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Is Fingering and Giving/Receiving Hand Jobs considered Sex?


notgivingup

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I was talking to this girl yesterday and I was shocked by what she told me next. She told me that “fingering and giving/receiving hand jobs are considered sex”, I would like to hear your two cents on this. Do you agree or disagree with this? If you do agree, is doing something like this during the second week of a relationship considered moving too fast? If you do agree with this, why do you agree and if you disagree with this, why do you disagree?

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I think when you decide to partake in sexual acts with someone (handjobs, actual sex, fingering, oral, WHATEVER) is totally up to the people involved. I can't say. Personally, I like to wait a month or more before going beyond kissing and getting my breasts felt up, but that's just me. It will be different for everyone.

 

And I disagree with the girl....I think intercourse = sex. All other acts are sexual, but if the penis isn't in the vagina, it's not sex. Just my opinion.

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I think when you decide to partake in sexual acts with someone (handjobs, actual sex, fingering, oral, WHATEVER) is totally up to the people involved. I can't say. Personally, I like to wait a month or more before going beyond kissing and getting my breasts felt up, but that's just me. It will be different for everyone.

 

And I disagree with the girl....I think intercourse = sex. All other acts are sexual, but if the penis isn't in the vagina, it's not sex. Just my opinion.

 

I agree with you here, though not with the second section... oral sex is sex.. hence the name. lol. I'm holding back on saying anything political.

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She told me that “fingering and giving/receiving hand jobs are considered sex”

Outside of actual intercourse (which I think we all understand), there's no official definition of what constitutes "sex." She's free to define it for herself, as are you. You're not gonna get a definitive answer here, because there isn't one.

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Of course it is sex...you are touching someone's genitals for the purpose of giving them an orgasm. It may not be sexual intercourse..penis in vagina...but it is sexual contact. Lots of women like to kid themselves into thinking they are so morally righteous and virtuous because they have done everything but intercourse. However, the minute you are naked in front of someone or you have their hands down your pants handling your genitals, you can no longer play the "I am so virtuous" card simply because the penis has never been inserted. Giving someone an orgasm, watching them orgasm...is having sexual interactions with them. Just because it is not intercourse, doesn't mean it doesn't count for anything. Bill Clinton tried that tactic and people scoffed at it. Put it this way...if you were involved with someone and they told you they gave another person an orgasm by using their hand or finger, would you say "oh, well that's okay since it wasn't sex!". Of course not.

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I haven't read the other responses...

I believe that it's sex, yes. I would feel as if I cheated if I was in a relationship and indulged in those acts.

2 weeks in is a bit fast but it depends on the people involved. If they're ready then who puts a time frame on what you feel?

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If you want to be technical, no it's not sex. But by the time you're comfortable enough to get naked with someone and have "fun" with each others' naked bodies, it's already crossing that boundary.

 

I agree! If you are naked, or have hands in someone's pants and just merely don't experience penetration - that is still sex to me, or if you don't agree - it is physical intimacy. I think, for me, physical intimacy is out of the question on the second date. I can't say what other folks think nor will I presume that their definition is less correct. I just don't think you know someone well enough - unless that is your aim - a one night stand or fling.

 

 

 

This:

Hmm, might aswell call all that sex yeh. Though if you were being very detailed, you would say it wasn't. In an emotional sense, its all sex at the end of the day and has the same effect I think (apart from getting pregnant of course, lol)

 

I agree.

 

 

I guess I think when questions like this come along they are tricky as sometimes the asker of the question sometimes wants a gold star for not "technically" having sex or are trying to look for a way to disqualify what they did as sex, or the opposite if they are trying to point to being "experienced". Or are trying to prove someone in their life wrong for the sake of argument.

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Crazyaboutdogs hits it out of the park! Yes indeed it is sex. Parts are exposed and they get messy at the hands of another person. Pun intended. Two weeks is a bit soon in my estimation,however,it kind of depends how much you've been seeing each other in that two weeks. Still. A bit soon though

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I agree...I just call it "sexual contact" because I don't consider it "losing your virginity" if you have oral but not intercourse.

 

And absolutely, it is cheating. If my boyfriend fingered another girl, I'd be angry. If he had sex with another girl, I'd be just as angry. It doesn't matter what he did, it's still cheating!!

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I think there’s only one way to loose ones virginity and that’s intercourse in the traditional sense.

 

Personally I would say if the genitals are involved it’s sex. If someone told me they’d had oral sex but not “sex” I’d see that as a contradiction.

The oxford dictionary (could be out dated though) doesn’t seem to agree with me on this one but many medical professionals use the word “sex” to include all forms of sex. Not just singling out intercourse.

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Its funny my wife and her friends who are in committed relationships would call any form of genital touching "Sex"...those friends of ours who hop from guy to guy( no pun intended) consider it not to be sex. Hmmmmm...Would be interesting to take a poll on how many that consider this form of activity "Not Sex" have cheated on their previous partners before. Shall we?

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