Got burned on the rebound

aprilflowers · 11-07-2009, 01:03 PM

I got dumped in April by fiance Joey after 3 year relationship. Awful.

Slowly, slowly got on my feet, heart not fixed though. A mutual friend says "I know someone for you." Irony: Name is Joey, same ethnic background, same age as my Ex. He had been dumped over a year ago by a woman many many years his younger (we are both 45 plus)

History: I find Joey 2 in August, we go out. Met his family after 6 dates, very convivial. Lovely times together, I was able to really help him out a few times. He said "I could love you in so many ways." "You are so good for me" etc. Once said "I love you" then said "YOU didn't hear that."

Complications: He moved locally into a new place and has complex issues at work and with aging parents - and he crossed paths with the young Ex over a seriously ill mutual friend in Sept.

Well, you can guess - haven't seen him since his move 9 days ago. A couple phone calls. He seems guarded. Therapist friend suggest he's solving lots of his own issues and to stay calm.

But I think I got dumped again by another Joey. Think I was in a clueless rebound romance and didn't know it. Slipping into bad sad habits. Miss him.

I'm too old for this. Hurtin' . Advice or assessment, wise e-notaloners?

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-07-2009, 01:34 PM

Hard to say whether it was really a rebound or if has too much on his plate right now and seeing his ex was just the last straw. His statments such as "I could love you in so many ways" etc sound rather hokey and like someone who is desperate or likes the thrill of the honeymoon period. People who make grand statements like that so early in a relationship are often living in fantasyland because they are so caught up in the relief of not being single anymore. Maybe he will contact you once he has had a chance to reflect a bit.

andytandreou · 11-09-2009, 02:16 PM

hi april. I recently got dumped by a person whom I love dearly and respect. He made a massive massive enormous impression in my life and although we may not get back together I cannot forget him, period.

New guys have entered my life briefly and one was so nice and handsom that I have said things like "I think i could fall for you", "I could love you so easily". You know, things Joey 2 said to you. What I really meant was "You are nice but forget any emotional invesment from my part", all I wanted was some company. I told my guy that he should NOT expect anything and that pushing me would only make me upset, angry or just to fall out of site.

April, you should have known better. I think you should just read a good book and get over this ASAP. I recomend "The power of NOW" an amazing book that will change your life for ever and for the better. It's nothing to do about relationships but you will feel on top of the world once you read it.

Lots of love x

11-07-2009, 01:03 PM	#1
aprilflowers Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 13	Got burned on the rebound I got dumped in April by fiance Joey after 3 year relationship. Awful. Slowly, slowly got on my feet, heart not fixed though. A mutual friend says "I know someone for you." Irony: Name is Joey, same ethnic background, same age as my Ex. He had been dumped over a year ago by a woman many many years his younger (we are both 45 plus) History: I find Joey 2 in August, we go out. Met his family after 6 dates, very convivial. Lovely times together, I was able to really help him out a few times. He said "I could love you in so many ways." "You are so good for me" etc. Once said "I love you" then said "YOU didn't hear that." Complications: He moved locally into a new place and has complex issues at work and with aging parents - and he crossed paths with the young Ex over a seriously ill mutual friend in Sept. Well, you can guess - haven't seen him since his move 9 days ago. A couple phone calls. He seems guarded. Therapist friend suggest he's solving lots of his own issues and to stay calm. But I think I got dumped again by another Joey. Think I was in a clueless rebound romance and didn't know it. Slipping into bad sad habits. Miss him. I'm too old for this. Hurtin' . Advice or assessment, wise e-notaloners?

11-07-2009, 01:34 PM	#2
Crazyaboutdogs Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,632	Hard to say whether it was really a rebound or if has too much on his plate right now and seeing his ex was just the last straw. His statments such as "I could love you in so many ways" etc sound rather hokey and like someone who is desperate or likes the thrill of the honeymoon period. People who make grand statements like that so early in a relationship are often living in fantasyland because they are so caught up in the relief of not being single anymore. Maybe he will contact you once he has had a chance to reflect a bit.

11-09-2009, 02:16 PM	#3
andytandreou Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 32	hi april. I recently got dumped by a person whom I love dearly and respect. He made a massive massive enormous impression in my life and although we may not get back together I cannot forget him, period. New guys have entered my life briefly and one was so nice and handsom that I have said things like "I think i could fall for you", "I could love you so easily". You know, things Joey 2 said to you. What I really meant was "You are nice but forget any emotional invesment from my part", all I wanted was some company. I told my guy that he should NOT expect anything and that pushing me would only make me upset, angry or just to fall out of site. April, you should have known better. I think you should just read a good book and get over this ASAP. I recomend "The power of NOW" an amazing book that will change your life for ever and for the better. It's nothing to do about relationships but you will feel on top of the world once you read it. Lots of love x