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My girlfriend is a sociopath.


tbradley

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My girlfriend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5 years ago but has recently been told that it was a mis-diagnosis and that she is a sociopath.

 

At first, with her being bipolar, I could handle it. The mood swings, the lack of empathy or guilt... "It'll go away."

And it always does.

But now that I find that she is a sociopath and that it can never change... I don't know what to do.

 

I will never leave her. I never could.

 

But it kills me.

I HATE being in those situations. I just can't wait to go to sleep until it's gone. But now all I think about is that it will never stop. It will happen tomorrow and the next day...

My girlfriend will always be a sociopath and I will always be her "willing victim" as they put it.

 

Talking to her doesn't help.

The whole "lack of empathy" thing... That "no guilt" thing...

She, sincerely, does not think that there is anything wrong.

 

She doesn't care about how miserable I am.

 

Sociopaths cannot love someone.

But I know she loves me.

But I also know that she would say that... To reel me in.

 

All she does is tell me to grow up. She tells me that I am being sensitive. That I am overly dramatic.

 

I don't expect anyone knows how it feels unless they have been in love with a sociopath.

I don't think "my ex was crazy" covers it.

I can handle crazy.

I can't handle mental terrorist.

 

-Tiffany.

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You are contradicting yourself.

"sociopaths cannot love someone"

yet she loves you?

 

I don't know. You can leave her, I think you need to focus on yourself. You sound really needy. WHy won't you 'ever leave' her? I am not saying shes a bad person because she has a mental illness but... I dont think you can put up with a sociopath for very long.

You'll only go crazier.

 

 

And I was friends with a sociopath/manic depressive/narcissistic girl for about 5 years.

I know what it is like...

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My opinion is that you are your own worst enemy and if you hadn't found her you would have found someone else who would do your dirty work (i.e. emotionally terrorize you). In my best Forrest Gump voice, "Crazy is as crazy does." It's not wrong to be the way you are, but do yourself a favor and take responsibility for your choices because, as we all know, it takes two to tango.

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My opinion is that you are your own worst enemy and if you hadn't found her you would have found someone else who would do your dirty work (i.e. emotionally terrorize you). In my best Forrest Gump voice, "Crazy is as crazy does." It's not wrong to be the way you are, but do yourself a favor and take responsibility for your choices because, as we all know, it takes two to tango.

 

 

You said it better than I could

 

I would also ask for a second opinion, because that is a very serious diagnosis, and if she is not willing to see the faults of her wrong doings (because we all make mistakes) and get professional help, then I would be out of there quick.

 

You also need to see someone to help with the issues that this relationship has impacted on your personality. I hope it works out for you either way

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My girlfriend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5 years ago but has recently been told that it was a mis-diagnosis and that she is a sociopath.

 

I might be of the point here, but I'm interested on how did she react on that diagnosis? Did she just come and told it out, or?

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Either way, whatever diagnosis she is a (B-word) to you.

 

Why the fear of dumping her?

Do you think it will be REAL hard for you to find another woman?

Possibly because you are a woman as well and it's hard to find another woman with the same sex gender preference?

 

There is no reason to love who you have, if who you have hurts you.

 

You just have to realize it's far beyond logical to do so.

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I will never leave her. I never could

So what exactly are you asking us to do or say here? If you're a 'willing victom' why should we prevent this?

 

And if you already find her behaviour too difficult to cope with, the different diagnosis really doesn't make that much of a difference. Bipolar doesn't 'go away' any more than being a sociopath does.

 

Or do you suspect (perhaps rightly) that her diagnosis raises a lot of questions about your mental state?

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Well I've just read the definition of Sociopath as I didnt realise what it meant. God it's awful isn't it. Sounds like one of my ex-boyfriends. Is this a REAL mental illness, or does it just mean that they are "not a very nice person"?

 

You mean she has no empathy for anything? for children? or sad stories about ill children even. I can't quite imagine it. I can't imagine how you could have a relationship with her and feel any joy from it.

 

I understand that you must love her and that it would be hard to leave, but maybe you have to.

