Tired, frustrated and honestly wondering whether it will ever happen...

Ammy · 11-08-2009, 03:10 AM

Hey guys,

It's been a while since I posted on these... but I'm feeling it again.

Everything in my life is on track except the relationship aspect. This year I have developed an amazing social network of friends who I love so much, I have excelled at university, and been well psychologically (after seeking more treatment and starting to live a more healthy life - exercise and diet etc.). I am happy and appreciative of the good things in my life, and I know that people would kill to have some of the things I have... but I am so lonely. I crave affection and companionship...

When I am with my friends, I feel okay, but most of them have partners now and things are changing.. And its fine, I know they will still always be there for me, but I want to have someone of my own.

I used to be so sure it would eventually happen, I was upset it took so long, but I did truly believe I had just been unlucky... But now I am realising that I have dated so many guys, I have tried online dating for years, changed my approach somewhat etc, but nothing works, nothing ever works. I meet people now, I date, but I date men who aren't that interested in me, or who don't interest me AT ALL... Right now I am starting to dislike men, because they don't get me or want me... and I hate that.

I am just thinking I am one of those unlucky people who will remain alone... I know I am only 27, plenty of time and all, but isn't past behaviour and history, the best predicter of the future - then my future is bleak.

Ammy

jettison · 11-08-2009, 03:47 AM

You are in good company. I know sooo many intelligent, attractive women who remain mostly single well into their 30s. Marriage used to be a necessity. Now for women it is viewed mostly as a luxury. Also remember that the vast majority of relationships end. That means that all these "lucky ones" won't be lucky all the time.

dr_styles · 11-08-2009, 04:27 AM

What's with the obsession of trash talking other people's relationships? Sure most do end, but they don't all end badly. The people she sees, I see, or anyone else here sees are all nice, happy relationships. As if they are ALL facades. And a bit of a Captain Obvious, how else do you find the right one to love and get married to.

I'm actually pretty "statistically aware" too though. For instance not many 'first' relationships last, so that just makes me even more worried about the future if I can't even get the first yet. Heh at this rate I'm wondering when I'll ever even get a kiss!

katarina6 · 11-08-2009, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammy

but isn't past behaviour and history, the best predicter of the future - then my future is bleak.

Ammy

Ok I know how you are feeling and hey I'm older than you! If my 20's are an indicator for the rest of my life then I should end it. I was spewing this nonsense to my best friend who told me what I am telling you. Stop thinking that way! She was married to an alcoholic, then had another bad relationship, and is now in a really good relationship with someone who is truly the one for her.

I am still looking like you; we are in the same boat.

jettison · 11-08-2009, 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dr_styles

What's with the obsession of trash talking other people's relationships? Sure most do end, but they don't all end badly. The people she sees, I see, or anyone else here sees are all nice, happy relationships. As if they are ALL facades. And a bit of a Captain Obvious, how else do you find the right one to love and get married to.

I'm actually pretty "statistically aware" too though. For instance not many 'first' relationships last, so that just makes me even more worried about the future if I can't even get the first yet. Heh at this rate I'm wondering when I'll ever even get a kiss!

Trash talking? That's like saying "the sun will go down, and soon there will be night" means "you're trashing talking the sun!"

It's simply biology and nature. Relationships end. Actually EVERY relationship ends. And under the surface of every relationship is a clock, and that clock is ticking. Why be bitter about a simple truth that we all share? There is nothing to be upset about. Death and rebirth, yen and yang. This is merely the essence of our existence.

dr_styles · 11-08-2009, 05:22 AM

haha ok I apologise.

That's way too philosophical and impractical for me anyway

Misskitty16 · 11-08-2009, 10:24 AM

Ammy, have most of these dates been from on-line guys? In general, I have found on-line dating to be a nightmare - these guys are like kids in candy stores. It is okay as one venue of meeting people, just don't make it your only one.

Plastic_Monkey · 11-08-2009, 01:49 PM

Yeah, the women of online dating aren't so great either... for the same reason.

LightbulbSun · 11-08-2009, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jettison

You are in good company. I know sooo many intelligent, attractive women who remain mostly single well into their 30s. Marriage used to be a necessity. Now for women it is viewed mostly as a luxury. Also remember that the vast majority of relationships end. That means that all these "lucky ones" won't be lucky all the time.

