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Leaving a toothbrush at his place


Lemonie

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First, I'm curious as to your opinions about borrowing your significant other's toothbrush. I used to think it was really gross. First time my boyfriend offered to lend me his toothbrush, I said outright it was gross, but decided to anyway. Now, it doesn't bother me at all. I always borrow his toothbrush when staying at his place.

 

Anyway, something makes me think I should just get a toothbrush and leave it there, but I don't know how to go about it. We've never talked about living together or even marriage, and I've always been afraid to bring it up. Leaving something as trivial as a toothbrush sounds like a big leap already. We've been together for more than two years, but I think he's just not ready for that big leap yet. I don't leave ANYTHING at his place, not even a book. The only things we have at each other's places are stuff we've given to one another, not the kind of stuff that you leave when you start treating the place like your home.

 

Any thoughts?

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I don't like sharing toothbrushes either. I agree with Vic - it's kinda gross. You should get your own.

 

I know that some guys make a big deal about leaving stuff over but c'mon - it's a toothbrush! It's hygienic. Just get an extra one and leave one there, I'm sure he won't care.

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Nope, not sanitary at all... Brushing your teeth makes the gums bleed (even microsopic amounts), so you don't want that from a health perspective and possibilty transmitting diseases like colds, flus, infections and HIV.

 

You can guy plastic containers to hold toothbrushes at drug stores and just put one in your purse and carry it wtih you.... simple solution, solves the problem.

 

but on a side note, if you've been with someone 2 years and he won't let you leave even a toothbrush at his place, are you sure he isn't also still dating other women? After 2 years, he should at least let you have things like a toothbrush at his place unless he has something to hide or doesn't want you to think the relationship is permanent (and is leaving his options open to bring other women into his place).

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but on a side note, if you've been with someone 2 years and he won't let you leave even a toothbrush at his place, are you sure he isn't also still dating other women? After 2 years, he should at least let you have things like a toothbrush at his place unless he has something to hide or doesn't want you to think the relationship is permanent (and is leaving his options open to bring other women into his place).

 

It's not that he won't let me leave things there. It's that it's never been brought up.

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Well, that's not good either if you've been together for 2 years and haven't talked about things like that... unless you don't care whether the relationship is going anywhere or not. if you don't care and are happy with the arrangement, then just carry a toothbrush in your purse. But if you are really attached to him and maybe thinking about a future, best to talk to him about that now before you get in any deeper. Just because he hangs out with your and has sex with you doesn't always mean he's taking you or the relationship seriously. I've known people who've even lived together but not had conversations about what was going on or where the relationship was going, to have the person be totally surprised when they ask about it and discover the other person isn't that serious or is just looking for someone who is 'good enough for now' but not thinking about any real future with the person.

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Lemonie, it's such a simple thing that it's even not a problem And of course it has a very simple solution. I will advice you from my own experience. When I go to a guy's house, I always take the toothbrush with me. It's such a small thing, that it can fit even to the smallest bag. So it doesn't matter if you know that you will stay there or you will not, just take your toothbrush in your bag and carry it everywhere. And don't forget to bring it home when you finish using it. Don't leave ANY stuff at his house which would be a sign of "marking your territory" as long as he didn't asked you to move in to live.

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So in other words, all the same things she could get by kissing him?

 

LOL. This is also something that has crossed my mind.

 

Considering what we do, including not using a condom or doing oral, sharing a toothbrush is probably low on my worries in terms of hygiene.

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So in other words, all the same things she could get by kissing him?

Haha yeah. I mean, I've never shared a toothbrush, but I hardly think it's the most disgusting thing ever for people who are probably sharing all sorts of germs anyway!

 

 

I think it's a problem that you've been together 2 years and can't bring it up. Just bring a toothbrush with you next time and either ask him if you can leave it somewhere or just make a joke about how you finally got your own toothbrush. No big deal, or it shouldn't be. I've never really bothered with it though. I usually carry an extra toothbrush in my purse, and I have extra toothbrushes at my house that I offer to guys I'm dating the first night they stay over. They tuck it in a drawer for next time and that's that.

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^^and tons you can not get by kissing. It is just not sanitary. I would not want to smear someone else's bacteria and germs all over my teeth and mouth.

 

What can you get that you can't get from kissing? I agree that using someone else's toothbrush is probably a good idea, but at the same time I don't see it as a huge risk in the grand scheme of things.

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In a pinch just dip it in bleach, rinse it and go for it. But the simplest solution is to get one of those plastic toothbrush carrier thingies and have one with you. I mean you probably carry some kind of make up or hairbrush or something anyway in your purse.

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Just buy a toothbrush and leave it there girl! It may not be the most unsanitary thing in the world but the idea of using anyone's toothbrush just gives me the creeps. And come on, after 2 years, you can leave a toothbrush there. I'm sure he won't mind. When I was dating my ex for less than a year, he started actually buying things - blowdryer, straightener, toothbrush, body washes - for me to keep at his place.

 

It's not as huge a leap as you would think really, it's just a toothbrush at the end of the day.

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What can you get that you can't get from kissing? I agree that using someone else's toothbrush is probably a good idea, but at the same time I don't see it as a huge risk in the grand scheme of things.

 

When you brush, your gums can bleed a little and be more exposed. This makes you way more vulnerable to infection versus just kissing. Plus you're literally "rubbing" someone else's germs right IN the gums.

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This one's a no brainer. Since you've been together 2 yrs already, go with this- (said with much humor)

 

Hey hon ----I don't want you to freak or anything, but would you mind horribly if I left a toothbrush here. I'm tired of using yours, or getting my stuff all damp cause I throw it in my bag.

 

I did this, and a month later he was telling me if I wanted to leave my "upscale" shampoo and conditioner, that would be okay. My response "really, hun? That's moving kinda fast, don't you think?"

 

Just keep it playful....don't make him think you are ready for "the talk"!!!!

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I think it's really important to know how he feels about it so I would definitely talk to him first, if he doesn't like the idea of you leaving some things at his place then maybe that could be an indication he doesnt want any commitment?

 

On a lighter note though I think it's sweet if your boyfriend offers you to use his toothbrush, its like he doesn't mind sharing your germs...there's trust there but it's obviously not something you'd want to do all the time, I can imagine it's not too hygenic but it's the gesture, it's sweet

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