Is it wrong to this way - My ideal woman - Page 2

HealingHandsWarmHeart · 11-07-2009, 10:40 AM

you have an "i'm the man!" mentality .... that worked in the middle ages when men were still able to control woman with muscle... but it doesn't take much muscle to earn a living these days- takes a brain...

yes it is wrong to think this way- woman are human beings - and why on earth you would have this "i'm the man" mentality still is beyond me.

Maybe you have low confidence.

Nidania · 11-07-2009, 10:40 AM

If you can find a woman who wants to just do whatever you tell her to do and not have opinions of her own that may differ from your own and not voice any disagreement... then go for it.

But I have to tell you. You will be hard pressed to find anyone like that. I suspect there are a few out there, somewhere, but every woman I have ever met wants to be an equal to their partner, and have her opinions and goals as valued as her partner's.

<salutes> Good luck, dude.

thebluest · 11-07-2009, 10:41 AM

^ Amen to that. Good like finding a woman who lists as her likes: someone who I can cook for, follow instructions from, and not share my mind with.

HealingHandsWarmHeart · 11-07-2009, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billya

But when I get married, I do want a wife who has these traits.

good luck with that... lmao!!

agent · 11-07-2009, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thebluest

^ Amen to that. Good like finding a woman who lists as her likes: someone who I can cook for, follow instructions from, and not share my mind with.

Yeah, that was what I was thinking.

Sounds like he wants someone who's been raised to defer. So best off looking at fundamental Xtian women or those who've been abused.

Skillpadde · 11-07-2009, 10:45 AM

You say you don't have an extensive list, but the traits you do demand in your future wife are pretty damn extreme.

The impression I'm getting here is that you're wanting your future wife to look like Marilyn Monroe, spend her time in the kitchen, (or with a cookbook if she's not competent enough) not open her mouth unless its to laugh at your permanently hilarious jokes, not bat an eye at your ogling of other women, and leap into her basket under the bed until you clap your hands and demand breakfast at 9am.

I don't mean to be harsh but you cannot claim to be respectful to women whilst playing host to such sexist expectations of then. That is NOT respect. You're a century or two outdated with these views, and at the end of the day, you posted here asking if you should re-evaluate them, and the replies you are getting, and will get will give a resounding yes to that question.

EQD · 11-07-2009, 10:45 AM

of course you dont want a woman who is being an idiot and flirting with other guys. who in the hell wants any partner who does that?!

but what i'm noticing is that you may not be secure in your masculinity or in yourself and thats why you feel the need to find a partner that makes you feel validated.
Anyone who doesnt automatically annoys you and you dont like them.

example would be the kind that doesnt laugh at all of your jokes.

also to a certain extent, you looking at other women--while yes its only looking--can get out of hand.
As long as what YOU are doing is something you wouldnt mind your own girlfriend doing, then you wouldnt be a hypocrite.

15 Storeys High · 11-07-2009, 10:46 AM

If you feel the need to ask if your way of thinking is "wrong" doesn't that already give your answer?

HealingHandsWarmHeart · 11-07-2009, 10:48 AM

stepfords wife comes to mind....

thebluest · 11-07-2009, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HealingHandsWarmHeart

stepfords wife comes to mind....

Yeah, looks like his shopping list is likely to be fulfilled only in this way.

billya - Maybe we're being a bit harsh on you but I hope you can see that the reactions here show some concern at your demeaning checklist. How about you consider why you have narrowed it down to these key characteristics?

11-07-2009, 10:40 AM	#11
HealingHandsWarmHeart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: New Jersey Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 2,601	you have an "i'm the man!" mentality .... that worked in the middle ages when men were still able to control woman with muscle... but it doesn't take much muscle to earn a living these days- takes a brain... yes it is wrong to think this way- woman are human beings - and why on earth you would have this "i'm the man" mentality still is beyond me. Maybe you have low confidence. __________________ “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” ~ Ghandi

11-07-2009, 10:41 AM	#13
thebluest Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 189	^ Amen to that. Good like finding a woman who lists as her likes: someone who I can cook for, follow instructions from, and not share my mind with. __________________ "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

11-07-2009, 10:45 AM	#17
EQD Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 5,972	of course you dont want a woman who is being an idiot and flirting with other guys. who in the hell wants any partner who does that?! but what i'm noticing is that you may not be secure in your masculinity or in yourself and thats why you feel the need to find a partner that makes you feel validated. Anyone who doesnt automatically annoys you and you dont like them. example would be the kind that doesnt laugh at all of your jokes. also to a certain extent, you looking at other women--while yes its only looking--can get out of hand. As long as what YOU are doing is something you wouldnt mind your own girlfriend doing, then you wouldnt be a hypocrite. __________________ http://sumitsays.com/2009/05/29/in-your-headlights/

11-07-2009, 10:46 AM	#18
15 Storeys High Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 1,291	If you feel the need to ask if your way of thinking is "wrong" doesn't that already give your answer? __________________ You cannot do a kindness too soon for you'll never know how soon it will be too late. - Emerson

11-07-2009, 10:48 AM	#19
HealingHandsWarmHeart Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: New Jersey Gender: Female Age: 37 Posts: 2,601	stepfords wife comes to mind.... __________________ “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” ~ Ghandi

11-07-2009, 10:40 AM	#12
Nidania Offline Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Gender: Female Age: 35 Posts: 347	If you can find a woman who wants to just do whatever you tell her to do and not have opinions of her own that may differ from your own and not voice any disagreement... then go for it. But I have to tell you. You will be hard pressed to find anyone like that. I suspect there are a few out there, somewhere, but every woman I have ever met wants to be an equal to their partner, and have her opinions and goals as valued as her partner's. <salutes> Good luck, dude.

11-07-2009, 10:45 AM	#16
Skillpadde Online Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Scotland Gender: Female Posts: 86	You say you don't have an extensive list, but the traits you do demand in your future wife are pretty damn extreme. The impression I'm getting here is that you're wanting your future wife to look like Marilyn Monroe, spend her time in the kitchen, (or with a cookbook if she's not competent enough) not open her mouth unless its to laugh at your permanently hilarious jokes, not bat an eye at your ogling of other women, and leap into her basket under the bed until you clap your hands and demand breakfast at 9am. I don't mean to be harsh but you cannot claim to be respectful to women whilst playing host to such sexist expectations of then. That is NOT respect. You're a century or two outdated with these views, and at the end of the day, you posted here asking if you should re-evaluate them, and the replies you are getting, and will get will give a resounding yes to that question.