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Would you date somebody who worked as a janitor/custodian/cleaner?


Wonderstruck

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yes I would. There are people who work custodial at companies for years and they have stable jobs and make good money. Also, not everyone who is a custodian mops floors. I know a couple people where grounds maintenance is part of their duties or actual do a lot of electrical repair, too. i know one guy who does it because he is off early to be with his kids after they get home from school and works at the school, too. I rather be with someone who is a hard worker than someone someone who is waiting to find himself. I know someone who is a custodian and loves the job because work stays at work and when he is off he is writing a book.

 

If the perfect guy for me happened to have a custodial job - that would be fine. means he could find a job wnywhere if we transferred with my job

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As long as we were intellectually similar, sure!

 

I don't really have an issue with how much someone makes. I'm striving to support myself. Any money my partner makes is a bonus and I don't need him to make a lot. I've dated rich men as well as poor ones. Don't care.

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This is just a general question that I'm asking out of curiosity - I'd love to hear everyone's opinions on this.

 

Would you get into a long-term, serious relationship with somebody who worked as a janitor/custodian for a living?

 

If you wouldn't - why not?

 

That really depends on your social/financial status in life, if you are holding some sort of position which requires any type of degree like a police officer, school teacher, accountant, etc. you might want to set your sights higher. However if you aren't making any real money or making less then your significant other, you are a student or are working as a cashier, inventory, delivery, etc. then beggars can't be choosers.

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If the person's hot then why wouldn't you wanna date them. I can imagine a hot janitor. Look at Matt Damon from the movie Good Will Hunting, wasn't he a janitor? I don't think any woman would've turned him down and he was very smart too. So yeah you fall in love with the person, not the job.

 

Thinking about the other side though, if you have twins, one is a janitor, the other is a doctor, you may be more attracted to the doctor twin. So if you wanna be on the more attractive side, you may wanna pick an attractive job.

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Since you started this thread, I'm curious as to what your opinion is.

 

When I was finished with my military tour, in 1987, I moved to an area where a big building boom was going on, Manchester NH. The unemployment rate was 3% - anyone wanting a job, could get one. I worked construction that year, and made alot of money, until the winter lay offs, where I worked in a factory until I could go back to construction. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and during that year I became engaged to the girl I was dating out there. I applied at a local school district as a custodian, just so I had year round work. Figured it was a stop gap - they hired me because I was young (early 20s) and strong, and most of the custodial staff were mid 50's and above.

 

To sum this up, I was offered a head custodian job in NY State, and moved here and took over an elementary school, that was in 1991. Since starting here, I have earned my degree in child social work, started a youth program in the community that teaches children (mostly pre teens) life skills using community service projects as the means to that end. I have the complete trust of parents, teaching staff, administrators, and the people who work under me. After 23 years in this same position, I make a very good salary, have a nice retirement with the state, I have job security, I own a nice home, a large piece of property, can afford new vehicles, and I have alot of pride in my position there, and in the community.

 

The moral of the story, somebody who doesn't know me, who might be judgmental, might say, "he's only a janitor" - I say that because I have heard it said before, and I chuckle. Reminds me of when I worked construction, building car dealerships, and the owner of the dealerships became angry with his sales people because a man dressed like a farmer right out of the fields, showed up wanting to look at a lincoln continental. The salesperson laughed and told him he would show him a car that was probably more in his price range. The man became angry, and left...went to a competitor and bought a car, cash. He was a wealthy man....needless to say, the sales people were ordered to greet anyone driving into the dealerships before they even got out of the car. So when any of us showed up at the job sites (which were car dealerships) the sales people would greet us before we could get out of the vehicles. Sometimes we'd keep driving and they'd chase us.

 

Old saying, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

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Wow, I'm so heartened by the replies in here! Thank you, everyone!

 

I noticed you used the word workeD not work as or working as so is he/she currently working as a janitor?

 

Oops, I KNEW I phrased that awkwardly - I meant "currently working as a janitor", not "worked as a janitor in the past".

 

That really depends on your social/financial status in life, if you are holding some sort of position which requires any type of degree like a police officer, school teacher, accountant, etc. you might want to set your sights higher. However if you aren't making any real money or making less then your significant other, you are a student or are working as a cashier, inventory, delivery, etc. then beggars can't be choosers.

