is all too human to lash out in kind and what woman isn't sensitive about her weight?

metrogirl · 11-08-2009, 01:01 PM

Seriously, who argues with a woman that just gave birth to their baby 2 days earlier?

amipushy · 11-08-2009, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by metrogirl

Seriously, who argues with a woman that just gave birth to their baby 2 days earlier?

Having a baby is an extremely stressful and overwhelming time for both...Late nights, lack of sleep, anxious worries about money and the future, worries about protecting, always providing, being the backbone of the new family...etc....Scary stuff for a new father.

Arguments are never pleasant whenever they occur but those are just some of the things that men worry about and could have contributed.

Kumatora · 11-08-2009, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jelina

Don't worry? I would worry. You just carried his kid for 9 months and he calls you a fat b*tch? Does he call you names like this every time you argue with him. Do you call him names? What is he 5? He can't control what comes out of his mouth?

Amen to this statement and my exact thoughts. Name calling is verbal abuse... don't put up with it. That's no way to treat someone who just gave birth at all. He should of controlled his temper better like an adult.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amipushy

Having a baby is an extremely stressful and overwhelming time for both...Late nights, lack of sleep, anxious worries about money and the future, worries about protecting, always providing, being the backbone of the new family...etc....Scary stuff for a new father.

Then he should of thought about those before stickin' his penis... and started preparing for fatherhood like a real man. Sorry if that sounds crude, but it's the truth (and you wonder why there are a lot of irresponsible parents out there). He needs to grow up and start dealing with responsibility better since he's now a father, not handle them like a high school student. There's no excuse to call a woman a fat B- that's just the same as telling a guy he has a small penis. It's a very personal attack that a lot of women take to heart, especially if it's from their own boyfriends. If my man called me that, his ass would be kicked to the curb!

amipushy · 11-10-2009, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kumatora

Amen to this statement and my exact thoughts. Name calling is verbal abuse... don't put up with it. That's no way to treat someone who just gave birth at all. He should of controlled his temper better like an adult.

Then he should of thought about those before stickin' his penis... and started preparing for fatherhood like a real man. Sorry if that sounds crude, but it's the truth (and you wonder why there are a lot of irresponsible parents out there). He needs to grow up and start dealing with responsibility better since he's now a father, not handle them like a high school student. There's no excuse to call a woman a fat B- that's just the same as telling a guy he has a small penis. It's a very personal attack that a lot of women take to heart, especially if it's from their own boyfriends. If my man called me that, his ass would be kicked to the curb!

Wow. Breaking up a family over something said once in an arguement, how irresponsible is that!!

11-08-2009, 04:55 AM	#1
misstania33 Offline Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Perth Western Australia Gender: Female Age: 35 Posts: 1	He called me fat Hi,im new to this site and note sure how this is done but i'll try.Ive recently had a baby in Feb 2009 and during the pregnancy i lost quite a bit of weight that kept dropping off after my baby boy was born.i lost 27 kilos during pregancy and after the birth.i went from a size 18(australian sizes)down to a 12-14.I had the baby on the 5th feb and left hospital on the 7th.I come home to a proud new dad and loving boyfriend but we argued later that night about things which got very bad and he called me "nothing but a fat <removed by mod> 3 times over.It hurt me so much and he says now he didnt mean it but im finding it hard to get over.its hard to show your body and have sex with someone you know obviously doesnt like your body after saying those things to you.my question is he says im wrong because im finding it hard to forget.am i wrong?would everyone else feel secure with someone who called them that?especially after having a baby Last edited by lady00; 11-10-2009 at 07:31 PM.

11-08-2009, 07:30 AM	#4
Jelina Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: I'll never tell...I'll never tell :) Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 609	Don't worry? I would worry. You just carried his kid for 9 months and he calls you a fat b*tch? Does he call you names like this every time you argue with him. Do you call him names? What is he 5? He can't control what comes out of his mouth? __________________ Life is like photography, you develop from the negatives. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them...

11-08-2009, 01:01 PM	#7
metrogirl Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SGV Gender: Female Age: 39 Posts: 4,686	Seriously, who argues with a woman that just gave birth to their baby 2 days earlier? __________________ Whether one believes in a religion or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion. Dalai Lama Any hope I had for my Seahawks flew out the window when I heard Lofa Tatupu will be out for the rest of the season. (sighs) They call me Ghettro.......Well Scorpion Fury does anyway. LOL

11-08-2009, 06:46 AM	#3
freedom_writer Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 53	It would hurt beign called that by someone who is suposed to love you, but i'd say he said it in the heat of the moment and its the first thing that came to his mind. unfortunatly a lot of people, when they see a woman who's pregnant, they think she's fat. She isn't, she has aother person in side of her! I know some men who are like this. They are just kind of obvlious. While it would hurt, i would try and let it go. Did it happen in feb of this year and you've been hanging on to it ever since? How is your relationship with him now? Have you or do you have sexx since having your baby?

11-08-2009, 07:50 AM	#5
amipushy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 1,823	Are you wrong? I don't think its about forgetting, its about forgiving. You have to ask yourself whether you would want something you said once upon a time in anger to be used against you over and over again? Or would you want to be forgiven and put the whole thing behind you? Obviously if he is a repeat offender in doing this then the whole situation needs looking at more deeply but as a one off thing and said in anger I think you should try to get over it. Sure it will take time to rebuild what was damaged (the trust, your self-esteem and body confidence, etc) but if you keep bringing this up it damage your 'family'... Don't do that.

11-08-2009, 12:57 PM	#6
DeviousDevil Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: England Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 136	You argued about things...did you say anything that would have provoked him? Not justifying it, but if you touch a nerve with him, it is all too human to lash out in kind and what woman isn't sensitive about her weight?