Having Faith In My Healing

Rob1000 · 11-07-2009, 11:54 AM

Hey guys,

It's almost 9 months since my I said good-bye to my ex-fiancee. I left the house one night, knowing she'd be gone by the time I'd get back. I haven't laid eyes on her since. It's been the most traumatic year of my life, without question. I would be four weeks married today had we stayed together.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is that although my despair has been well documented on these boards this past few weeks, I am beginning to have faith in my healing. It's not easy but I can feel myself letting go and getting myself back every day, even though some days I cry my heart out.

Now that the weather is getting dark and damp here in Ireland, as the season changes, it begins to remind me of the time when things started to go wrong last year. It's giving me a certain clarity. It's reminding of the time when we broke up. It's reminding me that it all started with a lie. She was dishonest to me. She told me she was going to a friends house one sunday night, but when I drove past the house on my way to the shop later that night, her car wasn't there. I still haven't found out where she was. When I confronted her, she was evasive and unapologetic. I knew there and then, we were in serious trouble. 3 weeks later, it was all over.

I found out 3 months later she had shacked up with a married man straight after we broke up. So putting 2+2 together, it's no mystery where she was the night she lied to me. She fell for this guy pretty hard too. They didn't last long after he left the country!

Last week, I found out that is seeing someone else now. So if that goes well, in all possibility she will have told 3 different guys she loved them within the space of 1 year. However, thats not my problem or my business. I'm just concentrating on myself. Since I found out about this new guy last week, I have let go of her completely. It's not easy but as I said with the seasons turning around and the year mark heading my way, I'm getting a clear sense of why we broke up. And I am definitely moving on. I can feel it. That said I still mourn the loss of 5 years with my best friend. But she chose her path in the end. Mine was chosen for me. And alone I walk on that path.

I have faith that this will be over soon. I will be in the arms of another and I will not care less about my ex. But right now it's still hard to be alone on a Saturday night without someone. And notice I said 'someone' and not 'her'!

Love all you guys,

Rob

PS: I recorded a song in my spare room last week. To hear it follow the link below..

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

Enjoy!!

vivia12 · 11-07-2009, 12:04 PM

It may have been nine months but at least you seem well on the path of healing and can acknowledge that. Also you didnt make the mistake of marrying someone who is proven unfaithful,kudos to you!
Did i read correctly that you are in Ireland? bet you have lots of beauty to surround yourself with,especially in the countryside.

Rob1000 · 11-07-2009, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivia12

It may have been nine months but at least you seem well on the path of healing and can acknowledge that. Also you didnt make the mistake of marrying someone who is proven unfaithful,kudos to you!
Did i read correctly that you are in Ireland? bet you have lots of beauty to surround yourself with,especially in the countryside.

Yeah I live in Ireland. However this time of year is so damp and miserable, so not all that great!!

quirky girl · 11-07-2009, 12:08 PM

aaaahhh..Ireland, seems like such a nice place.

It does indeed sound like you're doing ok, I'm sure knowing she's with someone else encourages you to move on. Have you gone on any dates?

Rob1000 · 11-07-2009, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quirky girl

aaaahhh..Ireland, seems like such a nice place.

It does indeed sound like you're doing ok, I'm sure knowing she's with someone else encourages you to move on. Have you gone on any dates?

I went on one date back in May. I clearly wasnt ready then. Dying to go on a date with a nice girl now. Been chatting to someone online this past few days so we'll see where that goes!!

InBruges · 11-07-2009, 12:49 PM

Sounds like you're on a good path. And you've got the St. James Gate Brewery... that's as good as it can get really.

Tibber · 11-07-2009, 02:48 PM

Wow, I feel like I have such a long road ahead me of. I'm on week six of my breakup after being with my ex nine years. I look forward to being in your shoes. My ex was dishonest too, but to what extent I don't actually know. It's good to hear you are moving on well.

karvala · 11-07-2009, 04:17 PM

That's very eloquently put, Rob. You'll be a real catch for some lucky girl out there.

BTW, did you write and entirely perform that song you recorded? Because it was very good! I was really impressed.

surfNski · 11-07-2009, 04:19 PM

Great to hear the progress man and good tunes. I loved Ireland, beautiful country, in some places it looked like a postcard. I stayed in a castle called Ashford Castle that was absolutely picturesque.

I am getting close to this "But right now it's still hard to be alone on a Saturday night without someone. And notice I said 'someone' and not 'her'!. Many nights I just want someone to love and feel that love in return, its becoming less and less about her and more about me wanting what she was.

Anyway, keep up the healing man were almost there...

Rob1000 · 11-07-2009, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karvala

That's very eloquently put, Rob. You'll be a real catch for some lucky girl out there.

BTW, did you write and entirely perform that song you recorded? Because it was very good! I was really impressed.

