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Why do men fall in love more quickly than women????


serve_the_people

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It really all depends on the individual, but women are generally perceived as being more emotional and in touch with their feelings. So it seems that if we are generalizing, women probably fall in love faster then men. Though again, it depends on the individual. I don't fall in love fast, but the couple times I have, and the other crushes I've had, they have all been very deep and take a long time to get over.

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I know a lot of people might disagree with me, but I suspect it might have to do with the way men and women fall in love. I think men fall in love with what he sees and feels right away from a woman... how she looks, how she makes him feel, how she laughs, certain personality qualities. But women are biologically wired to look for signals of a good provider and caretaker in a mate... which take longer to evaulate.

 

Also, women are more emotionally expressive, which allows a man to get to know a women better. Men are less expressive, so it takes longer to get to know them and fall in love with them.

 

Just a thought. Interesting question.

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I think women get attached to a man more quickly than vice versa but when a man falls in love with a woman, it is harder for him to let go than a woman. Hence the difference between love and attachment.

 

WHY? Why do I get so attached so easily? Why do women do this? Sometimes it's so hard to distinguish the difference between love and attachment! Im ranting...lol!

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I think it highly depends on the level of maturity (when I say mature- I don't refer to age- some people can be extremely mature for their age) . We ALL have crushes in our lives at one point in time or the other.

 

In terms of mature relationships and love I think that often times, based on the topic of your post, some people cannot distinguish between the true meaning of love and lust.

 

Whoever said that men fall in love and out of love faster than women do, I think what they're alluding to- is the fact that most often, people mistake lust for love, when in fact, to love someone- to truly love someone- that feeling takes time. People just DON'T fall in and out of love that fast. If that's the case- then whatever emotions that person faces- it's mostly either:

A. Lust -OR-

B. falling for an illusion of Who they think they love, but they really don't really love. They fall in love with an illussion not the actual person. In other words, the lust factor overpowers their ability to make a better judgement of who they love. It's hard for them to dissociate lust from love. Make any sense? It doesn't mean that lust can't also turn into love, because it can. It just takes time for BOTH people to really get to know each other.

 

Love is very complex. It takes time. Side Note When someone says they love you too fast too soon, don't believe them. Take their words with caution. I had several experiences in the past where the guys I either dated or were friends with jumped in too soon by saying "I really care for you a lot" or "I really love you" within just 2 months of knowing or dating me- it NEVER turned out right. That's why I say take things with a grain of salt.

 

Another thing- basic components of love are:

#1. HONESTY

2. RESPECT

3. ADMIRATION

4. PATIENCE

5. UNDERSTANDING

6. EMPATHY towards one another.

7. SINCERITY

...These are all common elements found in love. Love takes time. It's like a rose that blossoms, but slowly. Should anyone ever say that they love you too quick too soon- if it sounds too good to be true- tell that person to take it slow. It's always safe to start with a solid friendship first- then relationship second- no rushing. REALLY- you really want to make sure that this person knows what they're talking about before you give your entire heart to them.

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One simple word SEX. That is why men fall in love faster. A woman can have a lot of control over a man if she satififys him in bed.

 

 

I gave your reply some thought and replayed my relationships in my head.I always got to know my SO before jumping into bed with them.

 

I disagree with you.That's just me though.

 

That's an unfair theory of yours.Did you read it somewhere?

 

I'm curious.

 

About the topic at hand it depends on the individual.

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A woman can have a lot of control over a man if she satififys him in bed.
Yes/No. This is a naiive assumption. It could be true in some cases.. not all.

 

Yes-For men who are weak- this is true. That's why we have gold diggers who really know how to have their way with men, because men like that, DON'T know themselves, nor do they have a spine. Some of them are too shallow to realize that money doesn't buy love, nor does it buy true friendships (but that's another story).

 

No- For men who really know themselves, who are confident, who have moral character, who AREN'T shallow, who have a better sense of judgement. A Real man sticks around because he truly loves her for who she is, not just the pootang.

 

One important fact to keep in mind- when it comes to relationships- it's not about control, it's about bonding and sharing.

 

If a woman thinks that she has control over her man just because she's good in bed, she'll be in for a rude awakening. Once the passion fades, and if there isn't anything that a man admires about his woman, she's nothing but another piece of meat that's easily replaceable. Smart men keep women who they love and respect, not women who try to control them by using sex as their weapon.

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I think the feminist movement has something to do with it. Alot of men are still traditional in that they just want to meet a girl, fall in love with her, and marry her. But the new feminist movement has women thinking that they deserve many men, or that no man is good enough for them.

 

Of course these are just generalizations and there are men and women of all tpyes who all want different things

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One important fact to keep in mind- when it comes to relationships- it's not about control, it's about bonding and sharing.

 

Great point Billy. I was just thinking about how many problems in relationships stem from this idea of needing to maintain control and power. It's one big game, a tug of war to see who can control the other. It's why you get so many people trying to be manipulative and they just end up hurting and using the other person. It's a way of masking their own insecurities. But if the relationship is going to be successful, it should be equal, 50/50. It's about sharing what is inside you, giving of yourself. Of course, you can't be the one giving everything while the other gives nothing. But at the same time, you shouldn't be trying to take more then you give. So many of the problems I see every day can be solved with this one simple idea.

