Some encouragement

Jaeiyola · 11-07-2009, 09:33 AM

Past two days I've been doing really well. Even though I saw him, I acted happy. I hung out with a friend all day yesterday, and had a really good time. Went to bed, finally feeling like I can get over him.
This morning I completely broke down. I dreamed about him - about us still being together, and now I'm up so early (usually I sleep for hours.) Been crying all morning, and couldn't seem to bring myself out of this mood. I just want to be with him.
Why is is so easy for him to move on?

Greedy Toad · 11-07-2009, 09:44 AM

Ohhh, i'm sorry J.
I have had dreams like that too. You wake up and it felt so so real.

All i can really say is hang in there. Keep doing what you are doing.
Lean on your friends, and NEVER EVER assume that someone has moved on and is happy as a pig in mud. A lot of the time they aren't.

Jaeiyola · 11-07-2009, 09:57 AM

I just want to call him and be like "look, do you still love me, and if you do, why can't we be together. Whatever problems we had, we can work through it because I love you and I'm willing to do all I can for us to make it."
When he broke up with me, he told me he still loves me. But it doesn't make sense to me. Why wouldn't you be with someone that you love?

I know people have always said to act like you're okay and show that you know need him, but I just want to call, sob my tears out and tell him I still love him.

I know I can't do that though. I wrote him a letter friday and made a promise to myself that, that will be the last contact where I told him about my feelings. I had though that letter would sum up everything and start my healing process. Doesn't help that tomorrow's our would be anniversary.

libra89 · 11-07-2009, 10:47 AM

Hi Jaeiyola,

This truth is we would never know how exactly they are feeling and if it is easy for them to move on. But one of the biggest thing I learn from my own break up is that it is impossible to for you to want the relationship for both of you. Everyone has their own choice and in a relationship, both of you must want to be together and want to work together. The problem now is that he no longer has this want for some reason.

There will be good days, there will be bad ones. You need to be kind to yourself. Things will definitely get better with time. Give yourself space and time to reflect on the relationship and more about your life. What else do you want to achieve in your life? Have you been missing out on your family and other close friends? I found my break up to be a period of much-needed personal growth and understanding.

Trust that everything happens for a reason. And if it is meant to be, it will be. If he really loves you, he will be back. But if he does not, it just means that there is someone out there who will be a better fit for you. Yes, the future is very uncertain. But sometimes, we simply have to trust.

I really hope that you feel better soon. =)

P.S. Here's an article you might like to read if you still can't sleep. [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

11-07-2009, 09:33 AM	#1
Jaeiyola Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 12	Some encouragement Past two days I've been doing really well. Even though I saw him, I acted happy. I hung out with a friend all day yesterday, and had a really good time. Went to bed, finally feeling like I can get over him. This morning I completely broke down. I dreamed about him - about us still being together, and now I'm up so early (usually I sleep for hours.) Been crying all morning, and couldn't seem to bring myself out of this mood. I just want to be with him. Why is is so easy for him to move on?

11-07-2009, 09:44 AM	#2
Greedy Toad Offline Gold Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Melbourne Posts: 504	Ohhh, i'm sorry J. I have had dreams like that too. You wake up and it felt so so real. All i can really say is hang in there. Keep doing what you are doing. Lean on your friends, and NEVER EVER assume that someone has moved on and is happy as a pig in mud. A lot of the time they aren't. __________________ The road to hell is paved with good intentions

11-07-2009, 10:47 AM	#4
libra89 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 25	Hi Jaeiyola, This truth is we would never know how exactly they are feeling and if it is easy for them to move on. But one of the biggest thing I learn from my own break up is that it is impossible to for you to want the relationship for both of you. Everyone has their own choice and in a relationship, both of you must want to be together and want to work together. The problem now is that he no longer has this want for some reason. There will be good days, there will be bad ones. You need to be kind to yourself. Things will definitely get better with time. Give yourself space and time to reflect on the relationship and more about your life. What else do you want to achieve in your life? Have you been missing out on your family and other close friends? I found my break up to be a period of much-needed personal growth and understanding. Trust that everything happens for a reason. And if it is meant to be, it will be. If he really loves you, he will be back. But if he does not, it just means that there is someone out there who will be a better fit for you. Yes, the future is very uncertain. But sometimes, we simply have to trust. I really hope that you feel better soon. =) P.S. Here's an article you might like to read if you still can't sleep. [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] Last edited by libra89; 11-07-2009 at 10:56 AM. Reason: added a note at the end.

11-07-2009, 09:57 AM	#3
Jaeiyola Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 12	I just want to call him and be like "look, do you still love me, and if you do, why can't we be together. Whatever problems we had, we can work through it because I love you and I'm willing to do all I can for us to make it." When he broke up with me, he told me he still loves me. But it doesn't make sense to me. Why wouldn't you be with someone that you love? I know people have always said to act like you're okay and show that you know need him, but I just want to call, sob my tears out and tell him I still love him. I know I can't do that though. I wrote him a letter friday and made a promise to myself that, that will be the last contact where I told him about my feelings. I had though that letter would sum up everything and start my healing process. Doesn't help that tomorrow's our would be anniversary.