Not just women. There are lots of intelligent, attractive men who remain mostly single well into their late 20s and early 30s.

OP, I feel the same way. I'm wondering if I'll ever fall in love. See my thread in Emotions and Feelings, I wrote more about how I feel in that thread.

Misskitty16 · 11-08-2009, 05:02 PM

I read about men juggling 3-4 women at a time they are dating from on-line sites...
To each his own, but that isn't someone I would want to date.
The on-line venue, IMO, breeds players.

I can't speak for the women, since I did not go on-line to meet women.

11-08-2009, 03:10 AM	#1
Ammy Offline Gold Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Sydney, Australia Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 1,081	Tired, frustrated and honestly wondering whether it will ever happen... Hey guys, It's been a while since I posted on these... but I'm feeling it again. Everything in my life is on track except the relationship aspect. This year I have developed an amazing social network of friends who I love so much, I have excelled at university, and been well psychologically (after seeking more treatment and starting to live a more healthy life - exercise and diet etc.). I am happy and appreciative of the good things in my life, and I know that people would kill to have some of the things I have... but I am so lonely. I crave affection and companionship... When I am with my friends, I feel okay, but most of them have partners now and things are changing.. And its fine, I know they will still always be there for me, but I want to have someone of my own. I used to be so sure it would eventually happen, I was upset it took so long, but I did truly believe I had just been unlucky... But now I am realising that I have dated so many guys, I have tried online dating for years, changed my approach somewhat etc, but nothing works, nothing ever works. I meet people now, I date, but I date men who aren't that interested in me, or who don't interest me AT ALL... Right now I am starting to dislike men, because they don't get me or want me... and I hate that. I am just thinking I am one of those unlucky people who will remain alone... I know I am only 27, plenty of time and all, but isn't past behaviour and history, the best predicter of the future - then my future is bleak. Ammy __________________ Prepare yourself to meet, the girl who cannot sleep, dividing every question till the questions are complete - She's always the analyst.

11-08-2009, 03:47 AM	#2
jettison Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: West Bay Posts: 4,969	You are in good company. I know sooo many intelligent, attractive women who remain mostly single well into their 30s. Marriage used to be a necessity. Now for women it is viewed mostly as a luxury. Also remember that the vast majority of relationships end. That means that all these "lucky ones" won't be lucky all the time. __________________ A unique opportunity... If you were at the deathbed of a woman you secretly loved all your life but whom you never had the courage to tell and then she tells you that she secretly loved you all these years, what a great opportunity that would be to practice your "poker face." "I wish someone knew me. I’d pick them apart and find out who I am." - Equestrian Dynamo

11-08-2009, 04:27 AM	#3
dr_styles Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Male Posts: 1,277	What's with the obsession of trash talking other people's relationships? Sure most do end, but they don't all end badly. The people she sees, I see, or anyone else here sees are all nice, happy relationships. As if they are ALL facades. And a bit of a Captain Obvious, how else do you find the right one to love and get married to. I'm actually pretty "statistically aware" too though. For instance not many 'first' relationships last, so that just makes me even more worried about the future if I can't even get the first yet. Heh at this rate I'm wondering when I'll ever even get a kiss! __________________ Ten years ago I never would've thought I'd be in the loveless situation I am in now ...

11-08-2009, 05:22 AM	#6
dr_styles Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Male Posts: 1,277	haha ok I apologise. That's way too philosophical and impractical for me anyway __________________ Ten years ago I never would've thought I'd be in the loveless situation I am in now ...

11-08-2009, 10:24 AM	#7
Misskitty16 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Whisker City Gender: Female Posts: 939	Ammy, have most of these dates been from on-line guys? In general, I have found on-line dating to be a nightmare - these guys are like kids in candy stores. It is okay as one venue of meeting people, just don't make it your only one.

11-08-2009, 01:49 PM	#8
Plastic_Monkey Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Jersey Gender: Male Age: 42 Posts: 63	Yeah, the women of online dating aren't so great either... for the same reason.

11-08-2009, 05:02 PM	#10
Misskitty16 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Whisker City Gender: Female Posts: 939	I read about men juggling 3-4 women at a time they are dating from on-line sites... To each his own, but that isn't someone I would want to date. The on-line venue, IMO, breeds players. I can't speak for the women, since I did not go on-line to meet women.