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  • 4 years later...
I think the feminist movement has something to do with it. Alot of men are still traditional in that they just want to meet a girl, fall in love with her, and marry her. But the new feminist movement has women thinking that they deserve many men, or that no man is good enough for them.

 

Of course these are just generalizations and there are men and women of all tpyes who all want different things

 

First, I'm just gonna say that I'm sick of hearing guys blame the feminist movement for this and that, particularly when the argument is empty and stated like something out of a junior high essay.

 

What I WILL say in agreement is that the concept of free sex has opened the gates more commonly for people to have sex openly and without commitment. If BOTH parties are willing, it's all well and good, I'd suppose. The problem is that there are plenty of men and women alike who want a real relationship. This culture of sex and no worries makes people feel perfectly comfortable jumping right into bed, only to find out that they hadn't developed the friendship and respect integral to a relationship. Not suprisingly, the relationship falls apart. Restraint is a good thing for keeping one's head on straight. So what you're really blaming here is the sexual revolution?

 

Addressing what you said: "But the new feminist movement has women thinking that they deserve many men, or that no man is good enough for them."

 

Who says women need to be desperate? No person WANTS to be desperate! Everyone wants options.

I am a woman. It's my life! It is my RIGHT to have a choice in what I fill my life with. Certainly you could not criticize a person right to seek out an ideal best friend and partner??????????

This is the right of any man or woman, to be quite certain.

The feminist movement is about equality. Different and equally special.

 

Perhaps you were burned by a woman in the past, or have had your advances spurned.

Why don't you take it as a challenge.

And perhaps take the chip off your shoulder as well?

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I have read in my social psychology texts that men fall in love more quickly than women do???

 

That sounds very true with the limited dating experience that I have. With my first love, it took me a few weeks to actually start falling in love with him when he initially fell in love with me out of the blue. I did think that he was a very attractive guy and I thought that he was great and all so it didn't take too long for me to fall in love with him. As for my current love, it took me at least two and a half years for me to fall in love with him. He didn't seem as attractive to me like my first love had and I was a little bit apprehensive in falling in love with him due to an age gap (11 years). But with him, he fell in love with me probably six months after we met and started lusting for me after 15 minutes of meeting so I think that's true.

 

With regards to why, I think it's the way how men and women love one another. That's how far I can really take it for now.

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  • 1 month later...

my experiences agree with what OP is saying. bf definitely loved me first, within weeks of meeting. I've also read articles that say men fall in love faster and take longer to fall out of love! I think this is also consistent with what I know.

 

but every relationship is different, so generalizations are kinda useless for individual cases. interesting though!

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This analysis is being painted by an extremely wide brush. It is generalizing either sex on a measurement that is unquantifiable. You cannot measure love. In that same way, you cannot define who really fell in love first because so many people don't even know what love feels like. (Bella from Twilight, for example)

The whole concept of what love is and how it feels is grown into us throughout our life starting most probably in young-childhood. From a psycho-analytical perspective, men would probably fall in love faster and cling longer because of their on average rougher upbringing. Boys are seen as tougher and although it is not always the case, they are often mistreated or treated worse by parents. This upbringing causes (some) men to long for love, wrongly interpreting the emotions or simply falling faster. They cling longer because love is foreign and exciting. They haven't had it before and the very thought of someone loving them makes them ecstatic.

From personal experience, I have always said I have fallen in love after the other person. That does not always mean I fell in love after them however. It all depends on the person and their experiences. Love is always a case by case subject. Everyone is different.

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From personal experience, all of my exes and my current boyfriend told me they loved me within 1 month of being together. My current boyfriend actually said it 2 weeks before he even asked me out.

 

But on the flip side, I know girls whose boyfriends didn't say it until after 1 year of dating and only because she said it first.

 

So I think it could go either way.

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Whenever I've felt I loved someone, it's always really quick and usually based on nothing but a feeling. Then I get shot down and I find out that it wasn't really 'love' I was feeling.

 

I think women can develop crushes like that, but it generally happens faster to men. Don't ask me why. It would be a lot easier if I didn't crush on so many girls who were 'unavailable.'

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This is interesting, and while I agree with the OP, I'm not entirely sure why. My best guess? If you look at the traditional and evolutionary roles of men and women, men did the chasing while women chose their "mate". In this case, men have to decide before they invest time and energy into something, and maybe "fall" faster to help with this investment and evaluate women on more superficial means - or as somebody else mentioned on women's more open expressions of emotions perhaps they are easier to read straight up.

 

Because women would choose a man based on the likelihood that he would stick around and help nurture her children, and be able to provide for a family, maybe women are more cautious and take more time to evaluate a mate, and consequently, fall in love.

 

It could also be that a woman's reciprocation of attention satisfies a man's sense of self increasing the likelihood and speed with which he falls in love, something that women maybe biologically anticipate and don't respond to as quickly or deeply based on the idea that men have to "chase" women, while women choose their "mate".

 

This is based on pure speculation and just some food for thought.

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