NC.. Finally missing her bad

Tibber · 11-07-2009, 01:00 PM

Oh, the roller coaster never ends. About a week ago I told my ex I wanted NC. We cried, I left. I felt a bit relieved that I didn't have to deal with the huge emotional roller coaster of seeing her almost every day and having fun with her in the hope her feelings would change. Plus I didn't have to hear about her new relationship that I had just learned about. That was my main reason for NC.

Something snapped in me last night though. I wanted to stay out late and have fun, go to bars or out to dinner or a club or something. But I'm not used to doing things like that alone (no local friends other than ex). Even broken up I was enjoying that stuff with my ex. But last night I just had a complete emotional break down, and gave up and went home crying. Cried for a few hours on and off at home until I was exhausted and went to bed. Being out last night made me realize how much I miss her now.

I have this sad feeling that these are the new feelings I'll be dealing with for a long while: missing her company and contact really really bad.

I need to make new friends to hang out with. Finding good friends though seems about as daunting as finding a new relationship though sometimes. I joined a bunch of groups on meetup.com. I'll see how that goes.

Any words of wisdom to help cope?

DaveReInvented · 11-07-2009, 01:18 PM

I'm at about a full week of NC after a break up two weeks ago today. Can't stop the overwhelming sadness I feel - have my kids with me and trying to keep it together for them. It aint easy - I want nothing more than to hear her voice - see her.

Wish I knew what to say - wish someone knew what to say to me. All I can tell you is you are not alone and I feel for ya.

It's a tough road for sure. I do know that any contact with her would just start everything over for me (as much as I miss her). She isn't ready for this relationship - and I'm probably not either.

Keep your chin up and fight back brother. There is more to life than the relationship. Hang in there.

PS - If you find the answer, let me know

Tibber · 11-07-2009, 01:34 PM

I'll let you know if I figure it out

If my ex even felt a fraction of what I'm feeling right now, I can understand why she wanted to remain friends so badly. She certainly doesn't deserve the comfort though when she is moving right into another relationship:/ I sort of hope she feels similar discomfort this weekend not having anyone to hang out with other than her parents (her new relationship is a LDR).

surfNski · 11-07-2009, 04:35 PM

I hear you man, my ex was my best friend I stayed on this fricken island because this is where she wanted to raise a family after we were married. She was born and raised here and I knew nobody!
Anyway, making friends is really hard but her here are some of the things I did. I joined a few meetup groups and joined some sports teams. I also am trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and start asking people to hang out.
I have a few friends I hang around with now, mostly sport buddies. I dont drink so that makes it kind of difficult but you can do it. Just keep an open mind and have some fun..

11-07-2009, 01:00 PM	#1
Tibber Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Colorado Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 141	NC.. Finally missing her bad Oh, the roller coaster never ends. About a week ago I told my ex I wanted NC. We cried, I left. I felt a bit relieved that I didn't have to deal with the huge emotional roller coaster of seeing her almost every day and having fun with her in the hope her feelings would change. Plus I didn't have to hear about her new relationship that I had just learned about. That was my main reason for NC. Something snapped in me last night though. I wanted to stay out late and have fun, go to bars or out to dinner or a club or something. But I'm not used to doing things like that alone (no local friends other than ex). Even broken up I was enjoying that stuff with my ex. But last night I just had a complete emotional break down, and gave up and went home crying. Cried for a few hours on and off at home until I was exhausted and went to bed. Being out last night made me realize how much I miss her now. I have this sad feeling that these are the new feelings I'll be dealing with for a long while: missing her company and contact really really bad. I need to make new friends to hang out with. Finding good friends though seems about as daunting as finding a new relationship though sometimes. I joined a bunch of groups on meetup.com. I'll see how that goes. Any words of wisdom to help cope?

11-07-2009, 01:18 PM	#2
DaveReInvented Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA Gender: Male Posts: 88	I'm with ya brother I'm at about a full week of NC after a break up two weeks ago today. Can't stop the overwhelming sadness I feel - have my kids with me and trying to keep it together for them. It aint easy - I want nothing more than to hear her voice - see her. Wish I knew what to say - wish someone knew what to say to me. All I can tell you is you are not alone and I feel for ya. It's a tough road for sure. I do know that any contact with her would just start everything over for me (as much as I miss her). She isn't ready for this relationship - and I'm probably not either. Keep your chin up and fight back brother. There is more to life than the relationship. Hang in there. PS - If you find the answer, let me know

11-07-2009, 04:35 PM	#4
surfNski Offline Silver Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Hawaii Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 346	I hear you man, my ex was my best friend I stayed on this fricken island because this is where she wanted to raise a family after we were married. She was born and raised here and I knew nobody! Anyway, making friends is really hard but her here are some of the things I did. I joined a few meetup groups and joined some sports teams. I also am trying to push myself out of my comfort zone and start asking people to hang out. I have a few friends I hang around with now, mostly sport buddies. I dont drink so that makes it kind of difficult but you can do it. Just keep an open mind and have some fun.. __________________ "20 years from now, you will be more disappointed in the things you didn’t do than in the ones you did do." - Mark Twain "So many cats, so few recipes"

11-07-2009, 01:34 PM	#3
Tibber Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Colorado Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 141	I'll let you know if I figure it out If my ex even felt a fraction of what I'm feeling right now, I can understand why she wanted to remain friends so badly. She certainly doesn't deserve the comfort though when she is moving right into another relationship:/ I sort of hope she feels similar discomfort this weekend not having anyone to hang out with other than her parents (her new relationship is a LDR).