Mother problems

SamiJayne · 03-08-2010, 11:09 AM

After all the problems with my mum, the alcohol, the emotional and physical abuse. The selfishness 24/7. I wanted to give her another chance. Mostly for Ben. (my 4 month old son) I didn't want him to grow up, asking about his grandma, and either me saying she was dead, or that we dont talk to her.

I wanted him to have a chance to know her, but also protect him from her evilness. So I added her on facebook, she says why... And I said I asked myself the same question. She also said she didn't go to my daughters funeral because she had a chest infection, which is a lie as she had told my partners mum weeks before the funeral that she wasn't going to attend. So either she knew she was going to have a chest infection 2 weeks later... or like I said it was a lie.

So I ignored the lie. And she rang and talked to me. She talked and talked about herself. Didn't ask about my son once. Didn't ask about my new house we just bought, didn't ask how my partner was... Or how I was after loosing my daughter. It was ALL about her.

Then I saw today she deleted me of her facebook... mature... and I tried ringing her, she didnt answer. So I sent her a msg, and she said that she finds it all too much as ben already has two Nanas ( My son has my partners mum as a granny, and my ex partners mum as a nana. As my ex partners mum Tina looked after me since I was 16, gave me a chance in life, got me a job, an education, and was always there when my mum wasnt. And was there for my daughters death, and during my suicidal times etc)

She also sent another friend request. But I dont want the lies, the drama, the childishness (is that a word?) that she loves. But is that fair on Ben? (my son) Why is she so jealous, why cant Ben have more than 2 nanas. It means he is going to grow up LOVED. I just don't understand her anymore.

I want to send her a msg saying she had her chance. And she's blown it. I dont want negative people in my sons life. I want him to have a shot in life, I want people around him who love him. Not people who are looking for the next fashion accessory. =/ Which she is. My mum has 8 grandchildren (including sophie and Ben) And she only gives a damn about one. She refuses to see the rest.

Butterfly~Wrists · 03-08-2010, 12:01 PM

First impresions always stick with us. You got the impression after reaching out, that she was going to continue her games, then its likely she will. Ben will be loved with or without your mother. So long as he has a stable home, happy family and people to love and cherish him it doesn't matter if none of his "reletives" are related to him. As many say, friends are the family you choose for yourself. You cut your mum of once before, and for a good reason. I believe it is best to let sleeping dogs lie in this case, she doesn't deserve to be a nana.

03-08-2010, 11:09 AM	#1
SamiJayne Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 667	Mother problems After all the problems with my mum, the alcohol, the emotional and physical abuse. The selfishness 24/7. I wanted to give her another chance. Mostly for Ben. (my 4 month old son) I didn't want him to grow up, asking about his grandma, and either me saying she was dead, or that we dont talk to her. I wanted him to have a chance to know her, but also protect him from her evilness. So I added her on facebook, she says why... And I said I asked myself the same question. She also said she didn't go to my daughters funeral because she had a chest infection, which is a lie as she had told my partners mum weeks before the funeral that she wasn't going to attend. So either she knew she was going to have a chest infection 2 weeks later... or like I said it was a lie. So I ignored the lie. And she rang and talked to me. She talked and talked about herself. Didn't ask about my son once. Didn't ask about my new house we just bought, didn't ask how my partner was... Or how I was after loosing my daughter. It was ALL about her. Then I saw today she deleted me of her facebook... mature... and I tried ringing her, she didnt answer. So I sent her a msg, and she said that she finds it all too much as ben already has two Nanas ( My son has my partners mum as a granny, and my ex partners mum as a nana. As my ex partners mum Tina looked after me since I was 16, gave me a chance in life, got me a job, an education, and was always there when my mum wasnt. And was there for my daughters death, and during my suicidal times etc) She also sent another friend request. But I dont want the lies, the drama, the childishness (is that a word?) that she loves. But is that fair on Ben? (my son) Why is she so jealous, why cant Ben have more than 2 nanas. It means he is going to grow up LOVED. I just don't understand her anymore. I want to send her a msg saying she had her chance. And she's blown it. I dont want negative people in my sons life. I want him to have a shot in life, I want people around him who love him. Not people who are looking for the next fashion accessory. =/ Which she is. My mum has 8 grandchildren (including sophie and Ben) And she only gives a damn about one. She refuses to see the rest.

03-08-2010, 12:01 PM	#2
Butterfly~Wrists Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 1,903	First impresions always stick with us. You got the impression after reaching out, that she was going to continue her games, then its likely she will. Ben will be loved with or without your mother. So long as he has a stable home, happy family and people to love and cherish him it doesn't matter if none of his "reletives" are related to him. As many say, friends are the family you choose for yourself. You cut your mum of once before, and for a good reason. I believe it is best to let sleeping dogs lie in this case, she doesn't deserve to be a nana.