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My boyfriend won't kiss me!


REDIRECT43

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Ok, this is bugging the crap outta me, but my boyfriend will not kiss me. We have amazing sex, and we both care for each other, though we've never said it. However, he just will not kiss me. He will move his head and kiss me neck passionatley, kisses me everywhere but my lips. When he's drunk, he will kiss me, and when he's drunk, he's amazing in bed. I don't get it? I've asked him once before why he doesn't kiss me and he said he just doesn't like to kiss, or that he's just eaten, or some other stupid excuse. He is very insecure, so I'm wondering if this is maybe another one of his insecurites seeing as he only kisses me when he's drunk. I'm also wondering if it's his way of distancing himself from me, feeling that kissing is too personal. He has never been close to anyone, and has had a very messed up life, and I think I'm the only one he's ever been close to. I would love input from guys who have hangups about kissing. PLEASE HELP!

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Does he have bad breath?

 

I have halitosis, and lemme tell you ... it sure changed how often I tried to kiss women. I used to love it, now I am very self-conscious about it. I've found the solution (tongue scraper, never knew about that!) but I have to use it 2-3 times a day, along with pre-rinse, mouthwash, and floss every day!

 

I'd ask him straight out. If you don't get an answer ask him if he's worried about his breath. If he is I can recommend:

 

Plax pre-rinse

Brush

Scrape tongue

Floss (I use one of those toothbrush-with-floss-on-the-end things)

Listerine

 

twice a day.

 

Otherwise, maybe you should play along and promise not to kiss him but get close. Touch his lips with your fingernails (not the tips, the actual top) by sliding gently accross the lips and otherwise just do whatever you can to stimulate him. When he does kiss you, make it obvious you love it.

 

You can always teach an old dog new tricks.

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I have in the past complimented him. I remember once asking why he wouldn't kiss me and he said, if I remember correctly, that he wasn't good at it. He then kissed me and I said "See, you can kiss!" But I think that was the last time we really kissed when he was sober, and this was in February. I want to chalk it up to insecurity but it makes me feel like he doesn't care about me. He tells me he does not want commitment, which is fine by me because I don't want it either at this point in my life, but I genuinely care about him, and I'm confident that he cares about me just from his actions. But by him saying he does not want commitment, I tend to tie the no kissing thing to this as his way of distancing himself from me. Gosh it sucks, I just want some tongue!

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Well because the standard for you guy's relationship has sort of been set, it may (I hope not) take a momenumental effort to get him to engage in a make-out session. Perhaps you could start small and tell him that even a quick peck is a small gesture that goes a long way with you. Take baby steps and see how that goes.

 

However, there was this one guy that was currrrrazy over me and he was always very affectionate and the works EXCEPT he did not like kissing. He told me this before that he wasn't a big fan of kissing. So maybe he's just one of thos guys. Good luck!

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Hmmm no, he doesn't have bad breath. He's actually a very good kisser, so I don't understand why he would have any hangups on kissing. I wonder sometimes if it's my breath! I chew gum all the time, really strong minty gum so I don't have bad breath. I don't think I do, but maybe my gum is not to his liking? LOL I don't think it's anything with bad breath. When I first met him we kissed all the time. The first time we hung out together we made out like crazy, my lips were black and blue. (No lie!) It was embarrasing to go out in public with bruised lips, but I'm dying for that passion we had on the first night. Not that there is any lacking, but that night was really really hot, haha. (Probably because we were both wasted) I think I should make him drink more lol.

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Redirect,

 

To be honest I don't know if this is a good sign. I was like your boyfriend, and if I wasn't in love with a person I wouldn't like to kiss them, but would sleep with them. I could be wrong but this could be the case with him.

 

Many men (without realizing it) have 3 cateogories when it comes to women they date.

1. Sexual chemistry, but are not connecting in other areas. Men usually won't fall in love with this women. At first the man may feel this way because sex is great, but when the passion dies, they usually get bored, and fall out of love.

2. Chemistry in every area except sexual chemistry. The women could be nice, sweet, cool, even physically attractive, but are missing that sexual spark. The man could fall in love with this person, but more times than not, they will love the person dearly, but not fall in love.

3. They have physical, sexual, emotional and intellectual chemistry. A man will go through a brick wall for a women like this, and would love kissing this women like this.

 

I really hope I am wrong, and I don't know the whole situation, but you may be the girl in the 1st category. Because a man (baring anything weird phobias) will always kiss a women he is love with.

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I was in a relationship with a guy...and the sexual chemistry was awesome. He kissed me all the time......and he LOVED it. I think kissing CAN be a barometer of ones feelings. I personally can NOT kiss someone I don't feel anything for. Hug, yes..but NOT kiss.

