How do you reject someone "nicely"?

1MoreChance · 11-07-2009, 08:42 AM

So this guy I saw on 2 different occasions basically rejected me by not calling when he said he would.

After our second evening together, he called me over a couple of days and we briefly talked on the phone. then I took the lead and invited him (cause he had invited me the first 2 times) and he said how about Friday and that he'd call before and he never did.

maybe he was a little confused/unsure/didn't want me to fel bad so therefore he acted interested, but HOW do you let someone know you don't want a 3rd date without lying like he did? How do your reject someone "nicely"?

keep in mind this is a person I have known for years and that I occasionally see/need to call on a business basis. How would you do it? Boy is it gonna be uncomfortable next time we need to contact each other.

Greedy Toad · 11-07-2009, 08:44 AM

LOL, new thread

I'd politely decline the invitation.

pinkelephant · 11-07-2009, 08:46 AM

depends on your definition of nice.

non-confrontational: "i'm busy... so busy..."
super honest nice: "i dont think we should see each other anymore..."

Greedy Toad · 11-07-2009, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkelephant

depends on your definition of nice.

non-confrontational: "i'm busy... so busy..."
super honest nice: "i dont think we should see each other anymore..."

LOL, that's nicely?

Doesn't it give them hope that soon you won't be busy?

1MoreChance · 11-07-2009, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy Toad

LOL, new thread

I'd politely decline the invitation.

Ha ha LOL no I meant how could HE have rejected me nicely, instead of doing what he did (=not calling when he said he would)??? Not how can *I* now reject him (which I probably will do but I don't think the opportunity will present itself).

1MoreChance · 11-07-2009, 08:49 AM

"non-confrontational: "i'm busy... so busy...""

Got it, Pinkelephant. he said this both times he called. He was trying to let me know he didn't wish to see me again.

lesson learned!

Ammy · 11-07-2009, 08:51 AM

I usually use the busy excuse as awful as that sounds... I just hate being direct... If it's pushed however I simply say, I don't think it would work out. I feel bad, because I don't think taking the indirect approach is kinder, but it is easier and less confrontational. I also know that I prefer the slow disappearing act to the direct "I don't want to see you" thing...

Ammy

Greedy Toad · 11-07-2009, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1MoreChance

Ha ha LOL no I meant how could HE have rejected me nicely, instead of doing what he did (=not calling when he said he would)??? Not how can *I* now reject him (which I probably will do but I don't think the opportunity will present itself).

Ooooooooooooooooh, duh to me!!

Hmmmm, it can be hard letting someone know that maybe you don't want to take things further.

I would probably say, in your case, probably best we just kept our relationship professional. I had a really nice time with you, but didn't feel the click.

Something like that I suppose.

pinkelephant · 11-07-2009, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy Toad

LOL, that's nicely?

Doesn't it give them hope that soon you won't be busy?

after the 10th i'm busy... they tend to get the message. lol ><

1MoreChance · 11-07-2009, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy Toad

LOL, that's nicely?

Doesn't it give them hope that soon you won't be busy?

Haha it did for me!

11-07-2009, 08:42 AM	#1
1MoreChance Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 1,358	How do you reject someone "nicely"? So this guy I saw on 2 different occasions basically rejected me by not calling when he said he would. After our second evening together, he called me over a couple of days and we briefly talked on the phone. then I took the lead and invited him (cause he had invited me the first 2 times) and he said how about Friday and that he'd call before and he never did. maybe he was a little confused/unsure/didn't want me to fel bad so therefore he acted interested, but HOW do you let someone know you don't want a 3rd date without lying like he did? How do your reject someone "nicely"? keep in mind this is a person I have known for years and that I occasionally see/need to call on a business basis. How would you do it? Boy is it gonna be uncomfortable next time we need to contact each other. __________________ Fake it til you make it!

11-07-2009, 08:44 AM	#2
Greedy Toad Offline Gold Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Melbourne Posts: 504	LOL, new thread I'd politely decline the invitation. __________________ The road to hell is paved with good intentions

11-07-2009, 08:49 AM	#6
1MoreChance Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 1,358	"non-confrontational: "i'm busy... so busy..."" Got it, Pinkelephant. he said this both times he called. He was trying to let me know he didn't wish to see me again. lesson learned! __________________ Fake it til you make it!

11-07-2009, 08:51 AM	#7
Ammy Offline Gold Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Sydney, Australia Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 1,081	I usually use the busy excuse as awful as that sounds... I just hate being direct... If it's pushed however I simply say, I don't think it would work out. I feel bad, because I don't think taking the indirect approach is kinder, but it is easier and less confrontational. I also know that I prefer the slow disappearing act to the direct "I don't want to see you" thing... Ammy __________________ Prepare yourself to meet, the girl who cannot sleep, dividing every question till the questions are complete - She's always the analyst.

11-07-2009, 08:46 AM	#3
pinkelephant Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Lala land Gender: None Specified Posts: 2,615	depends on your definition of nice. non-confrontational: "i'm busy... so busy..." super honest nice: "i dont think we should see each other anymore..."