How long do i wait until i hear from bf about doing anything ?

rollingon · 11-07-2009, 02:17 AM

How long to you wait around to see if your doing something with your boyfriend for the night?

I know it might seem and sound silly, but we only really see each other saturday nights (or fridays). If i dont hear from him friday, we arn't doing anything and then have to wait on saturday. I dont like it, but its the way it is. He just tells me he oesn't know what hes got on blah blah. Its annoying but i cant doing anything. he's at college and has essays/exams to prepare for, and he says he cant 'commit' to any plans. Rather BS i know coz he makes time to play golf 2 or 3 times a week!...anyways...

So i rarely know if im seeing him saturday night before 5pm.

Its frustrating. IN the past ive made plans and i've been yelled at and almost hang up on coz i wasn't free to see him. its easier to just not make them.

He has once sent me a facebook mesage at 7.30 to go over to his place. i didn't get it until 8.30 and was a bit annoyed (why not call me!) and it was a bit late (he lives 30 mins away) and then i had to change/get ready. And then he went all guilt trip on me.

Whether theres issues/problems there or not, not the point! lol.

What im asking is, how long do i wait? Like to a certain time? When do i stop waiting and go do something? I kow it sounds pathetic but its the way it is.

If i haven't heard from him by 6 or 7pm do i just go out?

Scarlet 1 · 11-07-2009, 02:42 AM

i think it's very selfish of him to expact you to always be ready when he wants you to be. you are only hurting yourself but to be honest with you i do it too! you feel used often times because you have to wait for them so long! he can't expect you to sit and wait for him the whole night so i would say you should go out at 7

Butterfly~Wrists · 11-07-2009, 02:48 AM

if you want to make other plans text him and say "sorry I haven't heard from you so my friends and I are doing this.." dont wait until he tells u to come.

rollingon · 11-07-2009, 02:58 AM

thanks.

I know, and i agree its stupid and i have told myself SO many times that, im jsut gonna make my own plans.

I just end up thinking well if i dont wait and i go out, i wont see him for a week. I know i shouldn't 'care' because seems he doesn't.

Its nearly 6.30 and i haven't heard from him.

If he cant for whatever reason (say college stuff), its not hard to just say that instead of making me wait....

i tend to 'wait' because saturdays are the only day we catch up at night. So i tend to leave them 'free'...but i hate the waiting.

I sent him a text once coz i got fed up waiting, just asking if we are doing anything and he replies 'i take that as you want to come over so come over'....not the response i want. im not inviting my self over

Butterfly~Wrists · 11-07-2009, 03:01 AM

ah, my ex was like that, never saying what he wanted, just whatever and stuff.
If it gets to you, tell him. if he doesnt change, say you will make your own plans and if he wants to see you, he has to tell you.

rollingon · 11-07-2009, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Butterfly~Wrists

ah, my ex was like that, never saying what he wanted, just whatever and stuff.
If it gets to you, tell him. if he doesnt change, say you will make your own plans and if he wants to see you, he has to tell you.

thanks.

i think its just him.... but yeah if it conitnues i might have to. its not hard to know if you want to see me that night. its not hard to tell me the day before. even if we dont jnow what we are doing, just say ' come over at 7 tomorrow babe'.... easy. you both know..!

but quiet often he'l ask me at 7pm to go over and to be there at 7.30. - he lives 30 mins away and i'd have to have a shower/get ready. coz i can' see the point in being all ready on an off chance he'll say to go over.

Greedy Toad · 11-07-2009, 03:11 AM

I wouldn't even bother saying sorry.

Make your plans.
If you have somewhere you want to go on a Friday or Saturday night, ring him, ask him, if he is indecisive, that he wants or think he may have something else on then make your plans with someone else.

Right now, you are simply an emergency option in-case nothing better comes along.

Trust me, make your plans yourself. Don't linger around waiting for him.

He is NOT respecting you at all (whether it is intentional or not)

Go your own way, and he will soon follow.

rollingon · 11-07-2009, 03:11 AM

i dont even know if theres any point in texting him and asking what he's up to.

is there?

i feel like i give in all the time, or im the one who has to ask. I know i tend to wait for him to make plans, and choose a day to do something BUT that is only because he is the busy one and i never know when he's free. I used to ask a lot but would get 'im busy' or something and no mention of 'but we can do it tomrorow' or something, so i stopped. you dont keep asking if you keep getting a no

jess2009 · 11-07-2009, 03:11 AM

i think its about time to teach him a lesson of his own medicine, i don't mean to be rude but just say that you are unavailable due to some family stuff /friend party and keep him in limbo for a while.

go out and have fun with you friends....

if he complains, then you can always justify that you always do this for him...this approach might work well.........

rollingon · 11-07-2009, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy Toad

Right now, you are simply an emergency option in-case nothing better comes along.