 

See, this response is really interesting to me, and an excellent example of why I asked this question in the first place. I'm fascinated by how much somebody's occupation, financial status or social "class" affects someone's romantic attraction or desire to be with them.

 

I'm fascinated with this on a societal level, not a personal level - I'm not a janitor/custodian, nor am I currently dating a janitor/custodian. But I deliberately chose this position for my hypothetical question because I've noticed that it's typically seen as being "bottom of the barrel" in terms of occupations - janitors are often dismissed as being on the "lowest rung of the economic ladder", almost as if they're peasants or something. In many office buildings and schools where janitors work, they are largely ignored and avoided, and I do believe that many of the office workers and faculty see the custodial staff as "below" them in some way, even if they would never admit it.

 

The point that you made is perfectly illustrated in an episode of "Two Guys, A Girl and A Pizza Place" - Sharon, who is a lawyer, is dating Johnny, who is a janitor. She is extremely embarrassed over this, and convinces him to lie about what he does for a living when she introduces him to her friends.

 

So, I guess I would ask you - WHY do you think that if you're holding a position which requires any type of degree, that you should "set your sights higher"? I'm not attacking your position, I'm just curious about this way of thinking - it's the reason that I asked the question in the first place, so I'm glad that you brought this up.

 

Since you started this thread, I'm curious as to what your opinion is.

 

I would ABSOLUTELY date somebody who was a janitor/custodian - if I fell in love with somebody, something like that wouldn't matter to me. Not to mention that it shows that he's a hard-working, contributing member of society.

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When I was single probably not but it would have depended on why he did that kind of work and what his long term goals were. If he had a higher degree and was intelligent and ambitious and was doing that job in order to accomplish longer term goals (or simply to make ends meet temporarily) then maybe. I would be friends with the person however if we got along that way. The financial aspects would be mostly irrelevant.

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I care more about work ethic than I do about a specific vocation. My ex had a very different type of career than I do and made substantially less income, but I didn't care at all. She was a hard worker and I respected her dedication and work ethic immensely. She was damn good at her job and was very devoted to it.

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I'm fascinated by how much somebody's occupation, financial status or social "class" affects someone's romantic attraction or desire to be with them.

 

I'd go in the other direction, if anything. I wouldn't avoid people because they were "lower" than me, but I would be cautious about seeing someone much much richer than me, or someone with a very stressful job like an emergency room doctor. I'm not saying I wouldn't do it, but I'd want to think through the implications - or talk through them, if things got serious.

 

I also wouldn't particularly want to date someone in exactly the same line of work as me.

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I'm fascinated with this on a societal level, not a personal level - I'm not a janitor/custodian, nor am I currently dating a janitor/custodian. But I deliberately chose this position for my hypothetical question because I've noticed that it's typically seen as being "bottom of the barrel" in terms of occupations - janitors are often dismissed as being on the "lowest rung of the economic ladder", almost as if they're peasants or something. In many office buildings and schools where janitors work, they are largely ignored and avoided, and I do believe that many of the office workers and faculty see the custodial staff as "below" them in some way, even if they would never admit it.

 

It's seen that way because it is on the bottom of the socio-economic ladder. I think a lot of people feel somewhat guilty for even thinking that, so they tend to make a big deal out of pretending like that's not the case. They're probably good people, they're probably hard workers, they're human beings just like the rest of us.

 

Well, of course they are. But it's a form of condescension to even make the point to begin with. Would you go out of your way to think such a thing about a lawyer or doctor?

 

This reminds me of an episode of "Louie". Louis C.K. is at the comedy club standing by the waitress station when he overhears a waitress complaining about how she's got a table of black folks--no good tips coming from them. Louie gets in an argument with her about how that's racist. As she's leaving a black waitress comes over and asks what the argument was about. At the end of his recap, she says "that's not racist--black people don't tip, as&$%le!"

