Drama with BF's family..

Bella20 · 11-03-2009, 08:42 PM

So if you've seen my other post my boyfriend's mom is very careless and even though she knows it hurts me to talk about a certain topic she brings it up all the time. My boyfriend has said this to her many times, I have cried in front of her about it, etc... So she knows it hurts and has no reason to bring it up but keeps doing it.

So last week we're at his house and she brings it up again, and then she comes to the room where we were because my boyfriend got upset that she would do that, and she says.. "oh is this about the __?", playing dumb... blah. My boyfriend tells her to leave the room, as she was trying to corner me into telling her (she always waits for my boyfriend to leave the room to take a shower and then corners me to talk about it).

So now my boyfriend is upset with her and won't call her or anything. Then today my boyfriend's dad sends him a text saying that his mom will cut him off and to eat his pride and call her. My boyfriend said to me that the only reason why he wants to call her is to tell her that he is very angry at her and that it is ridiculous that she keeps doing this every time.

So now, what? What's going on? Should he call? Is he wrong? Is his mom wrong?

Oh, and extra detail, she is not bringing the topic up to help or anything like it. My psychologist said she is being passive aggressive... (because of how her personality is and how she calls her husband a fatso and things like that in front of everyone).

**BlueAfterglow08** · 11-03-2009, 08:46 PM

I think he should call and explain he will no longer accept her behaviour towards her and if it continues then yeah, she can cut off contact because if she loves him she'll stop hurting you.

Bella20 · 11-03-2009, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueAfterglow08

I think he should call and explain he will no longer accept her behaviour towards her and if it continues then yeah, she can cut off contact because if she loves him she'll stop hurting you.

Well she was talking about cutting him off financially.

**BlueAfterglow08** · 11-03-2009, 08:49 PM

Can he live without her money? Otherwise she'll be using that as an excuse to talk to you like this and upset you.

Bella20 · 11-03-2009, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueAfterglow08

Can he live without her money? Otherwise she'll be using that as an excuse to talk to you like this and upset you.

No, he can't.

**BlueAfterglow08** · 11-03-2009, 08:53 PM

Thats tricky. Basically yes he should call her because otherwise he will be financially in trouble. But he should definatley make it clear he is upset at her for what she does.

I think his mum is in the wrong to constantly bring it up even though it upsets you.

Bella20 · 11-03-2009, 08:56 PM

Yea, and what's with this manipulation? If you don't talk to me I'll cut you off. If you are mad at me I'll cut you off.
That is such BS.

**BlueAfterglow08** · 11-03-2009, 08:58 PM

It's really awful because shes using it as a weapon, as in 'Im supporting you so I can treat your gf like crap'

Its hard because if he puts his foot down too much she may well cut him off. But I still think he should explain how it makes him feel when he calls.

Bella20 · 11-03-2009, 09:32 PM

I know.... grrr.
Other thoughts you guys?

Bella20 · 11-03-2009, 09:45 PM

Well, he called her. She says she's sorry. Such BS. I am mad at him now. I hate this.

11-03-2009, 08:42 PM	#1
Bella20 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: US Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 1,069	Drama with BF's family.. So if you've seen my other post my boyfriend's mom is very careless and even though she knows it hurts me to talk about a certain topic she brings it up all the time. My boyfriend has said this to her many times, I have cried in front of her about it, etc... So she knows it hurts and has no reason to bring it up but keeps doing it. So last week we're at his house and she brings it up again, and then she comes to the room where we were because my boyfriend got upset that she would do that, and she says.. "oh is this about the __?", playing dumb... blah. My boyfriend tells her to leave the room, as she was trying to corner me into telling her (she always waits for my boyfriend to leave the room to take a shower and then corners me to talk about it). So now my boyfriend is upset with her and won't call her or anything. Then today my boyfriend's dad sends him a text saying that his mom will cut him off and to eat his pride and call her. My boyfriend said to me that the only reason why he wants to call her is to tell her that he is very angry at her and that it is ridiculous that she keeps doing this every time. So now, what? What's going on? Should he call? Is he wrong? Is his mom wrong? Oh, and extra detail, she is not bringing the topic up to help or anything like it. My psychologist said she is being passive aggressive... (because of how her personality is and how she calls her husband a fatso and things like that in front of everyone). __________________ B -- while we're living in this town the sun is coming up and is going down but it's all just the same at the end of the day and we cheat and we lie, nobody says it's wrong so we don't ask why cuz it's all just the same at the end of the day we're throwing it all away

11-03-2009, 08:46 PM	#2
BlueAfterglow08 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,248	I think he should call and explain he will no longer accept her behaviour towards her and if it continues then yeah, she can cut off contact because if she loves him she'll stop hurting you. __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

11-03-2009, 08:49 PM	#4
BlueAfterglow08 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,248	Can he live without her money? Otherwise she'll be using that as an excuse to talk to you like this and upset you. __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

11-03-2009, 08:53 PM	#6
BlueAfterglow08 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,248	Thats tricky. Basically yes he should call her because otherwise he will be financially in trouble. But he should definatley make it clear he is upset at her for what she does. I think his mum is in the wrong to constantly bring it up even though it upsets you. __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

11-03-2009, 08:56 PM	#7
Bella20 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: US Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 1,069	Yea, and what's with this manipulation? If you don't talk to me I'll cut you off. If you are mad at me I'll cut you off. That is such BS. __________________ B -- while we're living in this town the sun is coming up and is going down but it's all just the same at the end of the day and we cheat and we lie, nobody says it's wrong so we don't ask why cuz it's all just the same at the end of the day we're throwing it all away

11-03-2009, 08:58 PM	#8
BlueAfterglow08 Online Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,248	It's really awful because shes using it as a weapon, as in 'Im supporting you so I can treat your gf like crap' Its hard because if he puts his foot down too much she may well cut him off. But I still think he should explain how it makes him feel when he calls. __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

11-03-2009, 09:32 PM	#9
Bella20 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: US Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 1,069	I know.... grrr. Other thoughts you guys? __________________ B -- while we're living in this town the sun is coming up and is going down but it's all just the same at the end of the day and we cheat and we lie, nobody says it's wrong so we don't ask why cuz it's all just the same at the end of the day we're throwing it all away

11-03-2009, 09:45 PM	#10
Bella20 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: US Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 1,069	Well, he called her. She says she's sorry. Such BS. I am mad at him now. I hate this. __________________ B -- while we're living in this town the sun is coming up and is going down but it's all just the same at the end of the day and we cheat and we lie, nobody says it's wrong so we don't ask why cuz it's all just the same at the end of the day we're throwing it all away