Atheism; My Parents Found Out.

iKeith · 11-03-2009, 08:49 PM

A family member who I added on Facebook saw my profile and saw that I put 'Atheist' for my religion.

That family member told my mother on the phone, and we just had a small talk about it. Tomorrow she's going to tell my father, and we're going to have a "chat" (which means dad cursing me out, probably.)

Mom basically wants to know why I don't believe in god, I can't really explain something I don't fully understand myself...I kept it a secret for 2 years..

What can I do to make the "chat" better? And how can I get my parents to understand?

**BlueAfterglow08** · 11-03-2009, 08:52 PM

Just explain as best as you can how you feel. Say you respect their beliefs, its nothing to do with wanting to rebel or hating religion or god, set out your reasons for being an atheist in a calm rational way.

If they get angry just ask them to see it from your point of view, as in you dont hate them for believing so they should respect your decision not too. Hopefully they will come round. You are your own person with your own beliefs.

Bella20 · 11-03-2009, 08:52 PM

Are you 13? Maybe it's just a phase.

Christiana · 11-03-2009, 08:52 PM

just tell them that you are open to listening to what they have to say, and stay open minded. Let them know you just aren't that educated or informed on all the history/beliefs of God. (which I'm suprised they didn't teach you since it's so important to them!) And that you are willing to keep an open mind but that that's where you are at in your life right now. whatever you do. do NOT put down what they believe. But don't be afraid of venture out and study faiths also. You may find something that you will find great for your life!

Lucius · 11-03-2009, 08:53 PM

You've got religious parents, you're 13 years old, and you're an atheist. To be honest, I wouldn't waste my time trying to make them understand. If they don't dismiss your views because their irreligious, they'll dismiss them because you're a child. Either way you're on a straight road to criticism.

I would just play my cards close to my chest. Listen to them, be understanding, but quietly firm. Beyond that, without knowing them, it's hard to say. You'll be okay.

Day_Walker · 11-03-2009, 09:00 PM

I would tell them that your view is based on your personal belief, and whether they like it or not they cannot change what you believe or do not believe.

iKeith · 11-03-2009, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bella20

Are you 13? Maybe it's just a phase.

2 years, hardly a phase.

**BlueAfterglow08** · 11-03-2009, 09:03 PM

You might face such ideas from your parents they may be convinced they can snap you out of a 'phase'

But Day_Walker has it spot on, they must respect your beliefs because like theirs cant be changed, neither can yours.

under_my_amberella · 11-03-2009, 09:10 PM

What are YOUR goals here? What's important to you in this situation? Are you seeking answers? Someone to understand you?

It seems like, on some level, you wanted them to know. I respect that - you don't like to pretend to be something you're not. That tells me that perhaps you need to reveal your true self to them.

If that's really what you're needing, then do it. Tell them anything and everything you need to say. Sometimes hiding who you are can be the worst kind of hell.

Lucius · 11-03-2009, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by under_my_amberella

Sometimes hiding who you are can be the worst kind of hell.

Second only to having the (verbal) crap beaten out of you every day for who you are. Sometimes discretion, sadly, is the wisest course. In this case, everything hinges on what his parents are like - and what they'll put him through either way. He's going to be under their roof for a long time yet.

11-03-2009, 08:49 PM	#1
iKeith Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Virginia Gender: Male Age: 13 Posts: 73	Atheism; My Parents Found Out. A family member who I added on Facebook saw my profile and saw that I put 'Atheist' for my religion. That family member told my mother on the phone, and we just had a small talk about it. Tomorrow she's going to tell my father, and we're going to have a "chat" (which means dad cursing me out, probably.) Mom basically wants to know why I don't believe in god, I can't really explain something I don't fully understand myself...I kept it a secret for 2 years.. What can I do to make the "chat" better? And how can I get my parents to understand?

11-03-2009, 08:52 PM	#2
BlueAfterglow08 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,248	Just explain as best as you can how you feel. Say you respect their beliefs, its nothing to do with wanting to rebel or hating religion or god, set out your reasons for being an atheist in a calm rational way. If they get angry just ask them to see it from your point of view, as in you dont hate them for believing so they should respect your decision not too. Hopefully they will come round. You are your own person with your own beliefs. __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

11-03-2009, 08:52 PM	#3
Bella20 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: US Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 1,069	Are you 13? Maybe it's just a phase. __________________ B -- while we're living in this town the sun is coming up and is going down but it's all just the same at the end of the day and we cheat and we lie, nobody says it's wrong so we don't ask why cuz it's all just the same at the end of the day we're throwing it all away

11-03-2009, 08:52 PM	#4
Christiana Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 300	just tell them that you are open to listening to what they have to say, and stay open minded. Let them know you just aren't that educated or informed on all the history/beliefs of God. (which I'm suprised they didn't teach you since it's so important to them!) And that you are willing to keep an open mind but that that's where you are at in your life right now. whatever you do. do NOT put down what they believe. But don't be afraid of venture out and study faiths also. You may find something that you will find great for your life! __________________ "All I know is I have a GED and a give em' hell attitude" ~Dean Winchester-Supernatural

11-03-2009, 09:00 PM	#6
Day_Walker Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 4,881	I would tell them that your view is based on your personal belief, and whether they like it or not they cannot change what you believe or do not believe. __________________ "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

11-03-2009, 08:53 PM	#5
Lucius Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 454	You've got religious parents, you're 13 years old, and you're an atheist. To be honest, I wouldn't waste my time trying to make them understand. If they don't dismiss your views because their irreligious, they'll dismiss them because you're a child. Either way you're on a straight road to criticism. I would just play my cards close to my chest. Listen to them, be understanding, but quietly firm. Beyond that, without knowing them, it's hard to say. You'll be okay.

11-03-2009, 09:03 PM	#8
BlueAfterglow08 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,248	You might face such ideas from your parents they may be convinced they can snap you out of a 'phase' But Day_Walker has it spot on, they must respect your beliefs because like theirs cant be changed, neither can yours. __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

11-03-2009, 09:10 PM	#9
under_my_amberella Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 5,035	What are YOUR goals here? What's important to you in this situation? Are you seeking answers? Someone to understand you? It seems like, on some level, you wanted them to know. I respect that - you don't like to pretend to be something you're not. That tells me that perhaps you need to reveal your true self to them. If that's really what you're needing, then do it. Tell them anything and everything you need to say. Sometimes hiding who you are can be the worst kind of hell.