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Some information:

 

""Sociopathy is a complex personality disorder. Sociopaths exhibit a wide variety of maladaptive behavior which makes the condition difficult to diagnose. Sociopathy is not one trait; it is a syndrome—a cluster of related symptoms.

Psychopaths show a stunning lack of concern for the devastating effects their actions have on others. Often they are completely forthright about the matter, calmly stating that they have no sense of guilt, are not sorry for the pain and destruction they have caused, and that there is no reason for them to be concerned.

 

Psychopaths' lack of remorse or guilt is associated with a remarkable ability to rationalize their behavior and to shrug off personal responsibility for actions that cause shock and disappointment to family, friends, associates and others who have played by the rules. Usually they have handy excuses for their behavior, and in some cases they deny that it happened at all. ""

There is a book: "Without Conscience". It might help to read it.

 

There is no future with this person. Suffering, degradation and emotional numbness are all that await.

 

Take care

Hermes

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You should read the book ,"The Sociopath Nextdoor". Sociopaths are diagnosed in 1 out of 5 people according to that book. From what I remember they are born without a conscious and some warning signs are when they hurt animals at first. They pour steaming hot water on them and torture them. I would get out of this relationship ASAP. I'd sleep with one eye opened because they tend to be murderers. Google it. Good luck!

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  • 5 weeks later...

Tiffany,

 

Are you an identified lesbian? I am, too... and I am dating someone right now (Actually, we broke up again last week) who was diagnosed with bipolar 3 years ago, and I can swear it is a misdiagnosis. In fact, I believe that this diagnosis is used by my "ex" as a justification for her behavior. It is also less derogatory and more commonly known than Antisocial Personality Disorder A.K.A. "Psychopath," or "Sociopath."

 

I strongly believe my ex to have Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). There is a chance that she may be co-morbid, but I am almost positive she is a sociopath. I have been journaling since the age 7, and in the year and a half time that we have been involved, I have about 4 journals with entries regarding her behavior (both present and past), all text-book antisocial. I started out documenting things in the present, because I could not make sense of them and things were not lining up... and when they got too confusing, I decided to start contemplating her past and piecing together the pieces.

 

I had not really paid much attention to her past because I don't general focus on people's pasts, but as I stated earlier, I felt it was necessary and I had to when things started to not make sense.

 

My ex basically uses the label bipolar to justify her actions, and since it's widely known, she gains sympathy from it, but the truth is, it's (in my eyes) misdiagnosed.

 

She has a past history of drug (cocaine, marijuana, xanax) and alcohol abuse, cheating, stealing (for 3 consecutive years from her family's business where she worked), vandalism, compulsive lying, etc.

 

If you would like to discuss this more, maybe I can help you out, or we can share our experiences with one another for support.

 

-Em.

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You should read the book ,"The Sociopath Nextdoor". Sociopaths are diagnosed in 1 out of 5 people according to that book.

 

Sounds like nonsense as does every second person labelling their ex as bi-polar.

 

I'd LOVE to see a reference to 1 in 5 people being diagnosed as sociopaths.

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The OP said:

 

My girlfriend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5 years ago but has recently been told that it was a mis-diagnosis and that she is a sociopath.

 

This is a diagnosis, not about people labelling. And it is serious.

 

Check Dr. Robert Hare's work.

 

Sociopathy is a complex personality disorder. Sociopaths exhibit a wide variety of maladaptive behavior which makes the condition difficult to diagnose. Sociopathy is not one trait; it is a syndrome—a cluster of related symptoms.

 

To help professionals accurately diagnose the sociopath (also called a psychopath), Robert D. Hare, Ph.D., developed the Psychopathy Checklist. This is not a quiz you can try at home; it is a tool designed to be used exclusively by trained mental health professionals.

 

Dr. Hare has identified key symptoms of psychopathy. Excerpts from his descriptions of the symptoms appear below. (To be consistent with his work, Lovefraud has substituted the term "psychopath" for our usual use of "sociopath.") Lovefraud strongly recommends that you read his entire book, Without Conscience. The examples of behavior he includes with each description are eye-opening and chilling.

 

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