Don't Know how to Date...

Iggy5129 · 11-03-2009, 09:45 PM

Ok, I'm 23 and I've had a few boyfriends (probably like 5) in my life, but I have only been in somewhat serious committed relationships. I've never just dated.

Well, I just moved to the West Coast from the Midwest a year ago, and I haven't dated anyone really since my last boyfriend that I broke up with to come out here. I've had a few "flings" and I put that in quotes because they were really just hookups.

When I first moved out here it seemed like guys paid attention to me all the time, now I feel like no one notices me. I had a huge crush on this guy I work with and we hooked up but nothing came of it because he's a jerk and has a girlfriend and ever since then I am just fed up with guys. That was back in April.

Now I am really starting to feel lonely and would just like someone to hang out with. To be perfectly honest I feel like I am wasting my youth not getting out there and meeting people. I am not necessarily looking for something serious but I am not opposed to that either. Just whatever happens happens I guess.

So what suggestions do you guys have for getting out there? I am a little wary of online dating, but kind of willing to try it. I don't really see any other way to meet guys, I am open to all suggestions. I am tired of being such a loner.

IGlareOften · 11-03-2009, 10:26 PM

Okay. There are so many people who advocate online dating. DON'T DO IT.

IGlareOften · 11-03-2009, 10:28 PM

OOPS. For one....you're too young to go that route. Do you have any sort of a hobbies or interests that could help you meet people? I know there are these organizations who organize outings for singles in your area. It's not meant for dating or whatever...but it obviously turns into that. I'd say check on that. They go like bowling, rock climbing...or rent out a boat and take people sailing or have a big party. It's pretty chill. You meet lots of people your age...and it's fairly stress free. That's all I have so far.

**lady00** · 11-03-2009, 10:34 PM

I am personally not a fan of online dating and don't see myself trying it again. That said, it is a way to meet a lot of people and there are people who have found success using it. So it may be worth exploring. You might enjoy it. Also "online dating" is a bit of a misnomer because it's not like you'll actually be "dating" online, but rather meeting people online that you will date in real life so if you look at it that way it's not radically different from meeting someone for the first time in a bookstore or coffee shop or wherever and then striking up a conversation with them.

mysticdaisy · 11-03-2009, 11:41 PM

The dating part is the same no matter how you meet, yes.

As for meeting people, what skillset do you think you have or could develop more easily?
A) Talking to strangers easily, thinking on your feet, charisma, strong body language transmission and reading, and building a tolerance of rejection? Ask people out in coffee shops, etc. It's much faster and you get a wider variety of dates, but it requires thinking out side of the box and is harsher.

B) Good writing skills (grammar and imagery), planning skills, a broadly appreciated sense of humor, good looks, and multitasking ability? Ask people out from online sites - at your age and level of casualness, I'd definitely say okcupid or plenty of fish. This takes longer (though with good multitasking not that much longer once you get going), and can be a bit more frustrating, but it's much more convenient, good for shier people obviously, and there are certain benefits in terms of being able to target more exactly what you want.

Online dating is not at all creepier or anything, and there's absolutely nothing to worry about along those terms. You should just pick whatever suits your strengths for meeting people.

11-03-2009, 09:45 PM	#1
Iggy5129 Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: San Diego Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 83	Don't Know how to Date... Ok, I'm 23 and I've had a few boyfriends (probably like 5) in my life, but I have only been in somewhat serious committed relationships. I've never just dated. Well, I just moved to the West Coast from the Midwest a year ago, and I haven't dated anyone really since my last boyfriend that I broke up with to come out here. I've had a few "flings" and I put that in quotes because they were really just hookups. When I first moved out here it seemed like guys paid attention to me all the time, now I feel like no one notices me. I had a huge crush on this guy I work with and we hooked up but nothing came of it because he's a jerk and has a girlfriend and ever since then I am just fed up with guys. That was back in April. Now I am really starting to feel lonely and would just like someone to hang out with. To be perfectly honest I feel like I am wasting my youth not getting out there and meeting people. I am not necessarily looking for something serious but I am not opposed to that either. Just whatever happens happens I guess. So what suggestions do you guys have for getting out there? I am a little wary of online dating, but kind of willing to try it. I don't really see any other way to meet guys, I am open to all suggestions. I am tired of being such a loner.

11-03-2009, 10:34 PM	#4
lady00 Online Super Moderator Join Date: May 2004 Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 7,869	I am personally not a fan of online dating and don't see myself trying it again. That said, it is a way to meet a lot of people and there are people who have found success using it. So it may be worth exploring. You might enjoy it. Also "online dating" is a bit of a misnomer because it's not like you'll actually be "dating" online, but rather meeting people online that you will date in real life so if you look at it that way it's not radically different from meeting someone for the first time in a bookstore or coffee shop or wherever and then striking up a conversation with them. __________________ "When I fall in love, I take my time." - Jason Mraz "Can't sing but I've got soul." - U2

11-03-2009, 10:26 PM	#2
IGlareOften Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Texas Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 246	Okay. There are so many people who advocate online dating. DON'T DO IT.

11-03-2009, 10:28 PM	#3
IGlareOften Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Texas Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 246	OOPS. For one....you're too young to go that route. Do you have any sort of a hobbies or interests that could help you meet people? I know there are these organizations who organize outings for singles in your area. It's not meant for dating or whatever...but it obviously turns into that. I'd say check on that. They go like bowling, rock climbing...or rent out a boat and take people sailing or have a big party. It's pretty chill. You meet lots of people your age...and it's fairly stress free. That's all I have so far.

11-03-2009, 11:41 PM	#5
mysticdaisy Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 221	The dating part is the same no matter how you meet, yes. As for meeting people, what skillset do you think you have or could develop more easily? A) Talking to strangers easily, thinking on your feet, charisma, strong body language transmission and reading, and building a tolerance of rejection? Ask people out in coffee shops, etc. It's much faster and you get a wider variety of dates, but it requires thinking out side of the box and is harsher. B) Good writing skills (grammar and imagery), planning skills, a broadly appreciated sense of humor, good looks, and multitasking ability? Ask people out from online sites - at your age and level of casualness, I'd definitely say okcupid or plenty of fish. This takes longer (though with good multitasking not that much longer once you get going), and can be a bit more frustrating, but it's much more convenient, good for shier people obviously, and there are certain benefits in terms of being able to target more exactly what you want. Online dating is not at all creepier or anything, and there's absolutely nothing to worry about along those terms. You should just pick whatever suits your strengths for meeting people.