Remember the move Pretty Woman? She didn't "kiss on the mouth"....lol

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Well I don't know...the guy that didn't like to kiss, he was so enamored with me. He had a crush (still does) for 5 or 6 years now. We're pretty good friends and so we talk from time to time. He never bites his tongue when he talks about how he wish I'd dump by boyfriend and date him (jokingly, but probably not so jokingly He wants to be with me, fall in love, and live happily ever after. And this, coming from a man who doesn't like to kiss. I'm not saying the guy you're dating is exactly like this, but it can happen. HTH

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  • 9 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Your boyfriend is just insecure. From what you've said, I'm 99% sure that's all it is.

 

You can still have a great relationship though. Try talking to him about it. Don't ask him if he's insecure about it or anything like that because he probably won't like to admit it, but just reassure him that you love it when he kisses you, and tell him what an amazing kisser he really is. Also, try initiating kisses yourself; he may not be confident enough to do it himself. But the great thing is that if you keep doing this he will become eventually confident enough to kiss you though.

 

I've been going out with a girl for about a month, and I've still not kissed her! I love her, I really do, but I'm just quite shy about things like that. The fact that you say your boyfriend hasn't been shown much love in his life makes me think that he's the same. I'm going to kiss her on Valentines Day though (I know, romantic hey!) and its gonna take a lot of courage plucking for me to do it, even though I know she likes me. Some people are just like this, (I would say it's to do with the way they're brought up) it doesn't mean he doesn't love you though.

 

Try and take the lead yourself more, and when he gets used to it I'm sure you'll see him becoming much more confident, so that he'll start to take the lead. I hope everything works out for you honey.

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  • 2 years later...

Dear friend, there are lots of reasons why a person won't kiss. In my case, my sweetheart has some Asperger's characteristics and it is not uncommon for people with this syndrome to issues with the face (gaze, ears, kissing, etc.). We talk about it in quiet moments and I have learned not to take it personally but to really listen to him. It may be that your sweetheart had a childhood trauma that involved his mouth: He may not even remember what it was. Has he had extensive dental work? This can be a trauma, or make him feel insecure about his mouth. There are lots of possible reasons. The main thing is to keep a loving and compassionate heart and keep him involved in a discussion about it.

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  • 5 months later...
  • 5 months later...

Been with my patner nearly two years . .we get on well,but lacking in the affection side of things. The thing is he will not kiss me for longer than a peck. He loves n does everything for me (far as im aware) but just wont kiss me,says he just dont think bout it. But this hurts me. Why wont the man i love kiss me with some passion xxxxx

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It could be your kissing styles are different and he isn't good at communicating about it.

 

I personally am not very fond of french-kissing. The way some guys try to kiss me it feels like they're raping me with their tongue. I will very tentatively respond back in those instances, but I would rather just passionate lip-kissing. Another turn-off for me is massive slobber. But some people really get into the tongue action, and some don't mind wiping their mouth after a kiss.

 

Kissing is a very intimate activity, for sure. I've had guys tell me they realized they didn't have feelings for a person when they didn't want to kiss them at all.

 

One other thought... perhaps he likes to hear you make noise or he likes to talk during sex, and it's harder to do that while kissing? Some people are very vocal -- a guy whispering in my ear while we make love is a turn-on for me, and because of dating guys who enjoyed hearing how much I enjoyed things I'm a pretty vocal person myself.

 

Or, as others said, it could just be a self-confidence issue. Personally, though, I don't do drunk sex. Too easy to make bad decisions like "Oh well, who cares if we don't have condoms"....

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  • 3 months later...
Ok, this is bugging the crap outta me, but my boyfriend will not kiss me. We have amazing sex, and we both care for each other, though we've never said it. However, he just will not kiss me. He will move his head and kiss me neck passionatley, kisses me everywhere but my lips. When he's drunk, he will kiss me, and when he's drunk, he's amazing in bed. I don't get it? I've asked him once before why he doesn't kiss me and he said he just doesn't like to kiss, or that he's just eaten, or some other stupid excuse. He is very insecure, so I'm wondering if this is maybe another one of his insecurites seeing as he only kisses me when he's drunk. I'm also wondering if it's his way of distancing himself from me, feeling that kissing is too personal. He has never been close to anyone, and has had a very messed up life, and I think I'm the only one he's ever been close to. I would love input from guys who have hangups about kissing. PLEASE HELP![/ Sometimes you dont even kmow your in love until you have that first passionate kiss i makes everything in your day disapear for that one moment and feel like your the only person in his life the warmth in your body says a million things and one of them shoots straight to the heart the rest is nothn but pssion in its self. So if your missing out on kissing you are missing out on some serious passion and feelings you may have not explored. Talk to him or jus catch him off guard at that right time and kiss him so soft until he forgets why he dont want to kiss.
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