am i right to feel guilty?

[Southern]

Originally Posted by thebluest

Having preference of any race other than your own may be problematic is all I'm saying - it's not definitely a problem in all cases, and not in all cases is it completely appropriate. Disliking women from your own race means that you dislike a whole combination of things that you yourself may possess - that can either be a big problem, or it can be fine, depending on a lot of things: whether you find yourself attractive, whether you think women from your own race are also attracted to you, whether women from your race just don't have a particular characteristic that other women have etc. The answers to these questions affect everyone's understanding of the OP's views.

I think you're making this a much deeper issue than it is. He's not particularly attracted to women of his own race. That hardly constitutes a crapload of soul searching or climbing up on our good friend Freud's sofa. He knows what turns him on, and he knows what turns him off when it comes to women. I just don't see it as being anything more than that. He asked if he should feel guilty for this. Should he? No, I don't think so.

[thebluest]

Originally Posted by Southern

I think you're making this a much deeper issue than it is. He's not particularly attracted to women of his own race. That hardly constitutes a crapload of soul searching or climbing up on our good friend Freud's sofa. He knows what turns him on, and he knows what turns him off when it comes to women. I just don't see it as being anything more than that. He asked if he should feel guilty for this. Should he? No, I don't think so.

He asked if he should feel guilty for this. My answer was maybe. He obviously feels guilty for a reason. Instead of hopping on his bandwagon and reassuring him that it's all normal, it's all alright, I'm trying to help him figure out if he has legitimate reasons for feeling guilty instead of providing what's easier: a simple yes or no answer. I'm not apologising for adding depth to a discussion.

[CmplxDame08]

Originally Posted by thebluest

He asked if he should feel guilty for this. My answer was maybe. He obviously feels guilty for a reason. Instead of hopping on his bandwagon and reassuring him that it's all normal, it's all alright, I'm trying to help him figure out if he has legitimate reasons for feeling guilty instead of providing what's easier: a simple yes or no answer. I'm not apologising for adding depth to a discussion.

I completely agree with you.

[Southern]

Originally Posted by thebluest

He asked if he should feel guilty for this. My answer was maybe. He obviously feels guilty for a reason. Instead of hopping on his bandwagon and reassuring him that it's all normal, it's all alright, I'm trying to help him figure out if he has legitimate reasons for feeling guilty instead of providing what's easier: a simple yes or no answer. I'm not apologising for adding depth to a discussion.

lol I didn't ask you to apologize. I'll agree to disagree. Don't take it personally.

[thebluest]

Originally Posted by Southern

lol I didn't ask you to apologize. I'll agree to disagree. Don't take it personally.

Of course. I'll agree to disagree too.

sanadee, maybe this spread of yes, no's and maybe's provides you with more of an answer than you were looking for. Maybe we're guilty of trying to be too helpful. Hopefully you can make some sense for yourself.

[trezeralietas]

I personally think you have nothing to feel guilty about.

And also, race is NOT a collection of features like what people eat, believe, practice, etc. All of that stuff falls under culture. NOT race. Race is a social construct, but it's really more of a way of organizing the world and making distinctions between people--it is as arbitrary as hair color because ultimately, we're all people. And that's what matters. Go to another area in the world and they may not classify races or people in the same way.

[sanadee]

Originally Posted by thebluest

He asked if he should feel guilty for this. My answer was maybe. He obviously feels guilty for a reason. Instead of hopping on his bandwagon and reassuring him that it's all normal, it's all alright, I'm trying to help him figure out if he has legitimate reasons for feeling guilty instead of providing what's easier: a simple yes or no answer. I'm not apologising for adding depth to a discussion.

Well i feel guilty since the women are like me; they look like me and hold the same origins, but i don't find them, by and large, attractive. i kind of think it makes me look bad for feeling so, as if I am betraying my race, so to speak. But then again, liking women from other races is something i cannot really help. it's generally what gets me going, and i can't get enough of it.

[Hikapo]

Hey sanadee, I know how you feel. I look at Asian girls and I like them, but I don't feel any spark and excitement I get from liking Caucasian and Latinas. It is weird. At one point, I felt that I had something against my own race, but what I realized was I was not attracted to them as much as I want to.

Don't feel guilty about it. You are fine.