Rebound etiquette

[andytandreou]

hi all,

My situation is that my bf of 3 years and i where in love, weed turned me into a huge a-hole and needless to say i've learned my lesson. got my life back on track and now i am trying to get the love of my life back. this experience has been the best thing to have happened to me in a way, apart from loosing a wonderful person from my life.


He is dating someone else now and allthough i've followed a plan had one month of NC and them met on a nice coffee date (which went very well) i still don't know what to do next! Shall i keep NC for a few more months till rebound relationship is fizzled out? Shall i stay in the picture? What can i do?

[Anyway]

Originally Posted by andytandreou

What can i do?

You can do yourself a favor and move on. He's gone.

[matador1972]

Originally Posted by Anyway

You can do yourself a favor and move on. He's gone.

You dont know that.

Im rebuilding things with my wife, and i am doing it by having contact, its taken me 3 or 4 weeks of increased contact and getting comfortable again with each other to see we might have a future.

You cant win them back though until you start to move on, so just work on yourself.

[QWit]

Originally Posted by Anyway

You can do yourself a favor and move on. He's gone.

He is not exactly gone. However, he is moving on, which is something you should do as well.Trust me, a lot of us (including me) are experiencing this situation. The best thing you can do for yourself is leave him along and work on yourself. Hard as it sounds, start living your life as if there is not a possibility that he is coming back. Don't continue to have a lot contact with him while he is with the new girl because it just makes you look like you are his emotional crutch.You basically spoiling him with your attention, which he probably does not deserve. If just a friendship is what you want, then continue with the contact. If you want reconciliation, then your silence may send him a strong message. If there was any care and consideration in your relationship, he will not stop thinking about you and may start to take you more seriously.. Honestly, the no contact is not a strategy. It is a vehicle that will allow you to regain your self-respect. If it helps you get the ex back, that is just a bonus.

There are NO PLANS to help you get someone back. We are NOT in control of anyone's thoughts and feelings..The only person you can control is YOU...The sooner you realize that, the better you will feel about moving on and reconciling with YOURSELF..