Trust me, make your plans yourself. Don't linger around waiting for him.

He is NOT respecting you at all (whether it is intentional or not)

Go your own way, and he will soon follow.

thats exactly how i feel!!

I make him a priority in my life, but i dont feel like i priority in his.

If he has an essay due, thas fine, but its easy to just tell me that!

And the thing is i dont think he goes out hanging out ith the boys or drinking, he's not like that. he doesn't reall yhave a 'group'. he would be at home watching tv instead...

11-07-2009, 02:17 AM	#1
rollingon Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 73	How long do i wait until i hear from bf about doing anything ? How long to you wait around to see if your doing something with your boyfriend for the night? I know it might seem and sound silly, but we only really see each other saturday nights (or fridays). If i dont hear from him friday, we arn't doing anything and then have to wait on saturday. I dont like it, but its the way it is. He just tells me he oesn't know what hes got on blah blah. Its annoying but i cant doing anything. he's at college and has essays/exams to prepare for, and he says he cant 'commit' to any plans. Rather BS i know coz he makes time to play golf 2 or 3 times a week!...anyways... So i rarely know if im seeing him saturday night before 5pm. Its frustrating. IN the past ive made plans and i've been yelled at and almost hang up on coz i wasn't free to see him. its easier to just not make them. He has once sent me a facebook mesage at 7.30 to go over to his place. i didn't get it until 8.30 and was a bit annoyed (why not call me!) and it was a bit late (he lives 30 mins away) and then i had to change/get ready. And then he went all guilt trip on me. Whether theres issues/problems there or not, not the point! lol. What im asking is, how long do i wait? Like to a certain time? When do i stop waiting and go do something? I kow it sounds pathetic but its the way it is. If i haven't heard from him by 6 or 7pm do i just go out?

11-07-2009, 03:11 AM	#7
Greedy Toad Offline Gold Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Melbourne Posts: 504	I wouldn't even bother saying sorry. Make your plans. If you have somewhere you want to go on a Friday or Saturday night, ring him, ask him, if he is indecisive, that he wants or think he may have something else on then make your plans with someone else. Right now, you are simply an emergency option in-case nothing better comes along. Trust me, make your plans yourself. Don't linger around waiting for him. He is NOT respecting you at all (whether it is intentional or not) Go your own way, and he will soon follow. __________________ The road to hell is paved with good intentions

11-07-2009, 02:42 AM	#2
Scarlet 1 Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: South Africa Gender: Female Posts: 80	i think it's very selfish of him to expact you to always be ready when he wants you to be. you are only hurting yourself but to be honest with you i do it too! you feel used often times because you have to wait for them so long! he can't expect you to sit and wait for him the whole night so i would say you should go out at 7

11-07-2009, 02:48 AM	#3
Butterfly~Wrists Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 1,649	if you want to make other plans text him and say "sorry I haven't heard from you so my friends and I are doing this.." dont wait until he tells u to come.

11-07-2009, 02:58 AM	#4
rollingon Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 73	thanks. I know, and i agree its stupid and i have told myself SO many times that, im jsut gonna make my own plans. I just end up thinking well if i dont wait and i go out, i wont see him for a week. I know i shouldn't 'care' because seems he doesn't. Its nearly 6.30 and i haven't heard from him. If he cant for whatever reason (say college stuff), its not hard to just say that instead of making me wait.... i tend to 'wait' because saturdays are the only day we catch up at night. So i tend to leave them 'free'...but i hate the waiting. I sent him a text once coz i got fed up waiting, just asking if we are doing anything and he replies 'i take that as you want to come over so come over'....not the response i want. im not inviting my self over

11-07-2009, 03:01 AM	#5
Butterfly~Wrists Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 1,649	ah, my ex was like that, never saying what he wanted, just whatever and stuff. If it gets to you, tell him. if he doesnt change, say you will make your own plans and if he wants to see you, he has to tell you.

11-07-2009, 03:11 AM	#9
jess2009 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Female Posts: 106	i think its about time to teach him a lesson of his own medicine, i don't mean to be rude but just say that you are unavailable due to some family stuff /friend party and keep him in limbo for a while. go out and have fun with you friends.... if he complains, then you can always justify that you always do this for him...this approach might work well.........