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Nope. I'm sorry I'm being honest. I would prefer a college educated man who was in something a bit more "respectable". There is nothing wrong with janitors or people who clean for a living, I'd be friends and would be polite and kind. However when it comes to looking for a mate, I prefer someone with higher ambitions and with a degree and a steady stable income. I want to be proud of what he does, not embarrassed and I'd be embarrassed to date a janitor. I would date a man in the trades though(like HVAC, fireman, Electrician, Construction Manager, Plumber) because for those fields there is education and training involved, a pretty good demand(which means job stability), the pay is decent and the titles are a bit more "respectable". I know that my response probably will come off as snobby or shallow, but I'm simply being honest. Not to mention I've never seen a "cleaner" or janitor that was attractive enough to consider dating. But I've seen plenty of HVAC Techs, Firemen, Plumbers and construction managers that are pretty cute!

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As long as you yourself have education and skills, I can understand the desire. To have someone be on equal footing as you, yes, I can see that.

 

I do think it's shallow and almost comical when an uneducated, unskilled person demands a partner that is educated and highly skilled. But I don't think that's where you were coming from, fortunately.

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As long as you yourself have education and skills, I can understand the desire. To have someone be on equal footing as you, yes, I can see that.

 

I do think it's shallow and almost comical when an uneducated, unskilled person demands a partner that is educated and highly skilled. But I don't think that's where you were coming from, fortunately.

 

Pretty much. I have an education and have worked in professional fields. Like I said I wouldn't be opposed to dating a tradesman who also had an education(though different than mine) and was in a field that was stable, decent paying, etc but I would not date a custodian unless there were some crazy circumstances around it(such as he has a degree but due to the economy this was the only work he could get but he has plans for finding other employment).

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I would not date a custodian unless there were some crazy circumstances around it(such as he has a degree but due to the economy this was the only work he could get but he has plans for finding other employment).

 

Good friend of mine has a degree in Russian literature (obtained as a mature student, purely because he was interested in the subject), but works part-time as a general repair/maintenance man at a school and does odd jobs (plumbing, minor carpentry etc.) on the side. Very smart and likeable guy, but his aspirations are all about personal/intellectual/spiritual improvement rather than professional, and he doesn't feel a lot of material needs.

 

Would you date him, out of interest?

 

(He is in fact in a relationship, I'm not trying to play broker here!

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Good friend of mine has a degree in Russian literature (obtained as a mature student, purely because he was interested in the subject), but works part-time as a general repair/maintenance man at a school and does odd jobs (plumbing, minor carpentry etc.) on the side. Very smart and likeable guy, but his aspirations are all about personal/intellectual/spiritual improvement rather than professional, and he doesn't feel a lot of material needs.

 

Would you date him, out of interest?

 

(He is in fact in a relationship, I'm not trying to play broker here!

 

I don't know. I like material things a lot. On the other hand I do have aspirations that center around personal/intellectual/spiritual improvement... Professionally I do have ambitions, but they aren't the center of my world--the biggest for me is contentment peace and happiness. However like I said I like material things and because of that I know that I probably would not be compatible. He has a degree, he likes to learn, he just likes doing odd jobs. I'd have no issue with someone educated, who sees work as a "job" and is about personal fulfillment. But on the same token the "job" needs to pay the bills and be comfortable and steady. As long as you friend was in that position and he liked material things more, then yes I would give him a chance. But he isn't a custodian--a plumber, carpenter they are trades and I look at trades differently then mopping a floor and cleaning toilets. Trades you go to school for, you get licensed, you have to do "x" amount of hours to gain skill and prestige, the pay is good and benefits are good for certain trades... Again completely different from becoming a janitor.

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Good friend of mine has a degree in Russian literature (obtained as a mature student, purely because he was interested in the subject), but works part-time as a general repair/maintenance man at a school and does odd jobs (plumbing, minor carpentry etc.) on the side. Very smart and likeable guy, but his aspirations are all about personal/intellectual/spiritual improvement rather than professional, and he doesn't feel a lot of material needs.

 

Would you date him, out of interest?

 

(He is in fact in a relationship, I'm not trying to play broker here!

 

My issue wouldn't be his type of employment as opposed to why he chose it - and the why might not be compatible with my goals - I wanted someone who was financially stable similar to my financial situation and with similar goals of marriage and family. Children are expensive even if you live rather simply and I wouldn't want to be in a situation where we constantly disagreed on where "needs" ended and "wants" started when it comes to material things. I'm not materialistic in the least and it would still be a concern to me. It would not be a concern in a platonic friendship.

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