Tumbling Away from the Falling Bridge

EQD · 11-04-2009, 09:49 AM

Just a short story about my personal experience with an emotional abuser.

It started out amazingly. After sex it went down hill. His insecurities got to him and he became controlling. He always wanted me so close.. then he wanted my friends gone... because he felt threatened by them.
He insisted alot was my fault. He downgraded me and called me names.

I remember people confronting me and asking why i put up with it.
Truth was i didnt know why they were making such a big deal out of it. It wasnt 'that' bad.

Before i broke up with him he shoved me once. Not too hard but enough to push me away. I'll always remember that as a turning point. We broke up several times before i finally decided to leave it all for good.
He seemed to have went downhill. But i was tired of turning back.
Tired of being yelled at. Tired of watching him abuse and hurt and kill animals.

To this day he's apparently had a few terrible relationships. And sadly is now a father. He's also been arrested for violating a protective order.

I heard last night that he graduated to actually beating women, hence the protective order.

A long time ago.. when i broke up with him in the summer before my senior year i remember thinking that there was a chance this breakup would make him realize he shouldnt abuse. That what he was doing was wrong and would hurt him too when the women left. Women like me, his 'first love.'

But really, the other more likely outcome is that they just get worse.
Most times nothing can 'fix' whatever is broken in them.

To the women out there who can identify with this story..

Don't let it fall on you. There's nothing you can do to stop it. And its okay to bail so you can save yourself.

The chances of an abuser changing for the better is such small and insignificant a number, but its virtually guaranteed to get worse.

whes · 11-04-2009, 10:38 AM

+1 rep. Couldn't do it for real.

Thank you so much for sharing. And it's so true that while you're in it it doesn't feel that bad. Weird, in that way, because I never put up with abuse from anyone else but him it was fine.

it's like the more abuse you get the deeper you feel your love.

11-04-2009, 09:49 AM	#1
EQD Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 5,972	Tumbling Away from the Falling Bridge Just a short story about my personal experience with an emotional abuser. It started out amazingly. After sex it went down hill. His insecurities got to him and he became controlling. He always wanted me so close.. then he wanted my friends gone... because he felt threatened by them. He insisted alot was my fault. He downgraded me and called me names. I remember people confronting me and asking why i put up with it. Truth was i didnt know why they were making such a big deal out of it. It wasnt 'that' bad. Before i broke up with him he shoved me once. Not too hard but enough to push me away. I'll always remember that as a turning point. We broke up several times before i finally decided to leave it all for good. He seemed to have went downhill. But i was tired of turning back. Tired of being yelled at. Tired of watching him abuse and hurt and kill animals. To this day he's apparently had a few terrible relationships. And sadly is now a father. He's also been arrested for violating a protective order. I heard last night that he graduated to actually beating women, hence the protective order. A long time ago.. when i broke up with him in the summer before my senior year i remember thinking that there was a chance this breakup would make him realize he shouldnt abuse. That what he was doing was wrong and would hurt him too when the women left. Women like me, his 'first love.' But really, the other more likely outcome is that they just get worse. Most times nothing can 'fix' whatever is broken in them. To the women out there who can identify with this story.. Don't let it fall on you. There's nothing you can do to stop it. And its okay to bail so you can save yourself. The chances of an abuser changing for the better is such small and insignificant a number, but its virtually guaranteed to get worse. __________________ http://sumitsays.com/2009/05/29/in-your-headlights/

11-04-2009, 10:38 AM	#2
whes Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Wild Rose Country Gender: Female Posts: 660	+1 rep. Couldn't do it for real. Thank you so much for sharing. And it's so true that while you're in it it doesn't feel that bad. Weird, in that way, because I never put up with abuse from anyone else but him it was fine. it's like the more abuse you get the deeper you feel your love. __________________ Sometimes freedom makes it hard to live. When it takes things from you that you don't want to give. -- Dean Brody --