Oh,Oh! I'm back here again!

56mercgal · 11-03-2009, 11:51 PM

Some of you might remember me from way back when I posted all about this really cool guy I was gaga over from Ohio. In case you don't here it is in a hopefully not to large nutshell-I met a guy who was playing in one of my fave bands in Vegas in Sept 07. When I went to the backstage door to get autographs, he came out, held up my hand to see if there was a ring on a finger and introduced himself. WOW! Did I feel a spark! It's still there, to this day. We spent three hours altogether talking like long lost freinds. We exchanged cards, and he e-mailed me twice saying he missed me and wanted to talk. I e-mailed him when I got back home, which started a weird,frustrating,fun but very emotional tossing and turning on my part. Lasted 9 months. I would over worry about him, he said he wasn't the best at communication (no kidding!!) and several times I would call and not hear from him for several days. He would apologize and say he was very busy working, he has two jobs, musician and builder of instruments. He would say he really cared for me, he missed me and would try to come out to see me. I really felt this was THE one, otherwise why would there be such a strong connection and feeling with him?? I would talk about moving to Oregon, and he loved the idea. He would say things I wanted to hear. He attempted to come out in Dec that year (2007) but work would not let anyone go. I would nag him because I was insecure about things I worried about, which was bad. He would reassure me not to worry. His voice was so comforting, I missed him so much! I just felt this intensly strong connection to him. We had an awful lot in common, including very personal beliefs. The, starting in 2008, the communication became less, he was going thru a tramatic time with a relative, and had his car broken into with thousands of dollars of musical intruments stolen. Come May, I decided to buy a ticket to fly out to Ohio and see him. He said that would be great. Then, in early July, he called me up one last time and said he just could not see he. He said I cannot have you here. He gave reasons like the band was getting really busy, they are going to England, he couldn't imagine being around all the nagging and worrying with me. He said he would pay me back the ticket. He said we would still be freinds and call once in a while and send Christmas presents, That never happened. Fast forward to this Oct. I just came back from a great trip to Ohio, for business and to visit a freind. I called him for the heck of it on a Thursday, and on the next SAt, he called me back! Was I surprised. He said we had alot to talk about and could we get together for coffee that Sun in Cincinatti. I said,yeah. So we did, had a good long talk. The following weekend, he came over on Friday and stayed thru Sunday afternoon. We talked alot again, said he was living in a dreamland and really wanted to do the things he said, but in reality, he just can't. He would not be able to provide me the house or things I wanted. He apologized for alot of things. He said he still cared and loved me. He did pay me back finally. Said he forgot about the ticket, gee, how nice! Well, we did get very intimate both nights, it was wonderful! Then I spent the next Tuesday night with him at his place. Being with him is like a warm fire and a good glass of wine, I told him how amazingly comfortable I am with him. I could easily get used to having him tuck me in at night and wake me in the morning. He thought that was cool I apologize for this being so long, but I think details are necessary here

Now, it's been 5 days since I last talked to him. I told him if we could just talk once a week that would be fine. Now I feel like we are back to the lack of communication thing again. I DO not want to play that game again. So what do you think?? I am not going to get all emotional over him this time, even though I still have deep feelings for him, I have much better control

now!

DadaJones · 11-04-2009, 12:40 AM

I'm gonna guess its either Ace Frehley or Warren DeMartini...c'mon didn't you watch Spinal Tap...girlfriends, the band, and the road just don't mix...but seriously, you slept with him too soon in the progression of the 2nd time of the relationship...he wanted you to make him earn it.

56mercgal · 11-04-2009, 01:04 AM

Well, just a little more info on him, he's 58, in an oldies band and I am 43. I know, age differance. But, most of the guys I have dated are in their 50's. I just get along with that generation the best. I can relate to the music, and ideals of the boomers. He is also very warm with others he meets. He gets along with everyone. He helps people who are less fortunate as well. He really is kind and compassionate. I just don't understand why when I was in Ohio, it was easy to call him and either get him on the phone the first time or he would call me back shortly. Now, I cannot get a hold of him. What gives?? Been over 5 days now.

DadaJones · 11-04-2009, 01:10 AM

He's still a guy...you almost have to start over...until TRUST is established it doesn't matter if he heals the sick or makes you feel like wine and chocalate...the women that he settles with, if thats a possibility even, has to make him respect her.

56mercgal · 11-04-2009, 01:41 AM

Your'e right. My best freind who has been like a counselor to me in the past with this guy, says he doesn't really trust him. He likes this guy, but there's just something he doesn't trust. They have met before, when we went to this Vegas show in 07. All 3 of us hung out together after the show, after I had spent almost 3 hours talking to this guy. Weird. Of all the guys I had to feel a immense connection to. Why me?? Maybe this is a test of something,lol!

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-04-2009, 06:44 AM

I wonder how many other women who go back stage to get autographs from him he has "entertained" in this way. The fact that he grabbed your hand to see if there was a ring suggests that he is very well experienced with this kind of thing. I would say that he is a smooth talker and he may have been entertaining another woman when he told you not to show up. Clearly he is not the keen on you for a relationship...just for a bit of fun and then he goes back to his own life. I would forget about this guy...you will not get any relationship out of him.

