Does this guy have a thing for me?

Buttterfly · 11-03-2009, 08:13 PM

Ok, the most abbreviated version of yhe story:
joined a dating site, been contacted by this guy. We hit it Off- by email, being on same wavelenght with our wit and values. He souds outspoken and intelligent. A week in the process, he asks if its not too early to invite Me to see a movie for Halloween, sinc he has these free tickets. We meet up, he seems shyier than i imagined- which was nice and a bonus, fresh air compared with the cockyness of Other dates. We see movie and troughout he îs considerate and whispered into my ear if im getting bored. We had drink after and we clicked, he mentionned having these Other free tickets for a movie in 2 weeks time, and would i like to come? I say ofcourse. It turned out that the NeXT movie was earlier than he had thought, And he asks Me if its ok or too soon to ask Me out again, since the opporrunity xame so quickly... I Go along, but this tine he seems even more shyier- like i was the one always initiating thr conversations, to which he participated eagerly though. I became resolved in my head that there wasnt much chemistry anyway, since he so shy AMD Me a lil irritated by his lack of playfulness( maybe im comparing him to the "player" type i used to be drawn to..?). But then he mentions maybe i shuld invit him one day to see this movie that we both lines and havent seen for ages, i say ok. He drives Me home(1:30 hrs drive) but still shy.. I initiate hug at the end and menţion one day maybe seeig that movie, he says he îs looking forward to it. But i Leave without any sense of excitement , feeling he too nice for me. Do u think he likes me but too shy? Are there men like that outthere? I kinda expect him to be more forward... Ofcourse he was conscious of having two dates with Me within 4 days, i think he has a rule book abt dating or smth... No move on me... What to think? In his emails tho his personality îs opposite... Flirty, cheeky, teasing...

MrWallFlower · 11-03-2009, 10:15 PM

It sounds like he's interested in you. Perhaps he comes off as shy when, really, he's just not confident in himself or simply doesn't have a lot of dating experience. When he's communicating via e-mail he can take his time formulating what he's going to say and, perhaps, it doesn't come as naturally to him when he's one on one. You describe him as being considerate of you and he seems to enjoy spending time with you. The fact that he seems to be playing by some imaginary rule book suggests that he doesn't quite feel comfortable with the dating process and/or he feels out of his element.

I suspect that if you give him more time, he'll start to feel comfortable enough to show his real self to you and will be more confident.

arcadefire · 11-03-2009, 10:37 PM

He seems really shy, but I would give it a few more dates to see whether or not you truly see chemistry/potential in him just to give him a fair chance. If you still don't feel it, then let him go.

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-04-2009, 07:27 AM

Sounds like he is interested in you. Be careful about assuming that men who are more forward are more interested...in many cases men who are very forward are actually the ones following a men's rule book saying that they have to act like studs or else the woman won't be interested. Also, being forward is not necessarily a good barometer of interest. Many guys are forward because they are only interested in securing a sex partner...not that they are interested in the woman as anything more than that. So shy types may not put the moves on so quickly but that doesn't mean they aren't interested. He has asked you out twice and has requested that you ask him out..I would think that is a clear enough indication that he is indeed interested despite his shy nature.

notsogood · 11-04-2009, 12:58 PM

Sounds like classic "nice guy" behavior. He drove you home 1 hour and 30 minutes home? Ya he likes you but he sounds not very confident or something. Give him one more date and if he doesn't make a move then you should friend zone him lol. serious.

acinom · 11-04-2009, 04:28 PM

He sounds like a keeper to me. shyness wears off so hang in there. i love nice guys. they only get better with time.

Buttterfly · 11-04-2009, 05:04 PM

Thanks guys, aaahrgh it's so hard...!!! I know intuitively he is of a special breed, I have been dating a lil (about 10) and this one îs the only one seemingly passive and like a school boy... Or he doesnt like me hah... I know he isnt a weirdo or psyho from our long conversations by email ( he v witty and articulate and had loads to say). Also the real life convos were interesting though initiated by ONLY me... He was just sitting tere swallowing his tongue busying himself with whatever we were doing- eating walking etc. Im laughin imaginin what if he stumbles upon a shy girl like him lol cringing how îs he gonna cope! Maybe i seemed a lil overpowering to him since i was genuinely relaxed and enjoying the time together, mocking myself and joking loads( i love ppl's company, thats how i am always :-/). My friend thinks he might have had a shock seeing what kinda woman landed on his lap lol( i get male attention easily). I teased him loads in emails before the second date, that i was anxious of meeting him so soon during thr weekday, and in emails he responded teasing back, playful, reassuring. My guess îs that he îs conscious of that and i wont hear from him for a few days.... Also i know he îs goin to see family this weekend... I wonder if i should send him a reassuring one liner email saying it was good to see him and some little joke. This one doesnt seem thr one i should be too hard to get for. Oh, and somethibg else. After we hit it Off nicely in the first date( my impression), he sends Me this awckward email sayin he enjoyed my company but hr doesnt know if i did( dohhhhh silly boy!!!lol). He also confrssed to that when he saw Me the second time, sayin he didnt know if i wanted to see him again, but hr eas very reassured and surprised by my cheerful reply. I would like to adopt the pally pally stategy with him, teasing etc, getting under his skin this way so he can chillax... Cos waitin for this one to make a move îs prolly as painful for Me as it îs to him (if he likes Me). And if he doesnt fancy me, then the friends route îs safe anyway(easily done). Even for Me - bein pretty outspoken- it feels a bit weird of followin the courtin pattern in which man initiates contact always. Euuukkk... Shuld i mail him? What u think?

