What would you do if.....

yeawutever · 09-23-2009, 11:36 AM

You are fully aware your SO's parents (one or both parents) whether during your relationship or marriage were to totally dislike you and/or think you're not good enough and that you don't care about them. Or you had a horrible argument with one of both parents to the point you had to work to prove them wrong....

I never thought about it till now. No I never had a problem with my boyfriend's parents. Then again I don't know what they think of me. I was only introduce to them on 2 or 3 occassions. They aren't talkers, not that I know of but they did smiled at me when I was greeted.

I don't know what I would do in that case. My inicial reaction is to be like ''You kno what, screw this, I'm not dealing with this crap, later'' and find a man that I won't have this problem. Soon or later this always will bring nothing but trouble... Then again, never been in that position.

I voted that I don't really know. I hope I never have to be in that position...

Catdancer · 09-23-2009, 11:42 AM

I had MAJOR issues with my bf's parents, actually his whole family. They hated me and vice versa. That was 2 years ago. Time and patience worked and we are all pretty close now. I am especially close to his sister. It's true that when you marry someone, you marry their family too. It was very difficult at times for all of us, but it got progressively better over time.

dragon lady · 09-23-2009, 11:44 AM

From what I understand, in-laws or bf's/gf's parents are a pain in the ass for most people. It would only become a problem for me if he was living with them. I don't usually date guys who are living at home, so it's no big deal. I would always be polite, but if they hated me, too bad.

yeawutever · 09-23-2009, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catdancer

I had MAJOR issues with my bf's parents, actually his whole family. They hated me and vice versa. That was 2 years ago. Time and patience worked and we are all pretty close now. I am especially close to his sister. It's true that when you marry someone, you marry their family too. It was very difficult at times for all of us, but it got progressively better over time.

Damn that would suck big time. Anyways good to hear it worked out ok. Then again, there will always be one who dislikes you still but is playing it cool for your SO's sake.

yeawutever · 09-23-2009, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragon lady

but if they hated me, too bad.

This is what happened to my boyfriend esp. with my mother who used stated how she hated him totally. That was shocking, those words were harsh. That was back then, 2 years old. He once told me ''Put yourself in my shoes, how would you feel in my parents were like that to you'' which my answer was ''I don't know, I don't think I would last very long''. If it comes to the extreme of they or one parent being so disrespectful to the point of name calling (like when my mother argue once with b/f calling him stuff) I would be like... ''You know what, don't you call me those things, you're stupid too and tell your son it's over, I ain't no one's doormat'', bye'...

D_Lish · 09-23-2009, 12:02 PM

Never had that problem. I always got along with his parents and they liked me.
In fact and when we split, they all fell out with him and wouldnt go to his wedding when he got married again, lol

yeawutever · 09-23-2009, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D_Lish

Never had that problem. I always got along with his parents and they liked me.
In fact and when we split, they all fell out with him and wouldnt go to his wedding when he got married again, lol

Kooool, that's like 1/100 case. Good to hear you didn't had to deal with those hassles... You're lucky.... Hope I get lucky too....

dragon lady · 09-23-2009, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yeawutever

If it comes to the extreme of they or one parent being so disrespectful to the point of name calling (like when my mother argue once with b/f calling him stuff) I would be like... ''You know what, don't you call me those things, you're stupid too and tell your son it's over, I ain't no one's doormat'', bye'...

For me it would depend on how he handled it. If he just let it happen, then I would do what you said above. If he stood up for me and told the parents they were being incredibly rude, then I wouldn't end a good relationship over it.

Day_Walker · 09-23-2009, 02:00 PM

I would only need to have one conversation with my SO's parents and that would be to tell them that I do not care what they think about but I am not going to prove anything to them. As long as they fail to act like an adult then I will make no effort in communicating with them, as I have nothing to say with them.

I have no problem with people disliking me and they can have whatever other feelings about me they want but will make absolutely no effort to change their minds.

View Poll Results: Would you still stay through it or not, your reaction....
Yes I would fight for my relationship/marriage	8	47.06%
No I would quit, why too much hassles, too much trouble...	1	5.88%
I thnk it would depend, I might stay as well as leave	2	11.76%
I don't really know, never been in that position, I hope it doesn't happens...	6	35.29%
Voters: 17. You may not vote on this poll

09-23-2009, 11:36 AM	#1
yeawutever Online Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 6,062	What would you do if..... You are fully aware your SO's parents (one or both parents) whether during your relationship or marriage were to totally dislike you and/or think you're not good enough and that you don't care about them. Or you had a horrible argument with one of both parents to the point you had to work to prove them wrong.... I never thought about it till now. No I never had a problem with my boyfriend's parents. Then again I don't know what they think of me. I was only introduce to them on 2 or 3 occassions. They aren't talkers, not that I know of but they did smiled at me when I was greeted. I don't know what I would do in that case. My inicial reaction is to be like ''You kno what, screw this, I'm not dealing with this crap, later'' and find a man that I won't have this problem. Soon or later this always will bring nothing but trouble... Then again, never been in that position. I voted that I don't really know. I hope I never have to be in that position... __________________ Opened-minded to those in need of help. Not everything is black and white as it seems.... If you're gonna do something, think twice and make sure it's something worthy that you don't later on regret!!!!!!!!!!!

09-23-2009, 02:00 PM	#9
Day_Walker Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 5,712	I would only need to have one conversation with my SO's parents and that would be to tell them that I do not care what they think about but I am not going to prove anything to them. As long as they fail to act like an adult then I will make no effort in communicating with them, as I have nothing to say with them. I have no problem with people disliking me and they can have whatever other feelings about me they want but will make absolutely no effort to change their minds. __________________ "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

09-23-2009, 11:42 AM	#2
Catdancer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 4,212	I had MAJOR issues with my bf's parents, actually his whole family. They hated me and vice versa. That was 2 years ago. Time and patience worked and we are all pretty close now. I am especially close to his sister. It's true that when you marry someone, you marry their family too. It was very difficult at times for all of us, but it got progressively better over time.

09-23-2009, 11:44 AM	#3
dragon lady Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Gender: None Specified Posts: 3,586	From what I understand, in-laws or bf's/gf's parents are a pain in the ass for most people. It would only become a problem for me if he was living with them. I don't usually date guys who are living at home, so it's no big deal. I would always be polite, but if they hated me, too bad.

09-23-2009, 12:02 PM	#6
D_Lish Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: England UK Gender: Female Age: 34 Posts: 3,664	Never had that problem. I always got along with his parents and they liked me. In fact and when we split, they all fell out with him and wouldnt go to his wedding when he got married again, lol