56mercgal · 11-05-2009, 12:49 AM

I decide to just end all communication with this guy. I feel he lied to me about how he cares and loves me. I feel like I made him say he loves me. I thought we got all the things talked about like miscommunications, not enough communication, then me posting how upset I was at him on Myspace and youtube (oops! ) He was a bit mad about that, one of his band members read what I wrote and told him "Hey!" that must be you! Who else plays in that band she's talking about?? And there was a pic of me and him as well. Kinda obvious! It's been a week since we talked. When I was there in Ohio, we talked on the cel almost everyday. So, go figure. I feel he used me for what he wanted, came across so sincere,gentle, comapssionate and caring. What a fool I am! I sent him an e-mail not to call me or write me again. And that he lied. I am not playing this game again. It will take time, but this is the last straw. Not worth even trying to be freinds with the guy, it's too weird.

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-05-2009, 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 56mercgal

I decide to just end all communication with this guy. I feel he lied to me about how he cares and loves me. I feel like I made him say he loves me. I thought we got all the things talked about like miscommunications, not enough communication, then me posting how upset I was at him on Myspace and youtube (oops! ) He was a bit mad about that, one of his band members read what I wrote and told him "Hey!" that must be you! Who else plays in that band she's talking about?? And there was a pic of me and him as well. Kinda obvious! It's been a week since we talked. When I was there in Ohio, we talked on the cel almost everyday. So, go figure. I feel he used me for what he wanted, came across so sincere,gentle, comapssionate and caring. What a fool I am! I sent him an e-mail not to call me or write me again. And that he lied. I am not playing this game again. It will take time, but this is the last straw. Not worth even trying to be freinds with the guy, it's too weird.

Yep, best to forget this guy.

56mercgal · 11-10-2009, 12:29 PM

Well, I got a call from this guy on Thursday, same day I sent off that e-mail. His first words were "Hey, What was that e-mail all about??" I said I was very frustrated that he hadn't returned my calls for several days. His answer was that he was swamped over the last week. Yeah, can't even take five min to say Hi? I guess not. Same thing as before. I apologized and he said we still had alot to talk over someday and we talked about other things for half an hour. He said he would try to call me before the weekend was over. He hadn't done that. I left a message late Sun night. It's funny, someone who says they care for you,love you and physically shows it when you are right there with them, to reassure you you are special to them, but then you head back home, and it's all of a sudden,"I'mm to busy to talk to you" Talk about actions speaking louder than words! I need to douse these feelings and head for someone else. I imagine what it would be like if we DID have a relationship. Wonder how THAT would work, I don't think it would!

11-03-2009, 11:51 PM	#1
56mercgal Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Monterey County,CA (for now) Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 85	Oh,Oh! I'm back here again! Some of you might remember me from way back when I posted all about this really cool guy I was gaga over from Ohio. In case you don't here it is in a hopefully not to large nutshell-I met a guy who was playing in one of my fave bands in Vegas in Sept 07. When I went to the backstage door to get autographs, he came out, held up my hand to see if there was a ring on a finger and introduced himself. WOW! Did I feel a spark! It's still there, to this day. We spent three hours altogether talking like long lost freinds. We exchanged cards, and he e-mailed me twice saying he missed me and wanted to talk. I e-mailed him when I got back home, which started a weird,frustrating,fun but very emotional tossing and turning on my part. Lasted 9 months. I would over worry about him, he said he wasn't the best at communication (no kidding!!) and several times I would call and not hear from him for several days. He would apologize and say he was very busy working, he has two jobs, musician and builder of instruments. He would say he really cared for me, he missed me and would try to come out to see me. I really felt this was THE one, otherwise why would there be such a strong connection and feeling with him?? I would talk about moving to Oregon, and he loved the idea. He would say things I wanted to hear. He attempted to come out in Dec that year (2007) but work would not let anyone go. I would nag him because I was insecure about things I worried about, which was bad. He would reassure me not to worry. His voice was so comforting, I missed him so much! I just felt this intensly strong connection to him. We had an awful lot in common, including very personal beliefs. The, starting in 2008, the communication became less, he was going thru a tramatic time with a relative, and had his car broken into with thousands of dollars of musical intruments stolen. Come May, I decided to buy a ticket to fly out to Ohio and see him. He said that would be great. Then, in early July, he called me up one last time and said he just could not see he. He said I cannot have you here. He gave reasons like the band was getting really busy, they are going to England, he couldn't imagine being around all the nagging and worrying with me. He said he would pay me back the ticket. He said we would still be freinds and call once in a while and send Christmas presents, That never happened. Fast forward to this Oct. I just came back from a great trip to Ohio, for business and to visit a freind. I called him for the heck of it on a Thursday, and on the next SAt, he called me back! Was I surprised. He said we had alot to talk about and could we get together for coffee that Sun in Cincinatti. I said,yeah. So we did, had a good long talk. The following weekend, he came over on Friday and stayed thru Sunday afternoon. We talked alot again, said he was living in a dreamland and really wanted to do the things he said, but in reality, he just can't. He would not be able to provide me the house or things I wanted. He apologized for alot of things. He said he still cared and loved me. He did pay me back finally. Said he forgot about the ticket, gee, how nice! Well, we did get very intimate both nights, it was wonderful! Then I spent the next Tuesday night with him at his place. Being with him is like a warm fire and a good glass of wine, I told him how amazingly comfortable I am with him. I could easily get used to having him tuck me in at night and wake me in the morning. He thought that was cool I apologize for this being so long, but I think details are necessary here Now, it's been 5 days since I last talked to him. I told him if we could just talk once a week that would be fine. Now I feel like we are back to the lack of communication thing again. I DO not want to play that game again. So what do you think?? I am not going to get all emotional over him this time, even though I still have deep feelings for him, I have much better control now! Last edited by 56mercgal; 11-03-2009 at 11:59 PM. Reason: trying to seperate the paragraphs

