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Do Men Cry After A Breakup?


WhenWillILove

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I cried and some times still do 2 weeks later, I don't no why? I think it makes me feel like I actually gave it my all. Do I feel weaker, no. She never cried for me, at least that I know of. In all of my break ups, about 50/50 I cried..the times I didn't were ones I was cheated on, or that I saw it coming and dropped the hand of doom on them before the had a chance to strike. I know that sounds "macho" but in my younger years, as a lot of 21 year olds are claiming "it gets better, I promise" I was numb, I had hope, and I had no experience with actual adult heartbreak, after college or uni everything changes. But in regards to your question, I have seen a good amount of men cry after a break up, dumper or dumpee...why do you care?

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I cried in front of my best friend, who is also my workout spotter, who wrestled in high school, started training in mixed martial arts, almost did natural bodybuilding, and was training for the navy seals...he's like the most masculine guy I know. He patted me on the back.

 

Wow He must be a hot one, right? Too cool for crying, eh?

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The only time I ever cried in my adult years (not just tears) was when my friend died. I'm not ashamed that I did and honestly, I'd be more ashamed if I didn't.

After that, I just couldn't bring myself to ever feel like that ever again. Even after my break up with my ex.

 

I will say this though, on some levels, losing my ex was in some ways more painful than losing my friend. I hate to say it, but sometimes that's how it felt. Maybe it was cause the pain of losing my ex was so fresh to me. It's not that the break up wasn't intense, but I just can't cry like that ever again unless something really painful triggers it. That's not to say that I don't tear up sometimes, infact just the thought of my friend right now makes me wanna tear.

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In all honesty, I've only cried once in my adult life and that was the night my mother died a few years ago. Haven't cried since and I'm not entirely sure it's physically possible for me to cry.

 

My worst break up left me EXTREMELY sad and depressed but I did not cry. Not because I think it's macho not to cry or anything, just that I'm not sure my tear ducts actually work anymore because I don't even know how I would go about crying.

 

I don't think crying makes a man weaker at all. Blubbing over everything is probably too much but something that is emotionally heartbreaking or taxing like a break up or a death or something similiar is a very valid.

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I'm not a man but, I have male friends who have cried on my shoulder after break ups or for other reasons.

I don't think that anybody should ever feel ashamed, weak or emasculated in any way because of crying.

I just see it as a natural, human release of emotion.

Though it is my understanding that MOST males will hide away to cry and will present an 'I'm 100% in control' attitude to the outside world.

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I'm not a man but, I have male friends who have cried on my shoulder after break ups or for other reasons.

I don't think that anybody should ever feel ashamed, weak or emasculated in any way because of crying.

I just see it as a natural, human release of emotion.

Though it is my understanding that MOST males will hide away to cry and will present an 'I'm 100% in control' attitude to the outside world.

 

It appears that way, generally speaking. I've had a couple boyfriends and male friends that were completely comfortable crying in front of me(arguments, movies, whatever it may be), but probably the majority, when their eyes would cloud, they'd get angry and frustrated with themselves for the 'loss of control' and instead of crying they'd snap verbally or go 'walk it off'.

 

Generally speaking, the ones who were more comfortable with that expression of emotion were more emotionally healthy and content, less anger-ridden. Just saying.

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I cried a few times and still well up and it's been two months. I never did it to her or around anybody else. The first couple of times I wailed in my apartment. I can still hear the echo. I haven't been that sad in a really long time. But it allowed me to release my emotions. But it became more difficult because she was contacting me still all the time, every day, wanted to see each other almost everyday etc. So I didn't know what was going on and thought we were just taking care of a few issues. But I then realized she had her sights on someone else. I wailed again. Not to her, by myself alone. The wailing began to stop after 3 or 4 times, now I just well up and take a deep breath and dry my eyes. I think it releases feelings you can't verbally express. It has actually made me feel better so I am not ashamed as I kept it to myself. I have caught myself a few times preferring to cry to release the terrible feelings in my chest and stomach which I still have to this day. But that too is going away. I think crying is okay because it works for me. But one thing I will never do is cry to her about her taking me back, i'll change, i'm sorry, etc. No way, that'll never work and it will just push them further away and me further away from myself.

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Ofcourse I cried. I cried my eyes out. Even after 2 months after the breakup, I still cry occationally. Especially since I've heard she's already going on dates with other guys. But what can you do about it? Crying is necessary, in my opinion. I actually feel better after crying. It doesn't make me feel less masculine, it makes me feel human and alive. Men are not heartless. They do have emotions, even though they hate to show them. They always try to look confident, cool and like they don't care at all. But they do care. Men hate to show weakness, especially to their (male) friends. It's like putting a mask on. When they are by themselves, alone in their room, they feel sad. They probably cry too.

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Yep. I cry whenever I feel I need to. Hell, every time I watch the movie "Saving Private Ryan" I'm totally balling at the end.

 

And to answer the OPs question. Yes I have cried over a breakup. I think most men who were in love with someone and it didn't work out have...even if their ego doesn't allow them to admit it.

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I cried when we were having our break because I thought I may as well get it out and prepare for the worst but hope for the best. Was one of the best things I ever did as when we finally had the talk I acted manly and didn't take it half as badly as I would've if I hadn't cried when we first took our break.

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The only time I ever cried in my adult years (not just tears) was when my friend died. I'm not ashamed that I did and honestly, I'd be more ashamed if I didn't.

 

When I was 15 years old, my friend was hit by a car and died. I never cried and wondered at the time what the hell was wrong with me. I thought about him a lot, and going to his wake (open casket) left an impression on me - but still I never cried about it though I felt I needed to and probably should. I still feel ashamed of that to this day. Still have not cried about it...

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