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-04-2009, 05:24 PM

Sure, send him and email. He certainly sounds interested.

Buttterfly · 11-05-2009, 03:17 PM

Well i sent him at lunch 2 lines "how are you today, i decided to not work" email- just random, but no reply and it's evening lol. Maybe he wasnt shy, he just didnt like me hah. Or maybe he îs shy but not into me. Jeezzz ppl that aren't straightforward make Me feel uncomfortable...

Buttterfly · 11-06-2009, 07:40 PM

An update: he called to tell Me this: he feels very very sorry that after some analysing he realused theres no future as we from different religions and his family will Never accept me. He appologised and appologised. I told him i respect he was upfront silo early though he shuld update his online datin Profile with regards to religious preferences. I also gave him a piece of my beliefs regarding religious pressures and obviously he clarified for Me i want a man who will stand up for his relationship no matter what. He asked if we still culd be friends hang out together and advice AMD support eaxhother with our dating life, i said sure. Then he texts Me to invite Me to see another movie thatbhe has tickets for, i told him if we friends he shuld concentrate on his dating an if we both free then we can hang out. What do u make of this?

11-03-2009, 08:13 PM	#1
Buttterfly Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 214	Does this guy have a thing for me? Ok, the most abbreviated version of yhe story: joined a dating site, been contacted by this guy. We hit it Off- by email, being on same wavelenght with our wit and values. He souds outspoken and intelligent. A week in the process, he asks if its not too early to invite Me to see a movie for Halloween, sinc he has these free tickets. We meet up, he seems shyier than i imagined- which was nice and a bonus, fresh air compared with the cockyness of Other dates. We see movie and troughout he îs considerate and whispered into my ear if im getting bored. We had drink after and we clicked, he mentionned having these Other free tickets for a movie in 2 weeks time, and would i like to come? I say ofcourse. It turned out that the NeXT movie was earlier than he had thought, And he asks Me if its ok or too soon to ask Me out again, since the opporrunity xame so quickly... I Go along, but this tine he seems even more shyier- like i was the one always initiating thr conversations, to which he participated eagerly though. I became resolved in my head that there wasnt much chemistry anyway, since he so shy AMD Me a lil irritated by his lack of playfulness( maybe im comparing him to the "player" type i used to be drawn to..?). But then he mentions maybe i shuld invit him one day to see this movie that we both lines and havent seen for ages, i say ok. He drives Me home(1:30 hrs drive) but still shy.. I initiate hug at the end and menţion one day maybe seeig that movie, he says he îs looking forward to it. But i Leave without any sense of excitement , feeling he too nice for me. Do u think he likes me but too shy? Are there men like that outthere? I kinda expect him to be more forward... Ofcourse he was conscious of having two dates with Me within 4 days, i think he has a rule book abt dating or smth... No move on me... What to think? In his emails tho his personality îs opposite... Flirty, cheeky, teasing... __________________ "In dreams begin responsibilities" U2 "Acrobat"

11-03-2009, 10:37 PM	#3
arcadefire Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,288	He seems really shy, but I would give it a few more dates to see whether or not you truly see chemistry/potential in him just to give him a fair chance. If you still don't feel it, then let him go. __________________ I've been searching for a heart of gold... - Neil Young