Thanks!!! Yeah it's all mine. I wrote it a few years back. Only just got around to recording it this week. I have a mini studio in my house.

11-07-2009, 11:54 AM	#1
Rob1000 Online Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Age: 35 Posts: 652	Having Faith In My Healing Hey guys, It's almost 9 months since my I said good-bye to my ex-fiancee. I left the house one night, knowing she'd be gone by the time I'd get back. I haven't laid eyes on her since. It's been the most traumatic year of my life, without question. I would be four weeks married today had we stayed together. Anyway, the reason I'm writing is that although my despair has been well documented on these boards this past few weeks, I am beginning to have faith in my healing. It's not easy but I can feel myself letting go and getting myself back every day, even though some days I cry my heart out. Now that the weather is getting dark and damp here in Ireland, as the season changes, it begins to remind me of the time when things started to go wrong last year. It's giving me a certain clarity. It's reminding of the time when we broke up. It's reminding me that it all started with a lie. She was dishonest to me. She told me she was going to a friends house one sunday night, but when I drove past the house on my way to the shop later that night, her car wasn't there. I still haven't found out where she was. When I confronted her, she was evasive and unapologetic. I knew there and then, we were in serious trouble. 3 weeks later, it was all over. I found out 3 months later she had shacked up with a married man straight after we broke up. So putting 2+2 together, it's no mystery where she was the night she lied to me. She fell for this guy pretty hard too. They didn't last long after he left the country! Last week, I found out that is seeing someone else now. So if that goes well, in all possibility she will have told 3 different guys she loved them within the space of 1 year. However, thats not my problem or my business. I'm just concentrating on myself. Since I found out about this new guy last week, I have let go of her completely. It's not easy but as I said with the seasons turning around and the year mark heading my way, I'm getting a clear sense of why we broke up. And I am definitely moving on. I can feel it. That said I still mourn the loss of 5 years with my best friend. But she chose her path in the end. Mine was chosen for me. And alone I walk on that path. I have faith that this will be over soon. I will be in the arms of another and I will not care less about my ex. But right now it's still hard to be alone on a Saturday night without someone. And notice I said 'someone' and not 'her'! Love all you guys, Rob PS: I recorded a song in my spare room last week. To hear it follow the link below.. [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] Enjoy!! __________________ It's getting better, man! Anyone need a facebook friend?? Add me... www.facebook.com/rwormald Last edited by Rob1000; 11-07-2009 at 05:26 PM.

11-07-2009, 12:04 PM	#2
vivia12 Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: The Great State of Lousiana Gender: Female Posts: 57	It may have been nine months but at least you seem well on the path of healing and can acknowledge that. Also you didnt make the mistake of marrying someone who is proven unfaithful,kudos to you! Did i read correctly that you are in Ireland? bet you have lots of beauty to surround yourself with,especially in the countryside. __________________ I'm on that No Contact Highway heading West!

11-07-2009, 12:49 PM	#6
InBruges Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 515	Sounds like you're on a good path. And you've got the St. James Gate Brewery... that's as good as it can get really. __________________ "It's a fairytale town, isn't it? How's a fairytale town not somebody's f**ing thing?"

11-07-2009, 04:17 PM	#8
karvala Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Gender: None Specified Posts: 2,330	That's very eloquently put, Rob. You'll be a real catch for some lucky girl out there. BTW, did you write and entirely perform that song you recorded? Because it was very good! I was really impressed. __________________ May you live all the days of your life Trying to heal from after a breakup? Perhaps you need Enhanced No Contact: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1438257

11-07-2009, 04:19 PM	#9
surfNski Offline Silver Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Hawaii Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 346	Great to hear the progress man and good tunes. I loved Ireland, beautiful country, in some places it looked like a postcard. I stayed in a castle called Ashford Castle that was absolutely picturesque. I am getting close to this "But right now it's still hard to be alone on a Saturday night without someone. And notice I said 'someone' and not 'her'!. Many nights I just want someone to love and feel that love in return, its becoming less and less about her and more about me wanting what she was. Anyway, keep up the healing man were almost there... __________________ "20 years from now, you will be more disappointed in the things you didn’t do than in the ones you did do." - Mark Twain "So many cats, so few recipes"

11-07-2009, 12:08 PM	#4
quirky girl Online Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: greece/uk Gender: Female Age: 31 Posts: 1,179	aaaahhh..Ireland, seems like such a nice place. It does indeed sound like you're doing ok, I'm sure knowing she's with someone else encourages you to move on. Have you gone on any dates?

11-07-2009, 02:48 PM	#7
Tibber Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Colorado Gender: Male Age: 31 Posts: 141	Wow, I feel like I have such a long road ahead me of. I'm on week six of my breakup after being with my ex nine years. I look forward to being in your shoes. My ex was dishonest too, but to what extent I don't actually know. It's good to hear you are moving on well.