i messed up- will he come around?

thevtrain · 11-07-2009, 01:07 PM

boyfriend and I had a huge fight. wasnt sure if we were broken up or not- it was a bad fight alot went down. he said hed call in 3 days. i didnt give him space- called and texted a few times. ive learned my lesson about this now. so, 3 days later he hadnt calmed down at all and he told me through a text "cant be with you anymore, I dont even want to talk. just want it to be over" he has never ever blown off a call before. he always calls when he says he will this was a first.

I went over to his house and talked to him. I was mad bc I told him not to talk to me until he cooled off (thats what I said in one of my messages...maybe he didnt read it?) we both were crying and of course, me i cried more and he told me to stop. he said he didnt want to be with me many times, but also said he needed to not have a girlfriend for a few weeks. he explained how stressed out hes been and that me trying to talk to him wasnt helping. i said i was sorry and that i wasnt going to do that again and i meant it. he wouldnt give me another chance though he messed up once and i gave him another chance. he said it was because he didnt believe id give him space and he couldnt break up with me again it was too painful. i thought this whole talk was painful but better for him since he got my side of the story and when i told him this he just said it was painful. at the end of this he said he'd call me, but i thought he was saying it to make me leave. i told him that and he just repeated hed call me

its been 4 days and ive kept my word and havent talked to him.

it hasnt been a week yet, but ive decided hes not going to forgive me. what do u think

thebluest · 11-07-2009, 01:13 PM

I think you've done the right thing, continue to give him his space and respect his wishes. It's not about who is giving whom how many chances - right now, he's having a hard time dealing with everything, and you just have to be patient and occupy your time while he's working things out.

Why don't you use this time to your advantage to focus on yourself? I had something like this with my boyfriend only a few weeks ago, and I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and giving myself anxiety issues and instead spent more time volunteering at a charity.

If he comes around, he knows how to contact you.

Ms Darcy · 11-07-2009, 02:25 PM

how long have you been together?

thevtrain · 11-07-2009, 02:35 PM

4 month anniversery day he broke up with me.

thats official though. we were technically together 4 months before. we dated 1 month, he did all the pursuing, but i thought it would fade to nothing after the first month because i had to study abroad in another country for school for 3 months. those 3 months we talked constantly and got to know each other. thats when we got attached and everyone thought it was cute- usually studying abroad breaks people up not the opposite. but he thought i was special and waited for me, and other than some of these fights which are about the same thing, he has treated me awesome and i know he liked me alot.

heartbroken310 · 11-07-2009, 08:15 PM

i dont think you can ever tell if they will come round.
my (ex ??? - dont even know) went off in a huff after a ridiculous email argument a week ago.
i know hes online right now watching me on his list with a big block through my name (yes i used msn block checker) yet hes ignored me the entire week.

i ve given up contacting him because he knows where i am.

think thats what we have to do otherwise we'll never really know why they came back.

i don't want anyone to be with me unless they REALLY want to be.

citymouse · 11-07-2009, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heartbroken310

i dont think you can ever tell if they will come round.
my (ex ??? - dont even know) went off in a huff after a ridiculous email argument a week ago.
i know hes online right now watching me on his list with a big block through my name (yes i used msn block checker) yet hes ignored me the entire week.

i ve given up contacting him because he knows where i am.

think thats what we have to do otherwise we'll never really know why they came back.

i don't want anyone to be with me unless they REALLY want to be.

Hang in there, heartbroken. I know Sunday is going to be hard for you. Come back here and post if you need support.

jennyjen · 11-08-2009, 01:46 AM

huh?? im so confused.

11-07-2009, 01:07 PM	#1
thevtrain Offline Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 2	i messed up- will he come around? boyfriend and I had a huge fight. wasnt sure if we were broken up or not- it was a bad fight alot went down. he said hed call in 3 days. i didnt give him space- called and texted a few times. ive learned my lesson about this now. so, 3 days later he hadnt calmed down at all and he told me through a text "cant be with you anymore, I dont even want to talk. just want it to be over" he has never ever blown off a call before. he always calls when he says he will this was a first. I went over to his house and talked to him. I was mad bc I told him not to talk to me until he cooled off (thats what I said in one of my messages...maybe he didnt read it?) we both were crying and of course, me i cried more and he told me to stop. he said he didnt want to be with me many times, but also said he needed to not have a girlfriend for a few weeks. he explained how stressed out hes been and that me trying to talk to him wasnt helping. i said i was sorry and that i wasnt going to do that again and i meant it. he wouldnt give me another chance though he messed up once and i gave him another chance. he said it was because he didnt believe id give him space and he couldnt break up with me again it was too painful. i thought this whole talk was painful but better for him since he got my side of the story and when i told him this he just said it was painful. at the end of this he said he'd call me, but i thought he was saying it to make me leave. i told him that and he just repeated hed call me its been 4 days and ive kept my word and havent talked to him. it hasnt been a week yet, but ive decided hes not going to forgive me. what do u think

11-07-2009, 01:13 PM	#2
thebluest Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 189	I think you've done the right thing, continue to give him his space and respect his wishes. It's not about who is giving whom how many chances - right now, he's having a hard time dealing with everything, and you just have to be patient and occupy your time while he's working things out. Why don't you use this time to your advantage to focus on yourself? I had something like this with my boyfriend only a few weeks ago, and I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and giving myself anxiety issues and instead spent more time volunteering at a charity. If he comes around, he knows how to contact you. __________________ "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

11-07-2009, 02:25 PM	#3
Ms Darcy Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: United States Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 2,081	how long have you been together?

11-07-2009, 02:35 PM	#4
thevtrain Offline Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 2	4 month anniversery day he broke up with me. thats official though. we were technically together 4 months before. we dated 1 month, he did all the pursuing, but i thought it would fade to nothing after the first month because i had to study abroad in another country for school for 3 months. those 3 months we talked constantly and got to know each other. thats when we got attached and everyone thought it was cute- usually studying abroad breaks people up not the opposite. but he thought i was special and waited for me, and other than some of these fights which are about the same thing, he has treated me awesome and i know he liked me alot.

11-07-2009, 08:15 PM	#5
heartbroken310 Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: London UK Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 103	i dont think you can ever tell if they will come round. my (ex ??? - dont even know) went off in a huff after a ridiculous email argument a week ago. i know hes online right now watching me on his list with a big block through my name (yes i used msn block checker) yet hes ignored me the entire week. i ve given up contacting him because he knows where i am. think thats what we have to do otherwise we'll never really know why they came back. i don't want anyone to be with me unless they REALLY want to be.

11-08-2009, 01:46 AM	#7
jennyjen Offline Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 2	huh?? im so confused.