11-04-2009, 05:04 PM	#7
Buttterfly Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 214	Thanks guys, aaahrgh it's so hard...!!! I know intuitively he is of a special breed, I have been dating a lil (about 10) and this one îs the only one seemingly passive and like a school boy... Or he doesnt like me hah... I know he isnt a weirdo or psyho from our long conversations by email ( he v witty and articulate and had loads to say). Also the real life convos were interesting though initiated by ONLY me... He was just sitting tere swallowing his tongue busying himself with whatever we were doing- eating walking etc. Im laughin imaginin what if he stumbles upon a shy girl like him lol cringing how îs he gonna cope! Maybe i seemed a lil overpowering to him since i was genuinely relaxed and enjoying the time together, mocking myself and joking loads( i love ppl's company, thats how i am always :-/). My friend thinks he might have had a shock seeing what kinda woman landed on his lap lol( i get male attention easily). I teased him loads in emails before the second date, that i was anxious of meeting him so soon during thr weekday, and in emails he responded teasing back, playful, reassuring. My guess îs that he îs conscious of that and i wont hear from him for a few days.... Also i know he îs goin to see family this weekend... I wonder if i should send him a reassuring one liner email saying it was good to see him and some little joke. This one doesnt seem thr one i should be too hard to get for. Oh, and somethibg else. After we hit it Off nicely in the first date( my impression), he sends Me this awckward email sayin he enjoyed my company but hr doesnt know if i did( dohhhhh silly boy!!!lol). He also confrssed to that when he saw Me the second time, sayin he didnt know if i wanted to see him again, but hr eas very reassured and surprised by my cheerful reply. I would like to adopt the pally pally stategy with him, teasing etc, getting under his skin this way so he can chillax... Cos waitin for this one to make a move îs prolly as painful for Me as it îs to him (if he likes Me). And if he doesnt fancy me, then the friends route îs safe anyway(easily done). Even for Me - bein pretty outspoken- it feels a bit weird of followin the courtin pattern in which man initiates contact always. Euuukkk... Shuld i mail him? What u think? __________________ "In dreams begin responsibilities" U2 "Acrobat"

11-05-2009, 03:17 PM	#9
Buttterfly Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 214	Well i sent him at lunch 2 lines "how are you today, i decided to not work" email- just random, but no reply and it's evening lol. Maybe he wasnt shy, he just didnt like me hah. Or maybe he îs shy but not into me. Jeezzz ppl that aren't straightforward make Me feel uncomfortable... __________________ "In dreams begin responsibilities" U2 "Acrobat"

11-06-2009, 07:40 PM	#10
Buttterfly Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 214	An update: he called to tell Me this: he feels very very sorry that after some analysing he realused theres no future as we from different religions and his family will Never accept me. He appologised and appologised. I told him i respect he was upfront silo early though he shuld update his online datin Profile with regards to religious preferences. I also gave him a piece of my beliefs regarding religious pressures and obviously he clarified for Me i want a man who will stand up for his relationship no matter what. He asked if we still culd be friends hang out together and advice AMD support eaxhother with our dating life, i said sure. Then he texts Me to invite Me to see another movie thatbhe has tickets for, i told him if we friends he shuld concentrate on his dating an if we both free then we can hang out. What do u make of this? __________________ "In dreams begin responsibilities" U2 "Acrobat"

11-03-2009, 10:15 PM	#2
MrWallFlower Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Ohio, USA Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 46	It sounds like he's interested in you. Perhaps he comes off as shy when, really, he's just not confident in himself or simply doesn't have a lot of dating experience. When he's communicating via e-mail he can take his time formulating what he's going to say and, perhaps, it doesn't come as naturally to him when he's one on one. You describe him as being considerate of you and he seems to enjoy spending time with you. The fact that he seems to be playing by some imaginary rule book suggests that he doesn't quite feel comfortable with the dating process and/or he feels out of his element. I suspect that if you give him more time, he'll start to feel comfortable enough to show his real self to you and will be more confident.

11-04-2009, 07:27 AM	#4
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,630	Sounds like he is interested in you. Be careful about assuming that men who are more forward are more interested...in many cases men who are very forward are actually the ones following a men's rule book saying that they have to act like studs or else the woman won't be interested. Also, being forward is not necessarily a good barometer of interest. Many guys are forward because they are only interested in securing a sex partner...not that they are interested in the woman as anything more than that. So shy types may not put the moves on so quickly but that doesn't mean they aren't interested. He has asked you out twice and has requested that you ask him out..I would think that is a clear enough indication that he is indeed interested despite his shy nature.

11-04-2009, 12:58 PM	#5
notsogood Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 242	Sounds like classic "nice guy" behavior. He drove you home 1 hour and 30 minutes home? Ya he likes you but he sounds not very confident or something. Give him one more date and if he doesn't make a move then you should friend zone him lol. serious.

11-04-2009, 04:28 PM	#6
acinom Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 70	He sounds like a keeper to me. shyness wears off so hang in there. i love nice guys. they only get better with time.

11-04-2009, 05:24 PM	#8
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,630	Sure, send him and email. He certainly sounds interested.