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What do you do when you're emotionally drained and somewhat depressed?


Debra_Wilson

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These past months I've really been really drained emotionally and I'm quite exhausted with everything. I've lost my job, I've got my heart broken by someone I was very much into,and I've lost a family member by death who I was quite close to and all of this seemed to happen back to back. What also hurts is I haven't really gotten much support from my family and friends... It kind of shows me that all I have is myself and that really hurts to feel like that.

 

I've always been much of a loner but these feelings of sadness and anxiety is driving me crazy. I just got up this morning and all I can do is cry. I haven't been up to job searching and I don't even feel like going out because realistically, going out depresses me even more. I can't seem to make friends no matter how hard I try and I've always been socially awkward.

 

These feelings of loneliness,despair and sadness is really taking a toll on me. I find it to be much worst at night when I'm in bed with no one to cuddle with, just darkness and silence. I really don't know how much longer I can take of this feeling. I'm so lost and confused about life, I don't even know what I should do with myself. I'm scared. I've been feeling so much anxiety, going out doesn't help much because I still feel sad in my heart and I don't know how or when I'll feel happy again.

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I am so sorry to hear you have had such a rough streak lately, Debra.

 

Well I was going to suggest you surround yourself with people who make you feel good. For me sometimes, it isn't necessarily the closest relationships in my life or my family that helps the most when I am feeling so drained and blue. It often ends up being people you'd least suspect.

 

You are carrying a lot of sad and anxious energy right now, and it's understandable. Also, you are feeling lonely. While no one and nothing out there can really take away all the hurt you are feeling, it does help a lot of times to get some doses of joy and feelings of belonging and fun and safety when times get tough like this.

 

Some of the things that have helped me:

My pets, or even sometimes other people's pets and dropping by the animal shelter. Giving some love to those little guys.

Funny movies. Even better to watch with someone with an easy sense of humour, or several people. Going to the comedy club is great too.

Exercise. You knew that was coming!;0 But Even better if it is something you find really fun. The focus on having a good time, relaxing, maybe with some people who you like or who are positive. I like frisbee, playing catch, walks in the park (with or without pets), lazy swims...for times like that.

 

Of course you want to be easy on yourself right now, but not so easy that you fall into a deep depression. Try to swing the momentum a bit with some fun and relaxation. Give yourself regular breaks where you do not think of your problems, at least for certain periods of time, and try to not focus on the negative feelings 100% of your day. You still deserve to be happy.

 

As for nights, I know what you mean. I think we have all had that feeling at some point or another. The best thing I have found for that is spending lots of energy in the day getting closer to what you want, doing things that matter to you, keeping busy and having happy moments in your day. It might not take away the loneliness or difficulty at night completely at first, but you will sleep better and have less time or inclination to ruminate in your bed. Also, if you do find yourself going down a real bad path in bed; get up and do something. Break the feeling, have a cup of herbal tea or something, and just don't allow yourself to get too sucked into a negative spiral.

 

hope you feel better soon.

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If you want to cry then let yourself cry. You just feel unstable emotionally at this moment and you need to put your inner pain somewhere. It may seem that at this moment you are totally alone because no-one is supporting you. But there are many other people around you which you don't know yet and they would care about you. You are really not totally alone. Maybe you should find a way to express these negative emotions by doing some activity like yoga to relax and set your minds free. In this way you would be surrounded by people and wouldn't feel alone. You would get into the new circle of communication, find new friends and soulmates. Or you may do some other sports or express yourself artistically like going outside and taking pictures of various things who would show your emotional side Just please don't even thing about doing something stupid.

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You have had some major stressors within a short period of time.....this would cause depression and anxiety in anyone. Have you had any counseling? You could even talk to your family doctor; most doctors would suggest medication, and possibly some talk therapy, as you cope with several hugely stressing situations, back/to/back. There are various medications, and they're not always for permanent use, often you just need them for a few months, gradually weaning off them, under a doctors care, of course.

 

If you could get a bit of relief from the extreme depression and anxiety - as the medication would genuinely give you some relief - then you'd be able to look at your situation more clearly, and this relief would also give you more energy - depression is physically exhausting/draining.

 

The other posters here gave many wonderful suggestions - but I know it's hard to make an effort to do more than simply get out of bed some days. And making new friends is harder than it sounds...you need some relief from the pain so that you can move on and resume job hunting, that is a major priority. And...like someone said.....baby steps. Because once you are out working again, you will be meeting people, and you can't make new friends unless you are out meeting new people. One thing at a time.

 

I don't make new friends easily, and I keep a very small circle. When I went through a breakup in November, my friends were 'there' for me (although I found that they tried to be supportive but most of the things they would say were thoughtless, and hurtful) so I just stopped talking about it with them....and I came here to ENA. The people here, the posts, were very helpful, I could find someone any time of the day or night, and I stayed mostly on the "Healing after a beakup or divorce" section....reading what other people were going through helped me so much.

 

Be kind to yourself, keep posting here, pm if you want to talk, I'm on this site, daily, as are many others - you really aren't alone - we're here for you until you can get stronger.

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