Person I like smokes weed, making me anxious - Page 9

Southern · 11-08-2009, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revolution

Honestly...maybe you shouldn't try to change him. maybe you should just try to take him as is, and if oyu can't accept that...then perhaps you should find someone else.

I wouldn't change for a girl, ever. it's just not in me.

Yes exactly. That's why I always stick to the rule I gave the OP--Ask yourself, "If he never changes, will I be okay with that?" and if not, then I need to find someone else.

I'm sorry it didn't work out, hun.

He'll be alright, and so will you. I promise.

AnxiousThought · 11-08-2009, 12:17 AM

After all of your input, though, I think I might give him just a little longer, maybe a month AT MOST to see if the truth all comes out, or give time for things to become clear. It may seem like I'm neglecting all your advice, but I just can't help to not give this guy a chance and toss him back in after everyone else in his life has done the same thing to him. And that wasn't even because he smoked. I really do appreciate all the posts, though, and there were certainly a lot. It gives me a better picture of the issue. I'll probably make a post or message some of you contributors sometime down the line. Your posts weren't made in vain. :P It may be just blind hope, but maybe, if he realizes he doesn't need to smoke to get rid of his problems one day, and considering things are going well, I might consider a relationship with him again. But I'll follow one rule you guys made pretty clear here, JUST FRIENDS.

Cminor7th · 11-08-2009, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Southern

lol just because it turns out that he's an overall shady character and not good to be around doesn't mean what you said was right. You were basing it ALL on the fact that he smokes, when really, that's just a tiny aspect of a much bigger issue.

That's all the evidence I needed, and the rest of the story did not surprise me in the least. Shady practices and drug users are no strangers to each other.

Southern · 11-08-2009, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnxiousThought

After all of your input, though, I think I might give him just a little longer, maybe a month AT MOST to see if the truth all comes out, or give time for things to become clear. It may seem like I'm neglecting all your advice, but I just can't help to not give this guy a chance and toss him back in after everyone else in his life has done the same thing to him. And that wasn't even because he smoked. I really do appreciate all the posts, though, and there were certainly a lot. It gives me a better picture of the issue. I'll probably make a post or message some of you contributors sometime down the line. Your posts weren't made in vain. :P

Oh it's your decision, and no one here will be upset if you take their advice or not. I think that with this, you just have to find out for yourself. If you don't, you'll always be thinking "what if" about that guy. And you don't want to spend your life wondering how it might be different if you had gotten to find out things for yourself. I totally understand that. Be careful and good luck!

xx

Nidania · 11-08-2009, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnxiousThought

After all of your input, though, I think I might give him just a little longer, maybe a month AT MOST to see if the truth all comes out, or give time for things to become clear. It may seem like I'm neglecting all your advice, but I just can't help to not give this guy a chance and toss him back in after everyone else in his life has done the same thing to him. And that wasn't even because he smoked. I really do appreciate all the posts, though, and there were certainly a lot. It gives me a better picture of the issue. I'll probably make a post or message some of you contributors sometime down the line. Your posts weren't made in vain. :P

It is in the end your decision to make.

Please just be very careful, okay?

You can feel free to PM me any time if you feel comfortable.

Southern · 11-08-2009, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cminor7th

That's all the evidence I needed, and the rest of the story did not surprise me in the least. Shady practices and drug users are no strangers to each other.

lol ok. Whatever you say dude.

AnxiousThought · 11-08-2009, 12:20 AM

Thank you guys again, a lot. And I will be very careful.

Thanks again!

RideOn · 11-08-2009, 12:23 AM

Best of luck to you.

waveseer · 11-08-2009, 12:28 AM

There is one thing that bugs me about people who anesthetize themselves regardless of the substance they use. It makes it easier for them to be indifferent about their primary relationship. Try letting go of someone you love stone cold clean and sober when you feel like pieces of your heart are being torn out by hand and contrast that to the ex who can knock back or burn up a few and feel oh so mellow about it all. Not that I would want to trade places, but I think you get my point.

Lecturer · 11-08-2009, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cminor7th

That's all the evidence I needed, and the rest of the story did not surprise me in the least. Shady practices and drug users are no strangers to each other.

Granted, I haven't read every post in this thread.. but I think you might be surprised on just how many people smoke up on occasion. Your doctor/lawyer/professor very well may smoke from time to time - and I have a hard time believing they are all "shady" people.

Heh, look at me... I've smoked twice in my life, and I sound like a friggin pot advocate hippy. Now where'd I put that poncho.

11-08-2009, 12:23 AM	#88
RideOn Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: PA Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 87	Best of luck to you. __________________ I'm Triple S :p ANYONE that can't see that is literally blind

11-08-2009, 12:28 AM	#89
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,065	There is one thing that bugs me about people who anesthetize themselves regardless of the substance they use. It makes it easier for them to be indifferent about their primary relationship. Try letting go of someone you love stone cold clean and sober when you feel like pieces of your heart are being torn out by hand and contrast that to the ex who can knock back or burn up a few and feel oh so mellow about it all. Not that I would want to trade places, but I think you get my point. __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

11-08-2009, 12:17 AM	#82
AnxiousThought Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 30	After all of your input, though, I think I might give him just a little longer, maybe a month AT MOST to see if the truth all comes out, or give time for things to become clear. It may seem like I'm neglecting all your advice, but I just can't help to not give this guy a chance and toss him back in after everyone else in his life has done the same thing to him. And that wasn't even because he smoked. I really do appreciate all the posts, though, and there were certainly a lot. It gives me a better picture of the issue. I'll probably make a post or message some of you contributors sometime down the line. Your posts weren't made in vain. :P It may be just blind hope, but maybe, if he realizes he doesn't need to smoke to get rid of his problems one day, and considering things are going well, I might consider a relationship with him again. But I'll follow one rule you guys made pretty clear here, JUST FRIENDS.

11-08-2009, 12:20 AM	#87
AnxiousThought Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 30	Thank you guys again, a lot. And I will be very careful. Thanks again!