11-04-2009, 12:40 AM	#2
DadaJones Offline Silver Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: nyc Gender: Male Posts: 340	I'm gonna guess its either Ace Frehley or Warren DeMartini...c'mon didn't you watch Spinal Tap...girlfriends, the band, and the road just don't mix...but seriously, you slept with him too soon in the progression of the 2nd time of the relationship...he wanted you to make him earn it.

11-04-2009, 01:04 AM	#3
56mercgal Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Monterey County,CA (for now) Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 85	Well, just a little more info on him, he's 58, in an oldies band and I am 43. I know, age differance. But, most of the guys I have dated are in their 50's. I just get along with that generation the best. I can relate to the music, and ideals of the boomers. He is also very warm with others he meets. He gets along with everyone. He helps people who are less fortunate as well. He really is kind and compassionate. I just don't understand why when I was in Ohio, it was easy to call him and either get him on the phone the first time or he would call me back shortly. Now, I cannot get a hold of him. What gives?? Been over 5 days now.

11-04-2009, 01:10 AM	#4
DadaJones Offline Silver Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: nyc Gender: Male Posts: 340	He's still a guy...you almost have to start over...until TRUST is established it doesn't matter if he heals the sick or makes you feel like wine and chocalate...the women that he settles with, if thats a possibility even, has to make him respect her.

11-04-2009, 01:41 AM	#5
56mercgal Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Monterey County,CA (for now) Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 85	Your'e right. My best freind who has been like a counselor to me in the past with this guy, says he doesn't really trust him. He likes this guy, but there's just something he doesn't trust. They have met before, when we went to this Vegas show in 07. All 3 of us hung out together after the show, after I had spent almost 3 hours talking to this guy. Weird. Of all the guys I had to feel a immense connection to. Why me?? Maybe this is a test of something,lol!

11-04-2009, 06:44 AM	#6
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,630	I wonder how many other women who go back stage to get autographs from him he has "entertained" in this way. The fact that he grabbed your hand to see if there was a ring suggests that he is very well experienced with this kind of thing. I would say that he is a smooth talker and he may have been entertaining another woman when he told you not to show up. Clearly he is not the keen on you for a relationship...just for a bit of fun and then he goes back to his own life. I would forget about this guy...you will not get any relationship out of him.

11-05-2009, 12:49 AM	#7
56mercgal Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Monterey County,CA (for now) Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 85	I decide to just end all communication with this guy. I feel he lied to me about how he cares and loves me. I feel like I made him say he loves me. I thought we got all the things talked about like miscommunications, not enough communication, then me posting how upset I was at him on Myspace and youtube (oops! ) He was a bit mad about that, one of his band members read what I wrote and told him "Hey!" that must be you! Who else plays in that band she's talking about?? And there was a pic of me and him as well. Kinda obvious! It's been a week since we talked. When I was there in Ohio, we talked on the cel almost everyday. So, go figure. I feel he used me for what he wanted, came across so sincere,gentle, comapssionate and caring. What a fool I am! I sent him an e-mail not to call me or write me again. And that he lied. I am not playing this game again. It will take time, but this is the last straw. Not worth even trying to be freinds with the guy, it's too weird.

11-10-2009, 12:29 PM	#9
56mercgal Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Monterey County,CA (for now) Gender: Female Age: 42 Posts: 85	Well, I got a call from this guy on Thursday, same day I sent off that e-mail. His first words were "Hey, What was that e-mail all about??" I said I was very frustrated that he hadn't returned my calls for several days. His answer was that he was swamped over the last week. Yeah, can't even take five min to say Hi? I guess not. Same thing as before. I apologized and he said we still had alot to talk over someday and we talked about other things for half an hour. He said he would try to call me before the weekend was over. He hadn't done that. I left a message late Sun night. It's funny, someone who says they care for you,love you and physically shows it when you are right there with them, to reassure you you are special to them, but then you head back home, and it's all of a sudden,"I'mm to busy to talk to you" Talk about actions speaking louder than words! I need to douse these feelings and head for someone else. I imagine what it would be like if we DID have a relationship. Wonder how THAT would work, I don't think it would!